It was like no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t separate the two.
“I was going to do it, you know? I was going to accept a place at Cleveland. I want you to know that, Asher. I want you to know I was going to choose you.” Mya pushed damp curls from her eyes and sucked in a harsh breath. “I really hope your mom makes a full recovery. Goodbye, Asher.”
I should have gone after her. I should have told her that we could figure things out, that I just needed time to get my head around everything that had happened.
But I didn’t.
I took the coward’s way out.
I stood there as Mya walked away from me for the last time, my heart breaking all over again.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Mya
“Oh my god, did you hear? Asher’s mom finally woke up.” Kellie Ginly locked eyes on me as I tried to give her and her friends a wide berth, her mouth curving deviously. “He called to tell me last night.”
I faltered for a second. He’d called her? But I quickly pushed aside the hurt. It wasn’t the important titbit of information I’d overheard. Mrs. Bennet was awake and that was all that mattered.
“That’s amazing, I bet he’s so relieved.” Her friends quickly burst into questions.
How is he?
What is the long-term damage?
Is he coming back to school soon?
I hitched my backpack up my shoulder and carried on down the hall. Three weeks had passed since that day in the hospital when Asher let me walk away. I hadn’t gone with the intention of ending things between us, but the second Mr. Bennet saw me standing there, I knew I had to let Asher go. I’d already caused enough pain and heartache for his family without making things worse.
The closure had been a good thing. News spread quickly that I was no longer Asher’s girl and within a few days people’s interest in me simmered. There were still the whispers and stares, but it was nothing I wasn’t used to. I filled my days with class and my new part-time job stacking shelves at the Seven-Eleven where my aunt worked. Felicity and Hailee remained loyal in their friendship, but it wasn’t the same now me and Asher were no longer together.
To the outside world, I had moved on. But I didn’t anticipate getting over him anytime soon. Asher Bennet had imprinted himself on my soul in a way that I wasn’t sure I’d ever recover from. To deal, I kept my head down and my focus on college. I’d decided to accept an offer from Temple University to study social work. If growing up in Fallowfield Heights had taught me anything, it was that more help was needed in communities where young men and women felt they had no choice but to turn to gangs, drugs, and a life of crime. It felt like coming full circle somehow, and I was counting down the days until graduation.
“There you are.” Felicity found me by my locker. “I’ve been texting you.”
“I think my cell is on silent.”
She rolled her eyes. It was a common occurrence these days. “Asher called Jason earlier, his mom is—”
“Awake, I know.”
Flick’s brow pinched. “You do? Did he—”
“I overheard Kellie Ginly telling her friends.”
“Kellie… but how would she know?”
I shrugged, trading out some books. “Apparently Asher called her last night.”
“But that doesn’t make any sense. He doesn’t—”
The reverberation of my locker slamming shut cut her off. “I don’t want to talk about him.”
“But—”
“Felicity, you promised.”
“I know, I know, it’s just, she’s awake. This is a good thing.” She looked so hopeful. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that some things couldn’t be fixed. That just because Mrs. Bennet was awake didn’t mean me and Asher were going to find our way back together.
“You’re right, it is great news. I’m happy for them.” Shoving the books into my backpack, I shouldered it and took off down the hall.
“That’s it?” Flick hurried after me. “That’s all you have to say?”
“What else is there to say?”
“I don’t know. I guess I just thought…”
“Life isn’t a fairytale, Felicity. Not all stories get a happy ending.”
“But…”
I let out an exasperated breath and levelled her with a hard look. “You’re my best friend and I couldn’t have gotten through these last few weeks without you, but you need to let this go. I’ve accepted it’s over between me and Asher. You should too.”
I’d just walked through the door after a long shift at the store, when my cell phone blared to life.
“Hey, Shona,” I said, kicking off my shoes and letting the cool tiles soothe my burning soles.
“Hey, girl. How’s it goin’?”
“It’s… going. How are you? How are things back home?” After Jermaine had forced her to give up my location, Shona had felt responsible for everything that had gone down. But I didn’t blame her. I’d asked her to keep it a secret; I’d burdened her with that.
Me.
“Diaz is actin’ like it’s all business as usual, but since Jermaine’s arrest, things feel… different.”
“Keep safe, yeah?” I said.
“I will. Jesse and Leroy watch me like a hawk.”
“Leroy, huh? You got your way then?” I smirked.
“He gave in eventually.” She chuckled. “Jesse gave him a black eye for it though.”
“I’m glad you have him to look out for you.”
“Any developments with JT?”
“It’s done.” The words punched my chest. “But I found out his mom finally woke up.”
“That’s good news, right?”
“Yeah.” I couldn’t keep the pain out of my voice.
“Hey, it’s almost spring break. We should totally hit the city. Girls’ trip. It’s only weeks until graduation and then college will be calling your name and I’ll never see you.”
“Shona…”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. We can’t all be brains like you. But I’m proud of you, Mya. I’m so fucking proud you got out and made a life for yourself, even if you do live in some hick town in the ass crack of nowhere.” Her laughter soothed the ache in my chest. “I know things suck right now but soon this will all be behind you.”
“I know.” But the idea of leaving Rixon, of leaving my aunt, and the place I’d come to call home, didn’t fill me with joy. Because Asher is here, a little voice whispered. But come the summer he wouldn’t be here. He’d be in Pittsburgh, moving on with his life.
Moving on from me.
“Listen, Shon, I need to go start dinner. But I’ll call you soon.”
“You’d better,” she warned. “Laters.”
Pocketing my cell, I got up to go into the kitchen, but a knock at the door made me pause. Traipsing back into the hall, I checked the peephole before opening the door. “This is a surprise,” I said to Felicity who stood on my aunt’s porch.