“I don’t know. I’m not okay with what you’ve done. I think I still hate you for it all, but you’re like two sides of a coin. When heads are facing up, you get good luck so you pick it up, but tails means it’s nothing but a coin. Nothing about it symbolizes that your day could get any better.” I pause, trying to figure out where I’m going with this. “It’s like that for you. When you’re not being cruel, it’s fun to be around you. You make me smile, and I almost feel safe. But when the coin flips, I just want to leave it where it is and step away.”
I think I made that more complicated than it needs to be.
“That’s confusing. You could have just called me Jekyll and Hyde,” he points out, as his hand roams across my body, staying over my clothes.
“No, that’s solely reserved for Emmet.” I can’t help the smile that spreads across my mouth when I say his name. He’s in my blood, like an arrow so firmly embedded, I may as well just learn to live with it being there. Knowing it would hurt a hell of a lot worse if I ever attempted to pull it out.
“I think we should agree to keep things simple between us. We don’t need to worry about falling in love, or offending each other. We’ll just explore this attraction, and not add any more knots to the tangled mess of your love life.” I peer up at him, and I think he’s onto something. Even if the idea of a casual relationship seems too far out of my element.
“So, am I being added to your little harem, or is that reserved for the serious contenders?” He smirks, and I stick my tongue out at him. Juvenile, but gets my point across perfectly.
His hands slide up my top and my breath escapes in a staggered pattern, it’s hard to think right now.
“I… can’t tell… if you’re… teasing me.” I have to force the words out, and he shocks me as he pulls me in closer and presses a kiss to my head.
“Let’s just lie here for a little while, I’ll work out if I was teasing later.”
Even though I’m not tired, my eyes begin to feel tired. It’s comfortable lying in his arms, so much so, I don’t even try to fight it as my blinks become longer and longer. Until I’m asleep.
Pulling up at the Academy has my stomach somersaulting all over the place. I shouldn’t be this nervous, but Tucker is going to be here. Will I be allowed to speak to him? Will he want to? What if he isn’t back for good, or if he fell for Rachel all over again?
Because you don’t have enough guys vying for your attention.
Thallon climbs out and heads up the stairs, he doesn’t wait for me and I don’t expect him to either. I know how it has to be, he has to hate me. I have to be miserable when I’m around him, which means that Australia has to become nothing more than a dream. As though it never even happened.
I climb out of the car, and slowly make my way towards the stairs. I almost scream as someone grabs my hip, but a hand across my mouth prevents the sound from escaping. My eyes go wide as I’m dragged backward, all I can think is, Bradley got away with it.
I kick at the stones, right until I’m pressed against the wall, next to the stairs. I’m spun around and I’m surrounded entirely by Tucker.
“Tuck.” It comes out strangled, as my hand goes to my chest. I barely even realize I’m rubbing at it, until he pulls my hand away.
“Tiny One.” it’s all he says. He stares at me like I’m nothing but a mirage, and he’s waiting for me to slowly disappear before his very eyes.
“I can’t believe you’re here.” My hand rises of its own accord to his face, but I can’t bring myself to touch him. I don’t know what this is, and I can’t bring myself to touch a guy who, for all intent and purposes, belongs to someone else.
He leans his face into my hand, cutting off the distance, as his eyes sink closed. He looks…. tired. As though he hasn’t slept in weeks.
“How are you here?”
“I can’t, not here. Be in your room later, and I’ll find a way inside. I’ll tell you everything, before I show you how much I missed you.”
His mouth is hungry, he’s devouring me whole. My fingers dig into his hair, as he cups the back of my neck. This right here, is everything. Having Tucker back with me, I never want him anywhere else. Even if that makes me the most selfish person on the planet.
“I’ll see you tonight, Tiny One. Stay safe.”
He walks away and I watch him go, counting the moments until tonight comes. I may have felt groggy when we first arrived, but I feel nothing but refreshed now.
I walk inside and head straight for my room, I’ll catch up with D later, but I haven't had a moment to process everything that has happened. That’s all I need, just some time to myself to question the grasp I hold on my questionable sanity, and what it means for me now that Tucker is back.
I groan in frustration at the slip of paper waiting on the floor, as I push the door open. Picking it up, my brow draws together. Seriously, I haven’t been back five minutes and I have to go to the medical center, what is wrong with this place? I do not want to pull at that thread, it could go on forever.
I don’t know if I want to cry or scream, but really, it will probably be better if I just get it over with. A quick in and out, before I hole myself up in here until Tucker comes to see me. I do want to see the others, but I haven’t seen him since the retreat, so it’s different. If they don’t like it, then that’s their problem.
A few girls wave at me as I walk past, I awkwardly return the gesture. I don’t know what has brought this on, but ever since Thallon started treating me like shit, people have been nicer. Is that really what it takes? We should be supporting each other, hoping that no one has to go through the shit that the majority do. I’m never going to understand girls, I barely understand guys.
I make it to the center in one piece, and get led to an office that I haven’t been in before. That isn’t exactly surprising, seeing as Cole isn’t here anymore.
The nurse opens the door and ushers me in with her hands, I smile politely as the door closes and I approach the desk.
“Doctor?” My voice sounds strange to my ears. I can’t honestly believe this is a set up, it’s not like one of the girls is going to spin around in that seat and throw a knife at me or something.
“Luna.” I hide my hands behind my back, to hide how much they are trembling. This can’t be happening, I thought he left.
“Doctor Stevenson.” I can’t meet his eyes, instead I stare past his shoulder, at the certificate hanging on the wall. It isn’t his, which means this isn’t his usual office.
“I’m sorry to drag you down here so soon after your return, but… I wanted to apologize for the way I acted when you called things off. I said some things that I can never take back, but I wish I could.” He stands up, but I move back as he comes around the desk.
“I’m not going to hurt you, Luna. I could never hurt you.” He holds his hands out, but it only makes me increase the distance between us.
He lets out a weary sigh, before perching on the edge of the desk. He strokes the bridge of his nose with his eyes closed, and I can’t help myself from eyeballing the door. I don’t know why I feel so unsettled, unsafe, I just do.