“I found out yesterday at the funeral, I thought we’d already had enough drama for one day. I was going to tell you once we got home.”
“Well, it’s a little late for that now, don’t you think?” he barks in a tone I have never heard him use with Mom—or with anyone before.
Stephen spins back around, pinning Ash with a look as he storms over to me.
“How could you?” he spits at his son. “I trusted you, Ashton.”
Stephen wraps his arm around my shoulders and holds me as if I’m his only child who’s bleeding out in front of him. Only, I’m not. I’m not his, Ashton is. And Ashton looks like something possessed right now as he glances between the two of us, at his dad supporting me, not him.
“I’m sorry I fucked up your precious little Ruby, Dad.”
Stephen gasps, his grip on me tightening as Ash spins on his heels and storms toward his bedroom.
“Wait,” Mom cries. “Our flight is in a couple of hours. We need to know what you’re doing, how we’re getting Stephen’s car back.”
Ashton stops, the muscles in his back tense. My heart is already racing from the events of the past few minutes but as I wait for him to say something, I realize just how badly I want him to tell our parents that we’re driving back together so we can have some more time, but deep down, I know. I knew when I first woke this morning. I knew when he turned to me before our parents arrived. This is it. It’s over.
“I’ll drive the car back, Ruby is flying with you.”
“No, wait,” I say, stepping out of Stephen’s hold and moving toward him. “I can come with you. So you’re not alone,” I say quietly just to him.
He flinches at my words, but he doesn’t turn to me, he doesn’t even look over his shoulder at me. Instead, he just breaks my heart right there in front of our parents while not even giving me the time of day.
“I don’t want you, Ruby.” Then he marches forward, slamming his bedroom door behind him.
A sob erupts but I manage to catch it in my throat.
I knew this was coming. I knew when the sun came up this morning that everything would change once again. I knew, and yet I allowed myself to think—to hope—that maybe, just maybe it wouldn’t end and that last night actually meant something to him.
But he just proved that he really is just the boy with the barbed words and vicious touch.
I suck in a deep breath through my nose and then blow it out through my mouth, trying to calm myself. No one needs me to fall apart right now.
I need to pick myself back up and move on like all is right in the world, that is until I get home and lock myself in my bedroom. All bets are off then.
“How long until we need to be at the airport?” I ask without looking back. I know that if I so much as glance at Mom right now, then I’ll break. I can already picture the soft, sympathetic look in her eyes, that’s bad enough, I don’t need to look into them.
She might not have been on board with this yesterday, actually, she’s probably happy about this right now, but I know that her concern for me will override that, right now at least.
“We need to be there in an hour ideally,” Stephen answers.
“Okay. Um... have a seat, I won’t be—”
Ashton’s door opens once more and my words vanish into thin air as I stare at him. He’s once again dressed head to toe in black, his hood is pulled high up on his head and his eyes are trained on the floor.
Even if I wanted to speak to him right now, I know that even trying would be pointless. He’s built those walls up so high, I have no chance of scaling them. Possibly ever.
“Ashton?” Stephen says, his voice full of the concern that was missing for his only child when he first walked in.
“Don’t worry, I’ll get your car back. And if you’re lucky, it might even be in one piece, unlike your precious daughter,” he spits, ripping the door open and storming through it.
The silence rings out for long seconds after he disappears.
“Right, well...” I force out through the suffocating lump in my throat. “I’d better get my stuff packed then.”
I’m in the doorway of Ash’s bedroom with my eyes locked on the floor, afraid to look up and see the bed or any of his belongings that are going to shatter the fraying grip I have on my emotions right now.
“Ruby, are you—”
“I’m fine, Mom,” I snap, really not needing to get into this right now—or ever. “There’s a coffee machine on the counter, please could you make me one?”
“S-sure, sweetie. Coming right up. Stephen?”
I don’t hear his response because I kick the door shut with my foot. I want to stop, mull over what’s just happened but I know that if I do so much as think about him then I’m going to fall apart faster than I can control. Right now, I just need to focus on what needs to be done. I need to get dressed, pack, and get to the airport. Real life is calling. Cheer is calling. Nationals are calling.
He doesn’t want me... that’s fine. I’ve got other, more important, things in my life besides Ashton freaking Fury.
26
Ashton
I knew what had to be done before I even closed my eyes last night. And knowing it was coming ripped me in two. But I couldn’t be selfish enough to keep her.
She’s already put up with more than she should have to when it comes to me. Her place isn’t here with me. It’s in Rosewood with her squad, her friends, her life.
This has just been a dream... or a fucking nightmare depending on which way you look at it.
I was up before the sunrise this morning knowing that I couldn’t be lying beside her when she woke and turned those huge green eyes on me.
I’ve let her in more than anyone, ever, and now I was going to have to pay the price.
My father’s reaction to discovering what had been going on only confirmed that it was time to pull the plug. Focusing on that, helped to brush aside the way he went to her thinking that all I was capable of doing was hurting her.
Last night was the opposite of that. The kisses, the touches, the murmured words. None of that hurt. This morning though, it’s fucking agony.
Yesterday, I said goodbye to the woman who gave me life, and this morning I feel like I might have just said goodbye to the one who might just have brought me back to life.
I walk for hours through the city, until I know they are all long gone. It’s going to be bad enough walking back into that apartment and smelling her perfume, sensing her presence, I really don’t need to see her again.
The sun is once again beginning to drop when I finally get back to the building and walk up the stairs.
I don’t want to be here, but aside from Rosewood, I literally have nowhere else in the world to go.
I push the key in the lock and step inside.
Looking around, I see them both everywhere.
Mom in the kitchen cooking, singing along to her favorite music. Ruby curled up asleep on the couch the first day we arrived.
I stumble back against the door, the memories playing out in my head like a movie as I slide down and hit the floor.
I sit there for the longest time, running through different times in my life, fond memories from years ago, some more recent with a certain little brunette but while they all might bring me some kind of comfort, they’re all agonizing at the same time. Just constant reminders of all the ways I’ve fucked up and all the things I’ve lost.