“Because you sent me away,” I gasp as he stretches me wider.
“I... I need you.”
“So take me, Ash.”
His cock is pushing at my entrance in record time.
“Oh God,” I whimper as my body tries pulling him in deeper.
I shouldn’t need him this badly. It’s dangerous. And I already know it’s going to damn near kill me when it all comes crashing around my feet. Because I have no doubt it will.
24
Ashton
The second I thrust up into her, everything in my head settles and everything feels right once again.
I knew the moment her car vanished from my sight that I’d make a huge mistake sending her away.
She was my lifeline. She was the one thing that was stopping me from drowning and I’d just let her go.
Going to the factory wasn’t a conscious decision, it’s ingrained in me to go there when shit gets too hard. It’s been the place I’ve escaped to for years. Down there, no one judges, no one criticizes, everyone just lets you lose yourself in whatever poison you choose. Alcohol, drugs, pussy. Anything and everything is on offer and available at almost every hour of the day, and never have I needed to lose myself more than I did after walking away from that church and leaving Mom to rot in the ground.
The boys were already there and the second they saw me, someone shoved a bottle of vodka in my hand and I almost downed the bottle in one in my need to disappear, to drown the pain, to just make everything go away.
She was my lifeline, and she was no longer by my side. Alcohol and whatever pills someone passed me were all I had. Until Nat dropped onto my lap.
Ruby’s not wrong. Nat is a whore. She’s fucked her way around all the boys more than once, and time and time again tries to play us off against each other thinking that she means more to us than the easy fuck she is. She’s a game. One we’ve played many times over the years.
I’m too lost, too far gone to think any better of what she’s offering.
I know deep down I knew I shouldn’t. But right and wrong were a long way from my thoughts as she ground her ass down on my cock.
Only when I tipped my head back and closed my eyes, it wasn’t Nat with her blonde hair and filled lips in my mind, it was Ruby and her soft smile, her mesmerizing green eyes and sinful curves.
“Fuck, little one,” I grate out as I impale her so deep on me, I feel her cervix at the tip of my cock. “This... this right here. This is fucking it.” I pull out slowly.
“Yes,” she cries as I thrust back in, only harder this time.
“You feel that? You feel what you fucking do to me?”
“Yes, Ashton. Yes.”
My fingers dig into her hips with such force I have no doubt that I’ll leave bruises but no matter how hard I try, I can’t release my grip. I need her, this, too fucking bad to let up.
“Just me and you, little one. Just me and you.”
I drop my fingers to her clit. I circle them a couple of times, groaning as her muscles tighten around me before I pinch hard and send her crashing into her release.
She clamps down so hard, pulling me in so tight that I have no choice but to follow her over the edge.
Her name rips from my throat with a guttural roar as I fill her, mark her, claim her.
“You’re mine, Ruby. Fucking mine,” I pant into the crook of her neck as we both come down from our highs.
After a few seconds, I drop her to her feet, but I don’t release her right away, instead, I pull her lips back to mine, threading my fingers in her hair and holding her tight.
I try to put everything I’m feeling into that kiss, but I know I’ll never be able to achieve it.
Desperate for some air, I pull back, resting my head against hers, and look deep into her eyes.
“Ash—” I press my fingers to her lips, stopping whatever she was about to say.
“I’m sorry.” The words feel alien falling from my lips. The only person I’ve ever really apologized to before was Mom, and while I might not fully understand the reason for needing to say the words to Ruby right now, I know that I need to. “Let’s go home.”
She nods at me and after a beat, I release her so we can both sort out our clothing before walking back out there.
Taking her hand in mine, I lead her toward the door.
The second I pull it open and step out, almost every set of eyes turn on us.
“Oh my God,” she mutters, hiding behind me.
“No point hiding now, little one. They probably heard you screaming my name.” I can’t help the smile that twitches at my lips, no more so than when my eyes land on Axel laying on one of the couches having his wounds tended to by a couple of girls.
Axel is a prick. We might be part of the same group and I might have been doing his and his father’s dirty work for a few years but we’ll never be true friends.
A couple of the guys nod at me, not one comes over to say anything as I lead Ruby out of there. I never wanted her back here, but I know I only have myself to blame.
The second we’re outside, I pull her into me and wrap my arm around her shoulder. Neither of us say anything on the short walk back to the apartment.
I’m not sure what I would say even if I wanted to.
I’m just... empty. Totally and utterly empty.
“Are you hungry?” Ruby asks as I close the door behind us.
“Uh?” I try to remember the last time I ate anything. Yesterday, maybe. All I remember consuming is vodka and pills.
“I guess. Order takeout, whatever you want. I’m gonna...” I nod toward the bathroom and take off before she says any of the million things that I can read on her face.
She wants to know if I’m okay. If there’s anything she can do to help. But right now, I don’t have any answers for her.
I close the door behind me, turn the shower on hot and strip out of my clothes.
I stand under the scalding water hoping that it might wash the day and all of my sins off me.
Dropping my head into my hands, I think back over this morning. Of arriving at the church and seeing her in the back of the hearse surrounded by her favorite flowers, of lifting her onto my shoulder, of listening to everyone talk about what an incredible woman she was, the majority of whom didn’t even know most of her beauty.
A sob erupts from me as I think about lowering her into that hole, the place she’s going to lie forevermore.
Falling back against the tiles, the room spins around me, the lingering high from the alcohol and pills fading from my system and allowing reality to crash back in.
The thought of Nat, of touching her the way I did. Of almost doing more makes my stomach turn.
Fucking hell, I’m a mess.
I slide down the wall until my ass hits the old shower tray beneath me, now unable to hold all of it inside.
My body trembles as sobs wrack my body for everything I’ve lost and all the mistakes I’ve made. The guilt eats at me stronger than ever as I try to deal with the overload that has been today.
I have no idea how long I’ve been there when the door opens but my throat is dry and my eyes burn with the tears I’ve shed.
“Ash, are you... shit,” she gasps when I assume her eyes land on me curled up on the floor.
“I’m okay, just leave me.” The words are quiet, a whisper. I doubt she even hears them over the sound of the water.