I couldn’t even finish my sentence before my big brother was shaking his head. “No, you aren’t going to stay here. Do you really think I’d let you stay with a womanizing asshole like this one? Fuck no! If you don’t want to stay at my place, then I’ll help you get settled somewhere else.”
Ashes looked away, but not before I saw the flash of anger and hurt in his eyes. He’d been so sweet to me, so thoughtful, and my brother was treating him poorly. I didn’t like it, but saying something would just make things worse. Renegade saw a different side of Ashes than I had. The man was single, so what did it matter if he was a bit of a man-whore? It wasn’t like the other guys at the club were any better. I knew my dear brother had been cut from that same cloth until he’d met Darby. Even Bane… No, I didn’t want to think about Bane. Not right now.
“I didn’t want to be any trouble,” I said.
“Nikki, you’re my sister. If you need help, say something. I thought you were doing fine.”
I pressed my lips together. I hadn’t been fine since he’d found me tied to that chair. Telling him that wouldn’t go over well. My brother had been in his own world and had barely given me a second thought. The few times I’d seen him, I’d held it together until he’d left. It wasn’t like he stuck around for long. Ashes had seen me at my worst the last few months. He was the only one who knew that I’d been falling apart. “Ashes has been checking on me,” I said.
Renegade cast another glare toward the man who had made sure I stayed alive, and I didn’t like it. Moving closer to my brother, I hauled back my arm and punched him in the abdomen. He didn’t even flinch, but he did growl at me. “What the fuck, Nikki?”
“That man has made sure I eat, make it to my appointments, and he’s even cleaned my damn apartment. You have no right to look at him like that.”
My brother’s face flushed and I knew he was about to erupt. I just didn’t understand why. Ashes had been so wonderful. It wasn’t like the man was interested in me that way. He just felt guilty. Who would ever want a broken woman like me? Some part of me had shattered that day. I hadn’t loved Bane. We’d barely known one another, except in the intimate sense. My heart wasn’t broken. It was more the trauma of watching him die, and knowing that I carried his son. A baby boy who would never know his daddy.
“You have a choice, Nikki,” my brother said. “You can either come with me and I’ll figure something out, or you can stay here. But if you remain in Ashes’ house, you’d better make damn certain this is where you want to be.”
My brow furrowed as I looked up at him. “What’s that mean?”
“It means his ass better claim you if you’re going to live here.”
My mouth dropped open. I couldn’t believe he’d just said that. There was no way I would ever put Ashes in that position, not after all he’d done for me. The fact my brother could even say such a thing made me angry. Who died and made him God? He might be part of the Devil’s Boneyard MC, even claim an officer’s position, but still… he wasn’t the boss of me. I shouldn’t have to answer to him.
“You know, you left me in foster care after our parents and brother died. If you didn’t get a say then over where I slept, you don’t get one now.”
He rocked back on his heels and paled a little. “Damn, Nikki. That was harsh.”
Ashes moved closer, slowly reaching for me. I felt his fingers brush my hip before he slid his arm around my waist. I trembled and pressed against him. It felt like my heart was crashing against my chest, and it was getting hard to breathe. Everything started to spin a little.
“When did you eat last?” he asked.
I shrugged a shoulder, honestly not knowing. Probably whenever he’d fed me last. I knew I needed to do better, for the sake of the baby at least. Food just hadn’t been all that appealing lately. Things were different, though. I’d seen little Oliver. He wasn’t just some random baby kicking me. Watching him on the screen had changed things. I knew I couldn’t keep wallowing. There was a kid depending on me, and I needed to make sure he had a place to live and got the nutrients he needed as long as he was in my belly.
Renegade eyed us. “You’ve really been taking care of my sister all this time?”
“Yeah, I have,” Ashes said. “You had your hands full and I was happy to help her. She doesn’t always remember to eat, or when her appointments are. I’ve been making sure she has food in the kitchen and eats something while I’m there.”
Renegade blew out a breath and ran a hand through his hair. “Shit. I don’t like this. Not one fucking bit.”
I didn’t want to stress him out, not after everything he’d been through. I just needed him to understand that it wasn’t his decision where I stayed. Maybe I was on club property, but I was still my own person, the ruler over my own fate. “You’re my brother and I love you, but you don’t get a say in my life. You have a pregnant woman and a kid at home who need you more than I do. Go home to them.” The room spun a little and Ashes swept me up into his arms. I clung to him, not having much choice to do anything else. “I’ll be fine here.”
He paced a moment before coming to a stop a mere foot away. Hands on his hips, he looked like he was about to argue, but he simply nodded. “All right,” he said. “But the Pres needs to approve it, and Ashes damn well knows it.”
“I’ll handle it,” Ashes said.
“See that you do.” My brother gave me one last look before walking out and slamming the front door behind him.
I sighed and pressed my cheek against Ashes. “Well, that went about as well as I’d expected it to. At least he left without tearing shit up.”
Ashes snorted. “Yeah, like my face.”
Maybe it was wrong, but I giggled. He probably should be worried about something like that. My brother had always hit first and asked questions later. Not with women, but men were fair game. I didn’t delude myself into thinking my brother was Prince Charming, but I did know he’d never abuse a woman or kid. It just wasn’t who he was, and I could tell Ashes was the same.
No one had ever been as sweet to me. Part of me just wished that he was doing it for a reason other than guilt. It hardly seemed fair that the first time a decent guy paid me attention it was because his cousin was responsible for getting me beat to hell and killing my baby daddy. Maybe one day a man would look at me and want to keep me. I’d read enough fairy tales growing up that I wanted my own prince, my happily-ever-after. Didn’t matter to me if he wore leather and rode a Harley or if he dressed in suits and worked a nine-to-five job. All I cared about was how he treated me and if he loved me. My brother cared, I knew he did, but he hardly ever said the words. I craved someone’s love, but I started to worry I’d never have it, especially with a baby on the way. Yeah, my kid would hopefully love me, but it wasn’t the same thing.
“Think you can sit at the kitchen table?” he asked.
“I’m pregnant, not broken,” I said then winced because in a way I was broken. Just not in the sense that I couldn’t sit up on my own. “I’m sorry if me being here is going to cause you problems. If the club has an issue with it, I can find somewhere else to go.”