That doesn’t stop Chayser from coming over to the apartment every day to hang out before I have to work, and on my days off, well, we ride his motorcycle for hours on end. It’s as if it finally sank in what I’ve been telling him, I want more. I don’t think he really understood before, but now, he sees how much happier I am away from the club. I don’t think it’ll work out if I were to choose him. His life is with the club, and that will never change.
A knock on the door pulls me out of my thoughts. When I open it, Chayser’s gorgeous smile appears. “Hey!” He snakes his arm around my waist and tugs me toward his chest. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I hug him back, and his lips press against the crown of my head. “I thought we could hang out tonight, watch a movie or something.”
Pulling back, I let him inside the apartment and shut the door. “Yeah, we can do that, and I can order some food.”
“Chinese sounds good. Is Pudge here?”
Grabbing my phone off the couch, I search for the restaurant’s number. “No, she has to work late.” I order enough food for Chayser and me and some for Pudge in case she’s hungry when she gets home.
An hour later, we’re halfway through a movie I really haven’t been paying much attention to. My belly is full from all the food, and I keep sneaking glances at Chayser beside me on the couch. “Why do you keep looking at me?” He smirks, still watching the movie.
I whip my head around to glare at him. “What are you talking about? I’m not looking at you?”
His eyes meet mine, and he chuckles. “Don’t lie. You’ve been looking at me through the whole movie.” His tongue slides across his bottom lip while my heart beats a little faster than normal. “C’mere.” Chayser takes my hand in his and tugs me closer. He gets me situated to where I’m straddling his lap, and he raises his hand to run it through my dark hair. “Why were you looking at me?”
Twisting one of his long dreads between my fingers, I shrug. “I don’t know. I’ve just been thinking and wondering…I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me.”
He swallows hard. “You've been thinking and wondering what, Shug?” His voice is quiet, and his hand fists my hair at the back of my neck.
“Wondering and thinking about us. If I did give it a chance, could we make it work?” My pulse races from confessing out loud.
“We could do anything we fucking want.” My head jerks forward, his lips crash into mine. Butterflies swarm deep in my belly at the touch of his tongue against mine. Our kiss deepens, Chayser’s hands grip my ass as he pulls me impossibly closer. My hips automatically begin to move, my pussy rubs against his growing erection. I don’t know if I’m angry or elated that our clothes are keeping us from making a decision that could potentially change everything.
My phone begins to ring beside us. Breaking from the kiss, I’m breathless as I answer, “Hello?”
“Shug, it’s Hanger.”
“Hanger.” His name sticks in my throat. Why is he calling me? Chayser sits up straighter with me still in his lap.
“I need you to get to the club now.”
“What? Why?”
“Don’t ask questions. Just get your ass here now!” He disconnects before I can get another word in.
I jump off Chayser’s lap and rush around to find my keys. “We gotta go to the club.”
“Why? What’s going on?” Chayser slowly stands. “What are you looking for?”
“My keys. I don’t know why. Hanger wouldn’t tell me, but if he’s calling, it’s something important.” Unlike when I wouldn’t answer his calls after I shot Ghost, I didn’t do anything this time. It has to be something important for him to need me there. I could tell by the tone of his voice something is wrong.
“You can ride with me.”
“No.” I shake my head. “I’m taking my car.” I finally find them stuffed into one of the cushions of the couch. Running out of the apartment, I race down the stairs and jump into my car.
I push through the door of the clubhouse and immediately stop. I’m frozen. “What are you doing here?” Anger, resentment, rage begin to surface inside of me.
“I came to see you, baby.” She steps toward me and reaches up to touch my face.
“Don’t touch me,” I seethe through my clenched teeth, jerking away from her. “Hanger!” I shout. When I see him, I demand, “Why did you call me here?”
“Because what happens is your decision.”
Tears well in my eyes, and I press my lips together.
“Don’t you want to see your mom?” she questions with a look of confusion.
Rounding on her, I clench my hands into fists. “Seven years! Seven fucking years since I’ve seen you. You left me here to fend for myself when I was fifteen!” I yell at her.
She scratches at her arms. “I knew you were in good hands.”
“Good hands?” My head rears back as if she slapped me. “You stole money from them and left me to fucking clean up the mess up! Oh yeah, I was left in good hands, alright. They took real good care of me until it was my time to pay it back.”
“Shug, the fuck you talkin’ about?” Hanger’s eyes widen as if he’s surprised.
I angrily wipe away tears rolling down my cheeks. “That was the deal, Hanger. Bulk said I could stay here, and he would put me through college, but nothing came free. He said once I turned eighteen, it would be time to pay my dues. I told him that I would pay back every dime I owed plus her fucking debt, too, but he said my money wasn’t good. He had enough money. He said I was such a pretty girl that all the men would love me…just like my own mother told me when I was a kid.”
“Fucking Christ, Shug!” Hanger runs his hand over his short dark hair. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“Because, Hanger, as far as you knew, he was your father and the greatest man you ever knew.”
He shakes his head. “All this time, after I took over as president, you thought you had to keep the deal, and I thought I was doing what was right. You never had to pay back a goddamn thing, Shug. Fuck!”
My attention refocuses on my mother. “Why did you really show up?” It’s sad seeing the effects of her drug use. She’s too thin, and her cheeks are sunken in. Her teeth are completely gone, and she can’t seem to stand still.
Her head tilts to the side. “I wanted to see you.”
“Bullshit! You look like a fucking junkie, so what do you want? Money? You thought after you stole from this club, you could come back and all would be forgiven, or they wouldn’t remember?”
“Since you mentioned it…”
I laugh humorlessly. “You didn’t come to see me. You came to try and get what you could from me.”
“What’s it gonna be, Shug?” Hanger asks, and my glare cuts to him.
“I don’t want to make that decision, Hanger.” My stomach rolls with unease. Her fate can’t lie in my hands. I can’t have that on my conscience. “You decide. I can’t.” I shake my head frantically. Hanger nods as if he understands.
His eyes stare into mine, devoid of any emotion. “We’ll make it look like an accident.”