“That’s an awfully loud rumble you’ve got going on there, little girl.” I play along with her. “Wanna go grab a hot dog from that concession stand?” I ask, pointing at the vendor’s booth. I asked that we have at least one opened and at our disposal. The one that was chosen for us, has hot dogs, chips, sodas, juice and dipping dots ice cream. I wanted to keep the options small, easy to eat, with as little clean up as possible.
I’m still new at this whole ‘daddy’ thing. I don’t want to take Hadley home a mess. I don’t have any experience with bathing a little girl by myself, without guidance, and I’m not sure if it’s appropriate for me to be giving her one. That’s something I need to ask Jacey about later.
“I love hot doggies!” She claps her hands together, accidently dropping Annabelle. “Yours turn to hold her, kay, Daddy?” She looks up at me and I see the high expectation plastered on her face.
Bending down on my knees, I get eye level with my daughter. “Hadley, when we agreed to bring Annabelle with us, you promised that you were going to be the one taking care of her. If you go back on your word, Annabelle won’t be allowed to go anywhere with us anymore.”
“But I’s can’t eat with her in my hands, Daddy, she’ll get all’s dirty.” My girl, the smart little shit that she is, debates with me.
“I can’t eat with her in my hands either.” Why in the hell am I arguing back with a toddler? Her lip begins to wobble as tears form in her eyes. I can’t take it. Women’s tears break my heart, Hadley’s tears rip me to shreds. “I’ll set her next to me while we eat, then you can hold her again. Okay?”
“Okay’s, Daddy.” She perks up and her tears dry instantly. Did I just get played by someone who barely touches my kneecaps standing tall? Damn she’s good. I may need to take some lessons from her.
Three hours later and I’m ready to pull my hair out by the roots. Why the fuck didn’t I listen to Jacey and all her motherly wisdom? I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to not give Hadley her way when the crocodile tears start, but I have learned my lesson where it pertains to Annabelle. I still have her clutched in my hand while I chase Hadley as she rushes up to each animal in anticipation of feeding them and petting them.
As we leave the last round of animals, she reaches up and grabs my hand in her small one. “This has been the bestest day of my life, Daddy.” And just like that, all the chasing I’ve had to do, holding a damn doll for the better half of the day, it all vanishes with those few words.
“That makes me happy, Hadley.”
“Loves you, Daddy.”
And just like that, every bit of anger I’ve been harboring, all the heartbreak that Jacey put me through, all the bitterness I’ve spewed from my tongue and held in my thoughts dissipates.
Just gone.
My heart is lighter as well as my steps as we make our way to my truck.
“I love you too, Hadley.”
We make it home in record time. There was no traffic to fight and Hadley’s soft snores from the back seat have lulled me into a peaceful state of existence. I’ve been more myself and feeling alive since Jacey has come back into my life—Hadley is the icing on the cake. For the first time in years, my feet feel firmly planted on the ground. No more floating through life for me, I’m living, feeling and am all around content.
When we pull into the driveway, a moan leaves my mouth. I know that car, I purchased it as a gift for my mother. I bet that all four of the parents drove here together. How the hell did they get here so quickly? Since I don’t see Jacey’s car in the driveway, I back out and drive further down the road. Picking up my phone, I dial Jacey’s number.
“I’m wrapping things up now, Rayne,” she answers.
“Well, hello to you too, and you may wanna get your ass in gear,” I tell her.
“Is Hadley okay?” The worry in her voice makes me feel like a complete asshole. Of course, she’d go down that particular train of thought. What mother wouldn’t?
“She’s good, sleeping, but uh… you have company at your house and I didn’t think you’d want me going in with Hadley on my own. By the way, how did they get inside of your house if you’re still at work?” Isn’t that the million-dollar question of the hour.
“Ugh,” she huffs out. “I have a hidden key, and my mom would know where to look. I’ll be there in ten,” she says, disconnecting the call.
“Be safe,” I say into the air. I’m worried that she’s gonna be paralyzed in fear and make a mistake behind the wheel. I should’ve just gone and picked her up my damn self. What the hell was I thinking? I bang the phone onto my forehead as I internally admonish myself. I know how she overreacts and analyzes everything. She’ll be all kinds of worked up when she finally makes it home.
Jacey
Well, that didn’t take them long. They must’ve hit the road within the hour after talking to Rayne and me. I was hoping for a couple of days to prepare myself for the onslaught of our parents. They’re like a damn wrecking ball. They come charging in and taking out anything in their way to get what they want the most… and this mission is getting to Hadley. One hundred percent, no doubts about it.
My office is literally around the corner and down the bend from my house, so it takes me no time at all to pull down my street. A smirk forms on my face when I see Rayne’s truck sitting down the road from my home.
I’m not going to lie, it’s a great feeling to know that he waited on me before introducing Hadley to our folks. It also helps me to face the firing squad knowing that he’ll be by my side. I haven’t experienced all four of their ire aimed at me before, so I’m hesitant and a little petrified to come face-to-face with them after what I’ve done.
There is no greater sin than keeping one from their grandchild. It’s going to take a lot of groveling on my part to get them to come around. Even then, I’ve most likely broken that circle of trust and will have to slowly gain it again. But it’s work I need to put an effort into, this is all on me. I owe them the hurdles I’ll leap over and the hoops I’ll jump through to show them how sorry I truly am.
In my rearview mirror, I notice Rayne turning around and following me to the house. When he called me, I feared I’d hyperventilate and have an anxiety attack, but the knowledge that he’d be by my side helped me compose myself. I won’t say I breathed easily, but it made it a tad bit easier to put one foot in front of the other and get into my car.
He pulls into the driveway right behind my car. I take in a few breaths before exiting and rushing over to get Hadley in my arms. I need the comfort of her to get through this. Rayne pulls her out of her seat before handing her over to me. I pull her sleeping head into the crook of my neck before placing a kiss on her head. She doesn’t move which tells me she had a very active day.
“She passed out shortly after we left,” he tells me.
“Yeah, but who’s more wiped out, her or you?” I ask, raising my eyebrows at him in question.
“That is yet to be determined,” he informs me, swinging his eyes toward the house. “We can’t put this off too long or they’ll come swarming out of the house. You ready for this?”