“Do you know if Mr. Scott has seen her… their daughter,” I ask, curiosity getting the best of me.
“I don’t know.” His voice is desolate, a far cry from his usually playful jovial tone that he had just last night aided with alcohol. In this instant I realize that Aidan is hurting too. His brother Chris is MIA, the Scotts are like his family and on the verge of ruin, and his best friends will probably never speak to each other again.
“Are you okay Aidan?” I ask him genuinely.
“I’m always okay.” I can hear the smile in his voice, and I know he’s mustered it up for me.
“Well since you and Hillary are a thing now, I’m sure I’ll be seeing you a lot in Chicago,” I say teasingly.
“We’re not a thing!” He sounds almost panicked and I have to keep myself from giggling. He doesn’t know Hillary. They are now a thing.
“Whatever you say,” I tell him reassuringly.
“You’ll let me know as soon as Chris is… back,” he says unsurely.
“That’s a promise.”
“Good. Take it easy Lauren.” His tone is more serious.
“You too,” I tell him before hanging up. After finishing up with Aidan I shower quickly and change Caylen while she’s sleeping. It’s really early, and I don’t want to mess up her schedule. Collin texts me that we’ll be leaving at 7:30 and it’s 6:45 now. I’m doing the last check of things when there’s a knock on the door. I figure it’s Mrs. Scott but am surprised when I see it’s Mr. Scott. He still looks tired and drained, but now there’s something I didn’t see the last time we saw each other. Hope, right behind his blue-green eyes.
“Good morning.”
“Good morning.” I move from the doorway allowing him to come in. He steps inside, and I close the door behind me. I think of how far he and I have come. How this man practically hated me before, how mean and bitter he was. He wasn’t my ally, honestly he felt like my enemy. There was nothing I could do right and my very presence irritated him. Now after everything has come out, I think I’m his only ally right now.
“Gwen mentioned that you and…” he lets out a deep breath. “Collin are leaving.”
“Yeah,” I nod. “I’m hoping that if he sees Helen that it will help things.”
“I think she can help, I hope, but what do I know now?” he chuckles.
“Have you talked to him?”
He shakes his head. “No, I didn’t think it was the best thing right now.” That I’m surprised at, but maybe I shouldn’t be after the verbal shredding Chris gave him.
“Gwen said that he doesn’t seem that bad.” I wonder if those were his interpretations of her words and not his. To be honest, Gwen actually seems smitten with Collin.
“Not now at least,” I answer honestly. Really I don’t know what to think of Collin. He seems so transparent but that is something that I just can’t trust at this point. His goals seem too perfect. It would be so easy if this part of the man I loved wanted what was best for everyone, but it seems odd for his goal to be so out of line with the other two parts of himself. If he’s being honest and it truly is his goal, does it matter when the other two halves are so against it?
“Gwen told me that he reminds her of a better version of a Crestfield,” he says hesitantly.
“That sounds like a good description of him actually.”
“Well if that’s the case, be careful.”
I start to tell him that his son is an actual Crestfield, but I don’t. He has to already know that and I don’t want to add anything extra on his mental scale right now.
“If there is anything you need from me or Gwen, we are there. It doesn’t matter how early or how late.” I can tell he means it with every fiber in his body.
“I will I promise.”
And I mean it. If we’re going to make this work, it’s going to take every one of us.
It’s been so many times that Caylen and I have pulled up to our home, gone up so many flights of stairs, and opened the door. Yet it has never been with Cal.
It’s just been us, or Chris has been with us, or at least I think it was him. And now Collin. We’ve been home for a week, and luckily Caylen still knows this is her home. It still feels like it for her, and Collin, I believe, she knows is her dad.
He loves her.
He’s patient with her, he plays with her. She sleeps in my bed every night. I know I have to stop it, she’s so good about sleeping on her own, but it’s more for my comfort than hers. It’s lonely being back here and still by myself in bed. Of course Collin and I don’t sleep in the same room. He hasn’t initiated doing so, and only comes in every morning to collect things. Yesterday I know he went shopping. I peeked into the closet of the room he’s staying in. I must say his taste is impeccable, but expensive, even making Cal’s look frugal. He leaves everyday between 7 and 9 but is back before seven. It’s almost like having a roommate, and it feels so strange. Mr. and Mrs. Scott have checked in on me each day, at different times of course. They’re in the same house— that’s a step—but I don’t know how much longer that will be. I feel so bad for Mrs. Scott, and sometimes it’s easier to talk to her about the pain she’s dealing with than dealing with my own. What pain am I in? After everything it seems selfish to think of my own pain. After everything we’ve found out, what’s happened in everyone's past, it seems ridiculous.
“I want cookies,” Caylen squeals while splashing the bubbles in the tub. I laugh.
“No cookies tonight,” I tell her for the third time. I think Mrs. Scott has gotten her accustomed to baked goods before bedtime. I pick her up and wrap my arms around her along with the big, plush, pink towel and head out of the bathroom. I’m surprised when I see Collin walk through the door. He has a big bag that says Barnes and Noble.
“Hey,” I say and he smiles at me. A smile that still makes my heart do jumping jacks. I remind myself each time that Collin is different; even if he has the same smile, the same voice, and the same eyes that make me fall in love with him again. He sets down the bag and walks toward us, and I command my heart to slow down.
“I have something for her,” he says before kissing her on the forehead. She palms both sides of his face.
“You hear that Cay,” I tell her.
He’s in a good mood, and it’s almost contagious. I want to inhale it, instead I inhale his scent. It’s so different from Chris’s and Cal’s.
“I got something for you too, but I can’t show you until Friday.” His eyes sparkle at me, and I try to contain my smile.
He’s got something for me. I try to hide my elation. I try to hide how good it is for a moment for things to seem easy and light. It seems like those moments were a millennium away. He’s excited, and the energy is buzzing off of him. Usually I would just smile and be polite, but curiosity has the best of me.
“What is it?” I ask.
“Hers or yours,” he challenges and I bite my lip to try to contain my smile.
I fail.
“Go and get her dressed and I can show you hers, and yours you’re going to have to wait for.” I give him a playful glare before dashing off to the room and dressing Caylen after lotioning her down.