“It was pretty fucking hilarious.” She’d serenaded a bunch of old men and me with an out of tune rendition of Stand By Your Man, it was depressingly fitting.
“Yeah, maybe. Although after last night, I might just hole up at the apartment and chill.”
“I can bring pizza and a six pack, if you want company?” Her eyes glittered with something... something I wasn’t sure I wanted to acknowledge.
She was Declan’s girl, completely off-limits. But Vic made it easy. She made all the background noise disappear. And maybe fucking her would temper some of the rage festering inside me. Declan and my parents had taken so much from me, maybe it was my turn to take something from them.
Something caught my eye.
Calli.
She and Josie were leaving.
“Zach?” Victoria’s voice yanked me from my thoughts.
“Sorry.”
“Are you okay, really?” Her expression fell.
“I’m good.”
Because what other choice was there?
When we left Muds, Victoria headed for the gym, and I headed home. But just as I was walking past the Delta Pi frat house, I saw her again.
Calli.
It was like the universe was determined to fuck with me. I didn’t want to snoop, and I didn’t want to be caught watching Calli and her brother argue, but I couldn’t stop myself. She was all up in his face, wagging her finger and pinning him with a hard look. Callum looked as awkward as fuck, standing there as rigid as a post while his sister chewed him out. But when he finally spoke, Calli cried out. She actually let out a cry of frustration.
And my dick... my dick stirred to life.
How fucking poetic.
My dick could no longer distinguish a cry of pleasure from a cry of anger.
Or maybe you just want to hurt her.
That was a given.
Calli stormed off and Callum stood there, dragging a hand down his face.
“Problem?” I finally revealed myself.
“Fuck,” he hissed. “How much of that did you hear?”
“Apart from Calli’s nice vocals at the end there... nothing.”
“She’s pissed at me.”
“When isn’t she?”
“True.” Callum gave me a strained smile. We weren’t friends. Teammates, maybe, but never friends. He was best friends with my brother though, the two of them riding the highs and lows of life at SU together before Declan’s accident, before I arrived here.
“You never said she was enrolling here.” I regretted the words the second they were out of my mouth. Callum’s eyes narrowed with suspicion.
“Didn’t know it mattered,” he said, coolly.
“It doesn’t.” My shoulders lifted in a dismissive shrug. “But she seemed pretty shocked to see me last night.”
“Last night?”
“Yeah, at the party. She turned up with Joel’s sister.” Callum hadn’t been there. He’d retreated into himself after Declan’s accident, and the guys were giving him some space.
“She’s friends with Josie?” he groaned. “Fuck, that’s all I need.”
“So that was the plan, huh? Dodge her for the entire year?”
“Something like that. She hates basketball. There was no reason for our paths to ever cross.”
“Dude, you’re her brother.” And this was SU, a basketball college.
“Yeah, and she hates me for it.” Callum’s eyes flicked over in the direction of where Calli had disappeared.
“Whatever. I didn’t come over for a trip down memory lane.”
“So why did you come over?” His brow lifted.
“You know what, Cal, fuck you. I’ve tried to be a decent human and—”
“Yeah,” he exhaled a long breath, “I know. I’m sorry, okay? I guess I’m just feeling it. It’s senior year, and Declan is...” He swallowed hard. “And I’ve got my old man breathing down my neck about what happens after graduation. It’s a lot.”
“You don’t need to tell me,” I ground out. I wasn’t a senior, but I easily outmatched him where over-involved parents were concerned.
“Shit, yeah. I’m sorry. How is... everything?”
“How do you think?”
Tension swirled around us, thick and heavy with the ghosts of our past and the nightmares of our present.
I’d lost my brother.
He’d lost his best friend.
But I knew it meant something different for him, something more. Because me and Declan might have shared DNA, but we’d never been particularly close.
“Have you been to see him recently?” I asked.
“I can’t...” He scrubbed his face. “Makes me a pussy, right?”
“Nah, I get it.” Understanding passed between us. “I should probably...”
“Yeah. I guess I’ll see you when practice starts. Oh, and Zach...”
“Yeah?”
“People are starting to talk about you and Vic.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“Whoa,” his hands went up. “Don’t shoot the messenger. I get it, I do. But just be careful, yeah?”
A fresh wave of irritation skittered up my spine as I walked away from Callum. I couldn’t win. Nothing I did or said would ever go unnoticed because that’s what being a Messiah meant. But being the Messiah replacement only made everything ten times worse. People would compare me, constantly hold me to Declan’s standards.
Victoria was the only person who didn’t do that.
Part of me knew Callum meant well, that he was only trying to do the right thing for the team. But the other part, the part so sick and fucking tired of people trying to manipulate my life, couldn’t help but think he was doing it to be cruel. To take away the one thing that made any sense in all of this.
By the time I spilled onto the sidewalk just beyond the campus, I finally felt like I could breathe again. In there, everything was about basketball, about being the best, and going all the way. It was about upholding the Messiah legacy of greatness. In there, I wasn’t Zachary Messiah. I was a pawn, an actor... a body snatcher.
But out here, I was just a guy trying to make sense of things. Out here, I didn’t have to worry about keeping up appearances.
Out here, I could let myself break.
“You look like shit.” Vic pursed her lips.
“Hello, to you too.” I leaned against the door and quirked a brow.
“I know you said you didn’t feel up to hanging out, but I brought pizza and beer.”
“Vic, it’s late.”
“I know, I know... but I could really use the company.”
“Couldn’t sleep?” I knew she had nightmares. She’d told me about them once, when she was drunk on sickly sweet shooters.
“I tried to turn over and go back to sleep, Zach, I did, but....”
“Come on.” I stepped aside to let her enter, my stomach growling as the smell of tomato and garlic hit my senses.
“I got your favorite.” She placed the box down on the kitchen counter.
“Extra sausage?”
“Extra sausage.”
We worked seamlessly together, her getting plates and napkins while I cracked open two beers and joined her on the couch. “Want to talk about it?”