My heart begins to race, and my chest aches. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“She begged us not to. Nicole, Danni, and I listened to her, and she explained that she wanted us to help her. So, the three of us have letters—” Kristin’s voice cracks as a tear falls. I want to jump her and find the letter from my sister, but I restrain myself. She clears her throat and continues, “We have letters for you. Brody has one, too, I believe. I’m supposed to be the strong one, so I got today. Clearly, they all misjudged me.” She wipes her face before letting out a nervous laugh and pulling an envelope from her purse. “She asked that you read it after her service.”
“Have you read it?” My voice trembles as I take it from her.
“No, it’s for you, honey. Do you want me to stay?”
Kristin is one of my best friends, she knows me inside and out, but it’s not my girls that I want right now. It’s really astounding how when I gave my heart completely over to Eli, he became so essential to me, and I want to sit next to him as I read this.
“Would you be angry if I said I wanted Eli . . .”
“Don’t even finish that thought.” Kristin gets to her feet. “I would never be upset. I’ll go get him.” She kisses my cheek and walks out.
I stare at the envelope with my name on the front, and my stomach is filled with knots. I feel Eli’s presence as he enters the room.
“Kristin told me before she came in.” The sound of his voice eases a little of the fear. “You want me in here?”
“I do.”
He sits beside me, and I place my hand on his leg. I feel tethered to Earth around him. I need him to anchor me so I don’t drift into the pain of whatever I’m about to read.
My finger slides under the glue, separating the flap to reveal a single piece of paper folded inside. I let out a deep sigh and pull it open.
My Sister who became my Mother . . . my Mister,
If you have this letter, I’m dead. Don’t cry. Although, I have a feeling my asking that is like telling the sky to be yellow. You were always so dramatic, even when we were kids. You should stop that. We all knew this was going to happen, and I know you won’t understand this, but I’m glad it’s over. I have no idea how long it’ll be after I’ve written this until it’s in your hands, but know that I was ready. I was ready not to be a burden on you anymore. I was ready not to be in pain. Mostly, I was ready to be free.
You never let me be broken after Mom and Dad were taken from us. You were the rock. It couldn’t have been easy to become my parent. Especially when I was going through that goth phase, which I still think I rocked. However, I never worried if you’d be there. The day I got my diagnosis, I lost my life, and so did you. We went from being in this relationship where I hated you for telling me I couldn’t go on a date with Tyler Bradley—who, by the way, was not a bad guy for smoking—to having to worry about painkillers. Our Saturday nights weren’t movies and popcorn; they were tremors and numbness. I hated watching you go from being happy and married to divorced and depressed.
You can try to convince yourself that you didn’t care, but no one is that selfless. And if you truly believe my disease didn’t rob you of anything, then I’ll tell God you should be the next Saint. Although, I’m sure he knows about the time you had sex with Vincent in Mom and Dad’s bed. Yeah, I totally heard you . . . gross.
My point to this letter is that you’re free as well. You don’t have to worry anymore. I know that you’ll think I’m being stupid and I can hear you saying how you don’t want to be free, but I do. I want you to be free. I want you to go out with your friends and have one-night stands, because I can’t. I want you to find someone who isn’t a loser and wants you to be a Stepford wife.
I want you to know this above anything else. You were the best Mister anyone could ever have. You are the only thing I will miss when I’m gone. On a side note, don’t think I don’t plan to haunt you. I’m going to be an awesome ghost. I figure it’ll be like that movie you made me watch where Whoopi teaches the ghost guy how to move objects. So, when the remote goes flying because you’re watching that awful cop show, you know it’s me telling you to find something better to watch.
I’m going to stop rambling, but seriously, I love you so much. Thank you for being my Mister and not Momster.
So, in order to ensure you live your life after I’m gone, there are three more letters. I figured Kristin was the weakest link in your group, so she got the first one . . . the next you’ll get on your wedding day. Because you need to find love again. You need to have someone who will take care of you for a change. Go find him so you can hear from me again! I promise, it’s a good one!
I love you always and forever.
Stephanie
I fold the letter back with a mix of tears and a smile. It would be just like my sister to leave me on a cliffhanger so I’d do what she wanted.
I look at Eli, who’s studying me closely. “She was always such a ballbuster, it’s good to know even in death she kept that about her.”
“What did she say?”
I laugh, thinking about the one thing she wrote about him. “She thinks your show is crap and doesn’t want me to watch it.”
He laughs and tugs me against his side. “Yeah, she mentioned that I needed to find better acting jobs.”
Chapter 22
Heather
“Are you nervous?” he asks as we sit outside another ridiculous mansion on Sanibel Island.
“Of course I am,” I chuckle. “I’m going to meet your family!”
It’s been four days since the memorial, and while I’ve loved it being just Eli and me, I’m excited to spend some time with other people. I wish it wasn’t the first time meeting them and it wasn’t his famous brother’s family. It’s Eli’s nephew, Adriel’s birthday, so his family is having the adults over to celebrate.
“They’ll love you,” he assures me for the fifth time, and I know I can’t put this off any longer.
When we climb out of the car, a little girl comes barreling forward. “Untle Eli!” she screams as her brown curls bounce in the wind.
“Daria!” He scoops her in his arms and twirls her around. “I want you to meet someone.” He moves over to me. “This is Heather, can you say hi?”
“Hello.” She smiles sweetly.
“Hi, you are even prettier than your uncle said.”
She giggles and tucks her hands under her chin. “Untle Eli always tells me I’m going to be big trouble.”
Daria wraps her tiny arms around his neck and squeezes. “You already are trouble,” Eli says before blowing raspberries in her neck.
“You’re silly!” Her sweet laughter fills the air.
“Look who’s late again!” A woman with long brown hair, dark brown eyes, and a loving smile comes walking down the drive. From what he’s told me, I assume this is Savannah. She’s much shorter than I imagined, though.
“Look who’s busting my balls, as always,” Eli retorts.
She rolls her eyes at him and then turns to me. “Hi, I’m Savannah, I’m so glad you came.”