The door closes again, and I assume she’s done as she’s told and left me to drown in my own misery, but a few seconds later I hear fabric rustling.
Dragging my head from where it was resting on my knees, I look up.
“Ruby,” I breathe, thinking I’m seeing things.
She watches me as she shimmies her panties over her hips and then takes a step forward.
She doesn’t so much as flinch as she steps under the still burning water and gently kicks my ankles. I lower my knees to allow her some space, and in a beat, she’s sitting astride my lap with my face in her small hands.
“It’s okay to fall apart, Ash,” she says softly before leaning forward and brushing her lips against mine.
I want to tell her no, that she should leave me here alone to fight with my guilt and fucked-up decisions, but the second her tongue swoops in to find mine, I lose all sense of what I should be doing and accept what she’s offering.
An escape.
My fingers slide into her wet hair, holding her to me, ensuring that she’s not about to leave as fast as she entered because right now, I know I couldn’t cope with that. My other hand trails down her back, wrapping around her slim waist and holding her to me as tight as I can.
Her kiss is so gentle, so passionate that it brings tears back to my eyes. But this time, with her here, with her wrapped around me, I don’t sink.
She keeps me above water, just like I knew she would and just like I know she shouldn’t be.
25
Ruby
I had no idea what I was going to find when I invited myself into the bathroom. But it certainly wasn’t a broken, sobbing Ashton on the floor of the shower. I thought maybe he’d passed out from the drinking and drugs, but never that he was shattering on the other side of the wall.
I probably should have walked back out and left him to it.
It’s what he deserved after what he did tonight. But that’s not who I am.
My stomach twists violently as I think about him having his hands all over her. But I understand it... I think.
People do crazy shit when they’re consumed with grief, totally overpowered by the loss they can’t understand or accept.
That’s the reason why I don’t walk out of that door. Why instead, I strip out of my clothes and join him.
I want him to see that there is more than just pain right now. While, yes, his mom might be gone. He’s not, he’s here. And she’d want him to grab life with both hands and take it on headfirst. I also have a feeling that she’d want someone beside him as he does it, and it doesn’t look to me like any of his so-called friends are interested in supporting him.
I know that guys and girls do things differently, but the thought of me going through this and my girls not being there to hold my hand damn near shreds me and it’s not even happening.
Why is he alone in this? None of it seems fair.
The second I drop onto his lap, he grabs onto me as if I’m the air he needs to breathe, and right now, I’m happy to be that for him.
I’m aware that it might be a short-lived thing, that tomorrow might flip everything on its head once more as we decide how to get back and attempt to continue with—or in Ashton’s case, restart—our lives.
We kiss for the longest time. Gone are the rough touches and vicious words from that factory and in their place are the soft caresses, the desperation from our kiss in the graveyard earlier.
“Ruby,” he moans into my kiss, his voice filled with almost disbelief that I’m here.
“It’s okay,” I say, once again taking his cheeks in my hands. “I’m right here.”
I stare down at him, our foreheads pressed together but he refuses to open his eyes.
Dropping a kiss to the end of his nose, I trail them down over his lips and across his jaw.
“Ruby,” he repeats, my name almost a plea on his lips.
I kiss down his neck, my fingers trailing down his arms and chest.
“Make it go away,” he begs.
My heart shatters for him. I want to do more but there is nothing.
Instead, my lips find his once more and my hips grind down on his length that’s been gently pressed against me for quite some time.
A moan rumbles up his throat at my movements and I do it again, a little more insistently. His grip on my hips tightens, it stings a little but I think nothing of it as he keeps encouraging me.
After a few minutes, I push up from him. His lips rip from mine and for the first time in ages, his eyes open.
Panic fills them as I assume he thinks I’m about to leave.
I shake my head at him and reach between us, wrapping my fingers around his shaft.
“Not going anywhere,” I whisper as I lift him and rub the tip through my wetness.
His eyes darken and threaten to close once more but, although hooded, they remain on me as I guide him to my entrance and slowly sink down.
Everything inside me is tender after last night, and then how he took me in the factory earlier but it’s not so bad that I want to stop. Actually, the farther I sit down on him, the easier it becomes as the pleasure takes over.
A hiss passes his lips as I sit right down taking all of him inside me.
“Ruby, you’re...” He trails off, his large hands skimming over my shoulders and up my neck until he takes my face in his hands much as I did to him not so long ago. “You’re incredible,” he breathes, his eyes widening as he says the words as if he can’t believe they just passed his lips.
“Shh,” I soothe, pressing two fingers against his lips. “No talking.”
He nods as I lift off him before sinking back down.
His head falls back against the tiles with a thud but his eyes remain on me.
I repeat my actions, holding his stare as I do so. A smile begins to pull at his lips as I continue to move, and his touch, the gentle caress of his thumbs over my hip bones, that gives me the confidence I need to keep going.
At no point do I increase the speed. Everything remains slow, as he moves his hands and begins teasing my breasts, pinching my nipples between his fingers, I grow desperate for more. But this isn’t about me.
Leaning forward once more, I take his lips on mine. He eagerly returns my kiss before pushing from the wall to shift our angle.
With both my arms and legs wrapped around him as he impales me, he’s so freaking deep. I’m so full of him that I can barely breathe. Add in my compassion for how he’s feeling, and I almost lose myself along with him.
His grip on me tightens, his kiss becoming more urgent and I know, that despite our slow pace, that he’s close.
His cock swells even harder inside me, stretching me that little bit tighter before he slips his hand between us to find my clit.
“We do this together,” he groans in my ear.
I don’t need his fingers, those words along with everything else and the feel of him inside me sends me crashing over the edge in an instant. His body vibrates with a groan as his cock jerks inside me, hot sticky cum filling me, branding me, making me his.
Tears burn my eyes at the emotion of the moment, the connection I feel to him but I refuse to let them drop. I need to be the strong one right now and I’ll be damned if I’m not going to be exactly what he needs.
I promise myself there and then, that until the sun rises, I’m his. Consequences be damned.