“Nope.” Vic helped herself to a slice of pizza and took a big bite. “See what’s on the TV,” she mumbled.
I grabbed the remote and began flicking, settling on some action movie.
“Oh, good choice. I like this one, the guy is a snack.”
“A snack?” I snorted.
“Yeah, you know, he’s tasty.”
“I know what a snack is, Vic. I just don’t think I’ve ever heard you say it.”
“I miss sex,” she blurted out, slapping a hand over her mouth. “Oh God,” it came out garbled.
“Relax,” I chuckled. “It’s been what... five months?”
“Five months, three weeks, and six days.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, because what the hell was I supposed to say in this situation?
“Yeah, me too.”
“You can still get yourself off, right?”
“Zach!” Her cheeks burned.
“It’s just sex, Vic. We all do it.” Not as much as I liked right now, but it wasn’t for lack of offers.
“I have options... yes.” And by options, I hoped she meant a battery-operated toy. “But it isn’t the same. I miss the intimacy. I miss feeling a guy’s lips on my skin. I miss kissing... God, I miss kissing.” Sadness filled her eyes and I braced myself for the tears. It didn’t happen a lot anymore, but she still had her moments. Usually when a bottle of vodka was involved.
“You don’t have to stay with him, Vic. You know that, right? The likelihood is he’ll never—”
“Don’t, please. Just don’t.” Her eyes shuttered and the first tear fell.
I took the pizza box from her lap and placed it on the coffee table, pulling her into my side. “You’re a good person, Vic.”
Her arm went around my waist, but fell short, her hand splaying on my stomach.
“Vic,” I warned. This was dangerous. Her tight little body pressed against mine, her fingers stroking precariously close to my dick.
“Don’t you want to feel something, Zach? Something beside the constant anger and frustration and pain?” She gazed up at me with big, sad eyes.
“And tomorrow when everything looks a little brighter? What then, Vic?”
Her lip wobbled. “It can be our secret.”
Because that’s what I was worth to her.
A dirty little secret.
My spine went rigid as I snagged her wrist, moving it away from my stomach. “We should watch the movie.”
“Y- yeah.” She sat up and put some space between us. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”
“It’s all good.” I gave her a tight smile. “Besides, I don’t really blame you. I am quite the snack.”
“Jerk.”
Some of the tension seeped away as I smirked, and our strained laughter filled the room. Just like that we forgot all about the moment my brother’s girl tried to seduce me.
And I tried to tell myself, I hadn’t almost let her.
Vic stayed. I didn’t have a guest room and I’d offered to take the couch, but she promised to keep her hands to herself. So here we were, in my bed. It wasn’t the first time she’d stayed over, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. Victoria was in Chi Delta Kappa. Their house was always loud and busy. I understood her need for some quiet.
She snored gently, curled in a ball, facing away from me, as I lay on my back, with one arm tucked behind my head, staring up at the ceiling. It would have been so easy to fuck her. To sink deep inside her and let sex carry us away to another place. But she was Declan’s. He’d been there first. No matter how much I wanted to get back at him, at my parents, it was pretty sick by anyone’s standards.
I wasn’t just anyone though.
I harbored a darkness inside me that sometimes scared me. Usually, I kept it in check. I had to. But sometimes, it pushed to the surface... like when I’d seen Calli at the party and again at Muds.
There had been another time too. A time that I gave in and let it consume me.
Did she remember?
Did she remember how it had felt when I’d fucked her against that wall in the abandoned house?
It had been last Halloween, and I’d returned to Bay View with Mom to see her cousin’s new baby. There had been a party and a couple of my old friends from school had talked me into going. I hadn’t expected to see Calli, but the second I did, I knew I couldn’t just walk away.
“I want my camera back.” Calli said from behind me. I turned slightly, fixing my eyes on her.
“Maybe I don’t want to give it back, maybe I want to negotiate.” I took another photo, the flash lighting up the dark space.
“I won’t play your games,” she seethed.
But the fire in her eyes betrayed her.
“So I didn’t hear your breath hitch when I touched you?” I stalked closer. “I didn’t see lust glitter in your eyes? I didn’t feel you fisting my t-shirt, pulling me closer?”
We were almost touching, Calli’s tight little body right there pressed close to mine. I smirked, holding my camera, taking snap after snap of her. Wide eyed and flushed, she looked so fucking beautiful, and I hated it.
Click, click, click.
“You still look at me with stars in your eyes,” I said quietly, hating the way the words twisted my insides. “Even after what I did to you. Even after what you did to me.”
“What—” Her words died as my hand glided up the side of her neck. A shudder rolled through her, but she wasn’t scared. She was turned on. I felt her arousal ripple in the air.
“Was it all a lie?” she whispered into the darkness, her voice wobbling. “Did you ever lo—” Her expression steeled as she swallowed the L word. “Did you ever care about me?”
“Does it matter?” My fingers moved to her cheek, stroking the skin there.
“No,” she whispered, tears pooled in the corners of her eyes, “I guess it doesn’t.”
Leaning down, I brushed my lips over hers, but she pressed them together, refusing to let me in. “Open up, sweet pea.” The words rumbled in my chest. “Let me taste you. I really fucking need to taste you.”
Calli hesitated, a shudder rolling through her.
“Calliope, please give me this.”
I was begging. Fuck, why was I begging?
But I needed her. I needed her in a way I couldn’t explain.
I saw the second she gave in. Her breath caught slightly, and her eyes burned with liquid lust.
“Good girl.” I dived for her, plunging my tongue deep into her mouth.
“Zach,” she whispered as I backed her up against the wall, kissing her like I was a man starved. The camera went off again as I captured the moment Calliope James fell from grace.
She pulled me closer. “One night,” she breathed. “You get one night.”
As if it could ever be anything more. This was madness, letting her back in. Giving a piece of myself to the girl who had ruined me. But I had to have her. One more time, I had to feel her.
“I need to feel you, now, Calli.” My fingers clawed at her thigh, but the camera was making things difficult. Pulling away, I bent down and placed it on the floor. It was enough to break the spell and when my eyes found hers again, I almost growled. She looked so fucking good… so innocent and pure.