I know that’s why Emmet is so obsessed with her legacy and where his obsession originally began. I don’t know what bullshit he has told her, but that’s the true reason. That being said, I’m not sure that is still the case. The moment he suggested we share Little Zero to ensure her safety, it made me see him in a whole new light. Maybe he isn’t as unreachable as I used to think, and the scariest part? He may not deserve Luna, the only girl I’ve ever fucking loved. I used to think I loved Rachel, but now I see I was wrong on that account too. No, he doesn’t deserve her, but I think he needs her.
Am I a big enough person to step back and let him get his happy ending? To be with the one girl who will make him think about other people, and maybe even stop craving Sir’s respect and the power it can yield. I don’t know, I want to say yes, but the thought of watching him get the girl, my girl, makes me want to reach for the bottle. I can’t though, and not just because I’m driving. No, because I want to be a better guy, but I still want to have a little fun too.
Don’t worry, Luna, I’m on my way back. I’m going to tell you everything I can, and all the things I shouldn’t. If you play this right, there shouldn’t be any more secrets between us.
I walk straight up to her room, open the door, and meet her startled eyes. She drops her head, even with Thallon out of the room, she still follows his rules. Has she ever been this submissive to the rest of us? So not important right now.
“Little Zero, I’ve really missed you.” I shoot her a crooked smile as I slide the door closed, and I watch her throat bob as she swallows repeatedly.
“Don’t worry, I have Thallon’s permission. For one night only though. Turns out, we have some things we need to discuss.” I walk slowly towards her as her head snaps up, and I can see the fire returning to her eyes.
“Bradley is the Strangler, apparently.” She scoffs at the end, and I stop moving. She doesn’t believe it’s him, why not?
“Why did you say that? He confessed.” I move in front of her, and she arches her head back to meet my eyes.
“Because he was guarding my room when the first attack took place, and… well, j-j-just that.” Her eyes shoot to the side and I know she’s keeping something from me. Then again, isn’t that what I’ve been doing? And in comparison, hers can’t have anything on the shit I’ve got stored away.
“He slipped away while you were sleeping, made it back before anyone could notice he was missing. Unless you woke up that night, and saw him for yourself?”
“No, I didn’t. But why would he do it?” She pleads with me, her eyes are begging me to explain it to her, and I’m going to try.
“Care for a joint?” I pull it from behind my ear, and it floors me when she nods her head. Fair enough.
“He said he was working his way up to take out the top dogs.” I laugh humorlessly, but she doesn’t seem to get the joke. “He wanted Emmet mainly, no one wants him in charge and I guess Bradley would rather see him dead. As for us, well, Tucker and I used to pick on him when we were kids. I guess he holds grudges.” I drop down beside her, before passing the joint over.
She takes a long drag, and another. She doesn’t pass it back until she’s had three, and I don’t know if I should be worried or turned on, maybe a little of both. I guess I’m complex after all, who knew?
“All of those deaths, because he wanted to kill Emmet? What, were they just there for him to practice?” Her voice is thick with what I can only assume is disgust, and I nod sagely in reply.
“That’s all kinds of messed up. I’m angry and annoyed at people but I don’t go around plotting and practicing the best way to kill them.” She jumps to her feet and I watch as she paces the ground.
The moment is almost here. Where she’s going to call me out for not telling her about Poppy, and I either need to tell her the truth, or lie through my teeth. There is no happy medium with this one.
She isn’t saying anything, just switching between pacing, pulling at her hair, and shooting daggers into me. Guess I need to get the ball rolling myself.
“What’s up, Little Zero? Thallon got you feeling a little flustered?”
Her eyes open wide, as the color leaches from her cheeks. Her hands drop to her sides, before she walks closer to me.
“What do you mean? Has he said something to you?” She looks scared, and our little text chat comes back to me. Shit, does she still think they may have…
“I mean with everything he’s been doing to you lately, it can’t have been easy.” I reach for her hands, but she pulls away at the last second.
“That’s an understatement. But he’s not who I’m mad at. If anything, he’s mad at me.”
“Why would he be mad at you?” I lean back, letting the smoke cloud around me as she steps closer.
“I swear you already know the answer to that question, which means this is just another one of your games. You guys really like those, don’t you? I bet you also know about the name drop Emmet gave when he didn’t realize I was nearby.” Oh yeah, she’s pissed off, and not even trying to hide it. She hardly ever stutters when she’s angry, and her eyes are spitting fire at me right now.
“Fine. Yeah, I know you guys fooled around last night. I also know that nothing happened, so you don’t need to keep freaking out over it. As for Poppy, I got back as soon as I could so you could hear it from me and not Thallon. But I’m sure I failed in that respect too.” I stub the joint out and get to my feet.
“She came here, Aeron! She was a darn Academy girl and you guys never told me. All this time I spent agonizing over her, even when Tucker got my mom to tell me ‘the truth’ about her. It was still lies. Why didn’t you tell me? Better yet, were you ever going to?” Everything about her is breaking me, and we’re the ones who did this.
“At first, we didn’t because you didn’t mean enough to warrant breaking the rules. Don’t get me wrong, we break the rules all the time, but it has to be worth it to us.” Brutal honesty. I can’t see this working in my favor. “Then I started to care, but everything got so fucked up and by the time I realized that you were worth everything, it was too late. How could I tell you, Luna? What would have been the right way to tell you that the sister you came here to help, is someone we all knew? A girl who made it her mission to piss everyone off, and ignored every rule set before her. It was when she went after Rosalyn that she put the final nail in her own coffin. There was no saving her, and no one wanted to. Your mother should have paid the money back then and there, but Sir, for whatever reason, agreed to let her pay it back in installments. She’s still doing it now, as far as I know. The reason you guys are so broke is because of your sister. How could I possibly tell you that?” I grip her arms, to stop her from moving away, and she hollows out her cheeks as she stares over my shoulder.
“I don’t know, but every time I think I know you guys, something like this happens. Am I insane for wanting to believe you when you say you love me? For missing and worrying about Tucker while he’s stuck with that woman? For hoping that one day Emmet will be happy enough to just be himself? Am I? Because everyone seems to think I am. That if you guys ever tell me you love me, it will only be another game. Tom ripped my heart clean out of my chest, and every time I try and put it back in, something happens to close the wound right back up. It hurts, Aeron, it hurts too much.” She drops to her knees, and I keep expecting to see her break into tears, but none fall. Maybe she’s already met her quota, but for some reason, not crying, worries me more.