Since I’d been the one doing her laundry lately, I just shoved it between the washer and the wall, making a mental note to grab it the next time I was here and do a load of towels. The last thing I needed was Nikki finding that and freaking the hell out. She’d either think some perv had broken into her home and jacked off on her towel, or she’d know it was me, which might be worse. If she said anything to Renegade, I’d get my ass stomped.
By the time I heard her moving around in the main part of the apartment, my clothes were mostly dry, so I dressed and went to get my boots and cut from her bathroom. She’d placed my cut at the foot of her bed and my boots were on the floor nearby. I just stood there a moment, looking at my cut lying on her rumpled bed. It almost looked like it belonged there, which was stupid. No fucking way I belonged in Nik’s life as anything other than her friend.
I pulled it on and put on my boots before heading out the door, with Nikki right behind me. She locked up her place, then I took her keys and unlocked her little SUV. She’d had a small car before, but when her pregnancy became known, a few of us had pitched in to help buy her something a little roomier. Well, mostly I had, but I hadn’t told her that. As far as she was concerned, it was a gift from her brother and a few club members.
It wasn’t the first time I’d taken her to an appointment, so I knew the way. I pulled into a parking space right out front of the clinic and helped Nikki out of the SUV. She walked inside and went straight to the counter while I found two empty seats next to each other.
“What do you mean I owe money?” I heard Nikki ask.
As far as I knew, she had insurance. I stood and went to check on her, hoping to keep her stress level down. Nik was dealing with enough already. I placed my hand at her lower back and stared down at the woman behind the counter. She blinked up at me, a blush suffusing her cheeks. The way she smiled and batted her eyes had me wanting to snarl. She didn’t know if Nik and I could be a thing, and she was going to flirt? I hated that shit.
“What’s the problem?” I asked.
“Ms. Adams owes money from her previous two visits. Until her account balance is paid, we can’t see her today,” the woman said in a sickly sweet voice.
“How much?” I asked.
I felt Nikki tense. I slid my hand from her back to her hip and gave it a squeeze. No way in hell I was letting her walk out of here without seeing the doctor just because she had a balance. The woman looked from me to Nik and back again.
“Well, we aren’t really supposed to disclose a patient’s details.”
I contained my growl of annoyance as I looked down at Nik. “How much, sweetheart? And don’t lie.”
Nikki pressed her lips together, but eventually the fight went out of her. It was nice to see that spark, if even for just a moment. She went on tiptoe and whispered the amount in my ear. I pressed a kiss to her temple and pulled out my wallet. Giving the bitch behind the counter my credit card, I watched as she ran it for the full balance, then I signed the slip.
I took Nik’s hand and led her over to the seats I’d found for us. When she sat, she seemed to almost curl in on herself. I didn’t let go of her hand, and rubbed my thumb across her fingers. It wasn’t the time or place, but I wanted to know why her insurance hadn’t been paying for her visits. I’d been leaving her mail in the kitchen, but now I wondered if she’d been paying her bills. Had the insurance lapsed?
“Have you thought of any names?” I asked.
She licked her lips and focused on me. “I always liked Oliver for a boy or Lacey for a girl.”
I smiled at her. “I like those names. You’ll know soon enough which one to call the baby.”
Nik pressed a hand to her belly. I could tell that she wanted to be excited, but felt guilty about it. Bane wasn’t here, and nothing would bring him back, but she seemed to think that meant she had to suffer forever. No one would think less of her if she moved on. They’d only been on a few dates, if even that, when he’d been killed. I knew some of the guys had gotten serious about someone that fast, but I didn’t think Bane and Nikki had been there yet. She was loyal to a fault, though, and I knew she hated that she’d survived and he hadn’t. We’d talked about it some, when she wasn’t practically catatonic. She didn’t outright say she’d felt anything for him, but I could tell she did carry a large amount of guilt, and seemed traumatized by the way he’d died.
Even more proof that she wasn’t cut out to be an ol’ lady. She wasn’t tough enough, but God did I love her. I liked how soft and sweet she was. It would take someone like her to temper my hard edges, but my world would swallow her up and spit her out.
“Nikki Adams,” a nurse called out from a side door.
Nikki stood, then tugged on my hand. My heart thumped hard. She wanted me back there? I’d never gone back before. In fact, I usually ran a few errands while she was here, but she’d seemed off today so I’d stayed. I was glad I had, or she might not have been seen at all.
“Just lie down on the table. The tech will be in momentarily,” the nurse said as she showed us into a room. “You can just lift your shirt for this one, as long as you can tug your pants down a bit.”
Nik nodded and I helped her onto the padded table. She stretched out and put her head on the little paper-covered pillow. I noticed her hands were trembling and I stood next to her, running my fingers up and down her arm before brushing her hair back from her face. “It’s going to be fine, Nik. You’ll see. Aren’t you excited about seeing the baby?”
“Are you?” she asked.
I couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, I am.”
The technician bustled into the room, grinning. “All right, Mom and Dad. Let’s see if the little one will cooperate.”
My chest grew tight and I waited for Nik to correct her, but she never did. I looked at her rounded belly and placed my hand there while the tech got everything ready. The kid in there might not be mine, but that didn’t matter. Bane had been a friend, and almost a brother, and I’d adored Nik for a while now. Didn’t mean I’d be raising the kid with her, though, not even if it was what I wanted.
Was it? I hadn’t thought about it before, hadn’t let my mind go there, but now I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Being with Nik every day, holding her at night, feeling the baby kick as she slept against me. Yeah, I’d fucking love that, but it wouldn’t happen. Not my kid, not my life. Not my old lady. But shit, if she were, I’d die a happy man. As far as my brothers were concerned, I was still happy with club pussy. I’d made sure to walk out with a girl almost every night I was at the clubhouse, but no one knew that’s all I did. Well, technically.
There was one person at the clubhouse who knew I was head over heels for a woman, and it wouldn’t take much for him to figure out it was Nik. A Prospect. Jin was willing to keep my secret. In exchange, I led the club girls outside and into the shadows, then held them down while Jin made them scream in pleasure. They got off on it and everyone went home happy. Everyone but me. My dick only got hard for Nikki these days, which sucked big-ass donkey balls because I wouldn’t be getting any from her. Rosie-Palm was the only one getting me off, and if I kept jerking my dick two or three times a day, I’d get carpal tunnel.