My parents continue to argue their opinion on the whole thing and it gets increasingly more uncomfortable for me to sit here listening to them discuss my love life or lack thereof. My father still seems to be in favor of me once again hunting Nora down and telling her how I feel and my mother seems to think if I haven’t been given some sign that Nora is still searching for me, I should move on.
I felt like the book and Nora’s dedication was enough to show she has been looking for me, but after seeing her happy, I felt like I couldn’t ruin that for her. And maybe my appearance wouldn’t have ruined it, but I felt intrusive and strange the moment I saw her with the other guy.
“Well,” my mother says letting out another long sigh, “do what you want, Elliot, but sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself and being depressed isn’t going to change anything.”
“Yeah, I know that, Mom,” I respond, barely acknowledging her comment. Can’t I just fucking wallow for a while without all this judgment? Clearly telling them what has been going on was a terrible idea. “I’m gonna get going,” I say as I pick my plate up from the table and put it in the dishwasher.
I tell my parents goodbye and as I’m leaving my father restates his opinion by saying, “What’s the worst that could happen?” He gives me a smile and shrugs his shoulders once again, and now I’m beginning to feel like I made a mistake not approaching Nora outside her apartment. My father is right, and as weird as the situation felt to show up out of nowhere, what is the worst that could happen?
This whole thing has gotten to the point of ridiculous. I need to make a decision as to what I want to do because I can’t keep living like this. Going back and forth and the million what-ifs I still have bouncing around in my head.
I drive over to my hotel; thankful I decided to book it a few nights earlier than I planned because staying with my parents right now would be brutal.
I walk up to check in, mindless and completely lacking focus on anything. I hand the desk clerk my credit card and give her my name, not paying attention to anything around me. I hear her talking but I don’t respond and then she calls my name, “Mr. Munro, your card,” she says holding my credit card out to me.
“Sorry. Thanks,” I respond looking up to take the card from her and that’s when I see it: Nora’s book. It’s sitting on the counter right in front of me. It’s placed on a stand, like it’s on display rather than like someone is reading it. It’s not behind the counter. It’s on the counter.
I take the book from the stand and open it, and once again the desk clerk starts talking but it’s muffled as if I’m under water. Everything seems to move in slow motion as I open the book and read the note that is signed inside. It says: “Thanks for welcoming me for all those years. Nora Mills.”
With the book still in my hand and the fucking room spinning, I begin to walk toward the exit of the hotel. The desk clerk is calling my name, eventually coming from behind the counter to stop me from leaving.
“Sir, you can’t take the book,” she says sternly, removing it from my hand and I stand there trying to process what the hell is happening. Again Nora is back in my life.
I feel lightheaded and I can’t seem to form the words I need as I walk back toward the counter. The clerk has left in a huff, returning to her spot behind the counter and when I reach her, the annoyed look on her face says she’s done dealing with me.
The lobby of the hotel now seems unusually loud and there’s a line forming behind me as guests wait to check in.
“Sir, you’re going to have to step aside. There are other guests waiting and I’ve already checked you in. Your room is ready,” the desk clerk states simply and waits for me to move.
“I know, I’m sorry,” I say, trying to think of what to say next. I can’t just blurt out that I’m Elliot from the book, because first of all the character’s name isn’t even Elliot, so clearly that wouldn’t make any sense and second, this girl already thinks I’m fucking crazy.
I pause for a few seconds and the clerk looks behind her in hopes of someone coming to her rescue so I quickly ask, “The author of this book, she’s been to this hotel?”
“Yes, sir,” she says, but her tone is filled with annoyance. “She came every year for twelve years. Now can you please step aside.” Her request is now a demand more than a question and I do as she asks.
I’m not sure what I should do now, because if this isn’t some kind of fucking sign, I don’t know what is. There are a shitload of beachfront hotels in San Diego and somehow I show up at the same hotel Nora came to while she was looking for me.
In a foggy haze of confusion and disbelief, I get back in my car and drive to Matt and Maggie’s house. It’s a little after nine and I text him as I pull into the driveway. They’re both still up so I head to the front door and before I can ring the bell, Matt opens the door.
“I thought we were getting together tomorrow?” Matt says as I walk through the door, a confused look on his face.
Without answering him, I walk through the house and into the kitchen, grabbing a beer for both of us from the fridge; I sit down at the kitchen table. Matt pulls out a chair and sits down across from me as Maggie walks into the room. She’s wearing an old t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants with her hair in a ponytail. She looks tired and I feel like an asshole for just showing up out of nowhere. She pulls a chair out from the table and slips into it, resting her elbows on the tabletop.
“What the hell is going on?” Matt asks and I know as soon as I tell him he’s going to have the same response he’s had for the last few weeks. Since telling him about finding Nora but leaving without saying a word to her, he thinks I’m a fucking idiot.
“It turns out that the hotel I’m staying at is the same fucking hotel Nora stayed at when she was looking for me—” I don’t even get a chance to finish my thought before Matt starts talking.
“This shit again? Dude, this has got to fucking end,” Matt says and Maggie nods her head in agreement. I’m sure everyone is sick of my bullshit and there’s going to come a point when I’ve alienated my friends because of this.
“I know and it’s going to. I’m going to meet her and end all of this. But this time I’m going about it differently. I’m not just going to show up and say surprise!”
I have to think about this a little more rationally, because right now I feel exactly like I did the last time and I want to just show up on her doorstep. I know she’s in a relationship, and the fact that I don’t want to upset her, I need to have a plan this time.
“What are you going to do?” Maggie asks, but she seems more intrigued than annoyed. She’s had less involvement in this than Matt and she’s always been more interested in the romantic side of it.
“I’m not sure just yet, but I’ll figure it out.”
Maggie lets out a long sigh and runs her hands over her face before saying, “I think you should find a way to surprise her. It’s obvious she’s spent the last twelve years looking for you. Regardless of the fact that she’s in a relationship now, I think she’d want to know you’ve been looking for her too and I think giving her the option of meeting you is a bad idea. Find a way to do it without just showing up at her house.”