“Of course, I do, which is why we have to break up.”
“That’s the reason why we won’t break up.”
Girl, he loves us, he ain’t going nowhere.
That voice sounded different. It’s not Neve’s, or AJ’s. “Who are you?”
I’m Kate.
“Kate?”
“Who’s Kate?” Dylan asks.
I hold a finger up to Dylan. “Are you new?”
She giggles. No, silly. I’ve been here since AJ.
“Can you do me a favor please?”
Sure, anything I can do to help.
“Can we talk later? I need to get through everything Neve told me about.”
I can come back.
“Before you go. It’s just the three of you, right?”
You really are silly. Nope, it’s the four of us. Including you.
“It’s a lot to handle, but okay. I’ll see you soon?” Even saying that aloud sounds stupid.
Bye.
I look at Dylan, and he’s staring at me like I’ve grown three heads. “I know, it’s a lot.”
“It’s amazing. And I’m looking forward to meeting all of you.”
Is he serious? “You don’t think I’m crazy?”
He shakes his head. “I think you’re incredibly smart. And I think if you have these voices inside you, there’s a reason why. I also think we all need to be on the same page, and figure out exactly what’s happening. And we need to go to the police about what happened to you. In order to have a future, we need to confront the past.”
He links our hands together, and leads me down the staircase toward the back of the house where the kitchen and dining room is. Sitting at the table, Mom and Dad are already drinking cups of coffee.
Dylan walks over to the fridge, pours me a glass of cold water, and gets ingredients out to make a sandwich.
I look at all the paperwork on the table, and my heart lurches as I see Tina’s name across it. It’s paperwork from the funeral home.
My parents are talking between themselves, and I’m staring at a photo of Tina from when we went on vacation. She’s wearing a large, oversized straw hat, and is holding up a mocktail, smiling at the camera in her bikini. The sun reflects off the crystal-clear blue pool behind her.
I pick the photo up, and run my thumb over Tina’s happy face. “Remember how she snuck a bottle of whiskey, drunk it all and was throwing up for two days after that?” I say with a smile.
“She had vomit in her hair,” Mom says and rolls her eyes.
Dad chuckles.
“She was so drunk. She sat at the bottom of the shower, trying to sober up so you wouldn’t find out. She made me promise not to tell you,” I say.
“Because obviously, we wouldn’t have known.” Mom laughs.
“She tried to blame it on food poisoning,” I say.
“Yes. That stench of drinking hard alcohol for hours wasn’t conspicuous or anything,” Dad chuckles. “We knew what she was doing. And we let her do it.”
“Why?” I ask.
“Because she drank herself into oblivion. And we knew she’d feel so sick for days and we were hoping it would teach her a lesson.”
“It did. She hates whiskey now,” I say. The smile on my face quickly disappears as I correct myself. “She hated whiskey.”
The mood quickly swings to somber, my heart feeling the sharp pang of loss. I hate not having her here. Not talking to her. Tina would’ve told me how lucky I am that I have these other personalities living inside. She would’ve seen the light side of it, and made me feel something other than shame and embarrassment.
I have to push on, for my parents.
For Dylan.
But especially for Tina.
Her life was horrifically ripped away from us, and I have to preserve the good.
I take several deep breaths trying to calm my nerves.
“You need to eat,” Dylan says as he places a sandwich in front of me.
I nod. I do. I feel like I’ve barely had anything to eat or drink for a long time.
“You’re all right. I need to go to the police. But first, I have to talk to Amelia.”
“She’s coming first thing tomorrow. She’ll be here at seven, before she goes to work,” Mom says.
“Good. We all need to talk to her.” I tap my temple. “Neve especially.”
Mom, Dad, and Dylan all look to each other, unsure on how to respond. This is unchartered territory for all of us. Hell, if it wasn’t happening to me, I’d say I was crazy too.
I pick the sandwich up, and nibble.
I must move forward.
I feel better this morning. Calmer. Although tomorrow is Tina’s funeral, and I know that’s going to trigger strong emotions inside of me. I’m hoping Amelia can be there for me. I’m not sure how much strength I’ll have seeing my sister in her coffin. I think I’m going to crumble.
I’ve had a shower, and a light breakfast, and now we’re waiting for Amelia.
Dylan said he’d like to be here too, but he’s spent too much time here, and I’m afraid he’s on dangerous ground at work. I don’t want him losing his job because of me. Although he assures me, with his skillset, he’d be headhunted before they even had a chance to say, ‘you’ve been fired.’ But I don’t want the guilt of that hanging over me too. So he agreed to go to work today, and take a day for the funeral tomorrow.
“How are you?” Mom asks as she walks into the kitchen and sees Zhen and me sitting at the dining table, looking outside.
“Tired, but not as bad as yesterday. Where’s Dad?”
“He had some things to do at work. He’ll be back soon. He wanted to be here when Amelia arrives.”
“I’m nervous,” I say.
“Why?”
“Everything happening in here, it’s not normal.” I tap on my head, then lower my hand in search of Zhen.
“Normal is such a difficult word, Molly. I don’t want to say, ‘no, it’s not normal,’ because in reality, this is how your life is going to be. We all have to accept it. Especially you, because you’re the one who has to live with it.”
“I tried to break up with Dylan. It’s the kindest thing I can do for him.”
“Because you can’t see a future with him?”
“It’s not that.” I let out a long sigh. “How can he be with someone like me?”
“Like you? You’re not an alien, honey. You have alters. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, or embarrassed about.” She makes her coffee, and comes to sit opposite me. Zhen moves his butt closer to me.
“How do I explain this to people?”
“You don’t owe anything to anyone. If you want to tell them, tell them. If you don’t, then don’t. The only people who matter are the ones you care about. Who cares what others think? You’ve never really been one who’s hung up on others’ opinions.”
“But this is different. This is potentially life-changing.”
“It is life-changing. But only to you, and to Dylan. I don’t give a damn if you have ten alters, or none. You’re my daughter, and I’ll love you forever.”
“But…”