He leaned down and lightly brushed his lips against mine. “Maybe my memory is coming back already.”
He devoured my lips and I couldn’t resist him. Clinging to his shoulders, I held on as he claimed me all over again. I only hoped he remembered it, and me, this time. And I hoped like hell that he hadn’t injured himself further by taking me so roughly. I’d loved every second of it, but from the bruising on his body, I knew he had to be hurting.
Chapter Five
Ashes
Two months and I still had huge gaps in my memory. The rest of me had healed just fine. Thankfully, nothing had been broken, except my brain. Every now and then I thought I remembered Nikki. A flash of her at a party or with another man. Several of her with her brother. But not a damn one that reminded me how we’d ended up together. I could have asked, but I kept hoping it would all come back to me. There was a tug in my chest whenever she was near, and I found myself falling for her all over again. She was the sweetest woman, and I knew I was damn lucky to have her.
Her belly had gotten bigger and she looked like she might pop at any moment, even though both she and her doctor assured me it wasn’t time yet. I found myself pressing a hand to her baby bump every chance I got, loving the feel of little Oliver pushing back. Our son. I smiled, wondering if he’d look like his mom or like me.
Nikki had tried to put some distance between us, attempted to sleep in the guest room those first few nights, but I’d refused to let her. If she said she was mine, then I wanted her with me. I’d taken her against the shower wall not long after learning that she wasn’t some club whore like I’d accused when I’d first come home. Maybe it was wrong. All right, so it had definitely been wrong, but I’d hoped it would spark a memory. Being inside her had felt incredible, and really damn familiar. Any time I reached for her, she’d always come willingly. I’d been gentle, or tried to be.
Until this morning, when I’d accidentally hurt her.
Which was why we were now at her doctor’s office, and she sat on the padded table wearing one of those gowns. There’d been a bit of blood, and it had scared the shit out of me. I’d immediately helped her dress and brought her in, insisting they make room for her in the schedule.
I grasped her hand, needing the comfort of her touch as I worried about her and our baby. If I’d done anything to hurt Oliver, or Nikki, I’d never forgive myself. It was bad enough I couldn’t be around her brother without an argument starting. I didn’t even understand why he was so pissed at me. We were brothers, part of the same club, and family. I could only imagine how furious he’d be if he knew I hurt Nikki today.
The doctor came in, smiling broadly. “Good afternoon, Nikki. I see you’re a few days early for your appointment. The nurse said you’d bled a little today.”
Nikki nodded. “We, um…”
My woman blushed so hard her entire face turned red.
“We were having sex,” I said. “But she cried out in pain and I noticed she was bleeding. I made her come straight here.”
“We’re going to check on baby Oliver first, then I’ll need to check you and see if there’s still some bleeding or if you’re dilated.” The doctor patted Nik’s knee. “Just let me get the portable machine brought in.”
The woman turned to go and Nikki cried out. I stared, jaw dropping, at the water dripping off the table. Holy shit!
“Or we can deliver a baby,” the doctor said.
“What? No!” Nikki started breathing hard and I could see the wildness in her eyes. She was in a full-on panic. “It’s too soon!”
There was something in the doctor’s eyes that said she agreed, but by the way her jaw firmed, I knew whatever she said next would be to help keep Nikki calm. Maybe it was too early, but I didn’t know exactly what that meant.
“Your baby is developed enough that Oliver will be fine, Nikki. He’s only three weeks early. There may be some health risks down the road, but delivering at this stage is much safer than if he’d arrived two or three weeks ago.”
I’d been reading the baby books, and even though I still didn’t know much of anything about babies or the birthing process, I could tell the doctor was trying to ease Nik’s fears. She was right about the health issues, though. I also knew that keeping Nikki calm was necessary. If her blood pressure and heartrate spiked, it could stress the baby. I’d read that just the other day as I tried to prepare for the arrival of our son. I smoothed my hand over her hair and leaned down to press a kiss to her cheek.
“Easy, sweetheart. You’ve got this.”
“I’m going to call over to the hospital and get a room ready for you,” the doctor said. “Think you can walk to the hall and I’ll have a wheelchair brought around?”
Nikki nodded, her grip on my hand tightening.
“So, Dad, keep her calm and we’ll be saying hi to little Oliver soon enough.”
The next three hours passed so damn slowly I thought I’d lose my mind. I stayed with Nikki in the delivery room. Sweat soaked her hair as she screamed, cussed, and pushed for all her worth. The way she squeezed my hand, I thought she might break all my fingers, but I didn’t care. If I could ease her pain, I would. Little Oliver just didn’t want to cooperate. His head would start to come out, then the doctor said he’d just retreat back inside Nikki. They were close to getting forceps when he finally shot out of her into the doctor’s waiting hands.
I smiled down at Nikki, so damn proud of her. Until the murmurs of the staff in the room caught my attention. Along with the silence.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
The doctor gave me a sad look as the nurses rushed Oliver from the room. What the fuck was going on? I looked at Nikki and saw tears slipping down her cheeks. The doctor pressed on her stomach and said something about delivering the placenta, then they were cleaning her up. Nikki was moved to another bed and placed into a room in the maternity ward, but we still hadn’t seen Oliver.
“Where’s my son?” I asked the next nurse who stopped in.
She gave me a smile, but she had that same spooked look I’d seen right before Oliver had been taken away. Something was wrong, but I didn’t know what. And I knew Nik needed answers too.
“They’ll bring him to you soon.”
“What happened? Why wasn’t he crying? Don’t babies cry when they’re born?”
“The doctor will answer your questions soon enough. Please, try not to worry. Do you need anything?”
I shook my head and held Nikki’s hand. I could feel the tension rolling off her. My gut was churning over the fear of losing Oliver before we ever really had him. I’d spent the last two months talking to the kid, and now I might never get to meet him.
“Archer, what if… what if…”
I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. “Hush. He’ll be fine. We’ll get to hold him soon.”
She nodded, but I could tell she didn’t believe me. Hell, I didn’t believe me either.
Another hour went by and finally, a small clear bed was wheeled into the room. A blue bundle lay inside, and my heart swelled with so much love for the tiny boy inside. Nikki pushed herself higher up in bed and I released her hand to go to Oliver. My hands shook as I picked him up. He yawned and smacked his lips, then turned his head toward me.