I agree with Maggie and we let the conversation drop there. Maggie heads off to bed while Matt and I stay up having a few more beers and talking about everything but Nora. As the night draws to a close I decide to stay with Matt and Maggie instead of driving back to the hotel. I grab my things from the car and crash in their extra bedroom.
Before turning out the light I pull Nora’s book from my bag. I’ve kept it with me ever since Bridgitte gave it to me, but I have yet to read it. So that’s what I do, I start reading the book, hoping it helps me make a decision. Between my dad and Maggie, I’m leaning heavily toward seeking her out once again.
I’ve spent the majority of the night up reading, and while only the beginning of the story is our story, the rest is Nora’s. If what she’s written is true, she’s spent the last twelve years looking for me, and now I feel like I failed her. I should’ve found her already. She shouldn’t have suffered for twelve years trying to find me. And with everything I’ve read and everything I’ve done, I’ve been so fucking close too many times. I showed up at her father’s house, she went to the beach every year on the anniversary of when we met, and now the same damn hotel. What if we crossed paths on the beach and never knew it, but it wasn’t like I went exactly on the anniversary every year. Sometimes it was earlier, sometimes it was later; it just depended on my schedule. I always felt it was a long shot, but I did it every year with that false sense of hope I would eventually find her. And to now know she was doing the same thing.
I have to tell her all her efforts were not a waste of time, that I was doing the same thing, too.
I finally fall asleep around four a.m. only to wake about three hours later when I hear Matt and Maggie moving throughout the house. I grab my phone from the nightstand, the time glowing seven-fifteen and while I have no place to be, I decide to get up.
I pull up my email on my phone as I’m getting ready to shower and while I’m off work, I just can’t let emails go unanswered. It’s just become part of my routine. I scroll through and sort the most important ones and that’s when I nearly scroll past the email I’ve been waiting weeks for.
When I first found Nora I sent an email to her publisher and her agent hoping to hear back, but as the days went by, my email went unanswered, but today I received a response.
Elliot,
Thank you for your interest in Miss Mills recent work, and while I am intrigued by your email, you have to understand we’ve received a number of messages from people claiming to be the man from her book. If you are interested in meeting her or would like a signed copy of her book she will be holding a meet and greet and a book signing at Anderson’s Book Shop in Brooklyn on Sunday at seven p.m. And again thank you for your interest.
Sara Waters
Brooklyn Publishing
It’s now Wednesday and I’m off for the rest of the week, set to leave San Diego on Friday. This would give me the perfect opportunity to meet her without surprising her at her house or catching her off guard. I’ll need to change my flight, instead of flying home to Chicago, I’ll fly to NYC and meet Nora at her book signing.
I quickly throw on some clothes and fling open the bedroom door. Maggie is coming down the hallway as I announce, “I’m going to New York to see Nora!” Maggie laughs out loud before throwing her arms around my neck in a huge hug.
“I’m so happy,” she says, smiling as she pulls away from me. “You need this.” She hugs me again as Matt comes down the hallway and mutters, “Oh for fuck’s sake.”
Maggie and I laugh and I shake my head at him. He just doesn’t get it.
Chapter Twenty-Four: Nora
The weeks float by slowly and Ryan and I fall into a routine that has some semblance of normalcy. Dinners with Alice and James, drinks with his friends, meeting up after work and spending the evenings together. And while things feel normal, there is still some disconnect on my part. It isn’t like I’m unhappy… I’m just even. But I told Ryan I would give this relationship a fair shot and that’s what I intend to do.
I’m sitting on the couch with my laptop next to me when Ryan walks in the door. Loosening his tie, he lets out an exhausted sigh of relief.
“Thank fuck this week is over,” he says on the exhale and I nod my head knowing he’s had a terrible week. His hair is disheveled as he scrubs his hands over his face.
We’ve hardly seen each other this week and this weekend isn’t going to get any better. I have my first book signing on Sunday and he’s leaving for a business trip to the west coast Saturday evening. I’m prepared to spend tonight and all day Saturday with him and right now, I’m excited to see him. Being away from him for a week has made me appreciate what we have and it made me realize that being around him does make me feel some sort of pull that makes me want to be near him.
“I’m starving,” Ryan says as he unbuttons his dress shirt and shrugs out of it. He’s standing in front of me in his slim fit suit pants and his white t-shirt and he definitely looks hot. Messy businessman looks good on him. “You wanna get something to eat?”
I laugh and point to the sweatshirt I’m wearing. Ryan shakes his head with a teasing smile on his face, he responds, “You’re pretty. Now let’s go eat.”
“Feed me and tell me I’m pretty,” I say, quoting what my sweatshirt says and laughing at him as I take his outstretched hand. “You did it in the wrong order.”
When my hand is in his, Ryan pulls me from the couch and I find myself flush against his chest with his hands roaming toward my ass.
“I missed you,” he murmurs into my ear and the feeling of his warm breath against my skin makes goose bumps form and I press into him even more.
“I missed you too,” I say, my lips finding his.
Ryan’s hands slip under my sweatshirt and trail along my bare skin and with each touch of his fingers, my body begins to crave him. I want to be close to him, I want to feel his skin against mine. I want to feel what it feels like to be wanted by someone. But as much as I want this, my thoughts still linger on Elliot. Even if for just a fleeting second he crosses my mind, it still happens.
Ryan growls against my mouth and pushes me away slightly. “You make this impossible,” he says, frustrated. “I’m starving. Let’s eat fast so I can get you home and naked.”
Laughing, I leave him standing in the living room so I can go change my clothes. A few seconds later Ryan joins me in the bedroom, stripping off his pants and pulling on a pair of jeans that are lying on my bedroom floor.
He stops and takes me in as I messily pull my hair back into a ponytail. I can feel his eyes on me and I can see the idea of desire form on his face.
“I thought you were starving?” I ask as I stalk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist.
“It can wait. Right now, I need you more than food,” he says, his voice deep and sexy. I can’t turn him away, but as much as I find myself attracted to him, I still have this sense of betrayal each time I sleep with Ryan. It’s almost a betrayal on both ends. Thoughts of Elliot cloud my mind, while I’m with Ryan. But when I think about Elliot, I hate myself because I have Ryan here with me and something about it all feels wrong. I’m torn.