“Knock knock.” I turn to see Mrs. Scott at the door. Her long red hair is pulled into a low ponytail. Her eyes are wide and bright but puffy. I wonder how much she’s cried today.
“Hi,” I say cheerfully. She comes in and sits beside me and Caylen on the floor. Caylen keeps trying to eat the Play-Doh instead of making the cake I’ve been sculpting.
“She loves this stuff.” She laughs while taking a red piece and kneading it in her hands. “I’m going to be making dinner soon. Is there anything special you wanted… or you think that Collin would like?”
“Whatever you make will be great. You’re an amazing cook.”
“It helps to take my mind off things. Caylen did a great job of that too.” She twirls her finger around one of Caylen’s pigtails.
“I’m glad. I know she’s had a great time.”
“Has Will tried to reach out to Chris?” she asks steadily keeping her eyes on the Play-Doh Caylen’s been kneading.
I swallow the nervous lump in my throat. “Yeah, I actually called him…” I say feeling traitorous. Her eyebrows rise ever so slightly, but she doesn’t immediately ask for an explanation.
“There were some things that happened with Chris and I didn’t know who else to call.” She looks slightly hurt at my admission. “Not that I wouldn’t call you. It’s just after everything that happened, I didn’t want to put anything else on you,” I explain quickly.
“You can call me anytime you need me, Lauren. I know I haven’t exactly been myself but I took care of myself and two grown men while dealing with cancer. This won’t be the death of me.” She smiles but her voice is stern, and I nod letting her know that I understand.
“So what exactly happened? Why did you call him?” She asks, and I begin to tell her everything that happened. When I finish, tears are coming down both of our eyes. She shakes her head in disbelief.
“What type of woman would do that to her child?!” Gwen’s anger beats out her sadness.
“I know.”
“And Dexter. Ugh,” she growls. “I can’t believe William never told me.” Her lips are pressed together, and I realize that this situation isn’t going to bring them any closer.
“He said that Mr. Crestfield made him sign a confidentiality agreement,” I tell her hoping to soften the blow a bit. She lets out an angry sigh.
“I shouldn’t be surprised though, after everything that has happened.” She laughs bitterly. I pick up Caylen and hold her close to me before she wiggles out of my arms, her dollhouse now the receiver of her attention.
“My poor boy,” she says quietly, her thoughts obviously going back to the little boy that arrived on her doorstep all those years ago. “I’m so angry I feel warm!”
“Poor Cal, poor Chris… Collin.” She shakes her head and covers her face. “How are you doing, honey?”
“I’m doing,” I chuckle, and she nods sympathetically. “I’m more worried about him.” I admit looking toward the door as if he’ll show up.
She lets out a deep sigh and shakes her head. “Me and Will really screwed this up. We didn’t have a clue what to do, but it looks like we made all the wrong choices.” She starts to cry a little harder, and Caylen walks over to her looking in curiosity. She laughs and hugs her. I get up and grab a box of Kleenex taking one for myself and handing the box to her.
“Things could be worse.” I shrug, and she starts to laugh and I laugh too because it seems unlikely that it could be but things always could.
“Is he nice to you?” she asks after we both come down from our laughter.
I think for a moment. “He is actually,” I tell her honestly. “We haven’t been around each other long, but, I can’t say that he’s been mean…” I trail off, and she waits for me to continue.
I shrug. “He’s just so different and… new,” I say quietly. “Just kind of when I got over the get to know you hump,” I joke and she smiles.
“I’m glad William was there for you.”
A moment passes.
“He misses you, and he looks terrible,” I say honestly, knowing it probably won’t make her feel better.
“I’m sure he does. I just keep thinking about how arrogant I was. Thinking how superior I was to women I knew who’d been cheated on. Thinking that they chose the wrong man, or they let the spark go, or they couldn’t have really been in love. How that would never happen to me,” she shakes her head and laughs.
“I thought my love was enough.”
My heart breaks for her and I’m quiet not knowing what to say, how to comfort her. We all hope that, we have no choice but to believe anything else.
“I’m going to go get dinner started,” she says pushing herself off the floor. I start to tidy things up in the room from the big mess Caylen made. She follows Mrs. Scott out of the room.
“It’s fine, it’s become our ritual,” Mrs. Scott scoops her up in her arms and carries her to the kitchen. I make my way up the stairs to Chris’s room, remembering the first day I walked through it. How I was able to peep into a life that I’d never saw glimpses of before. The door is cracked open, and I see Collin on the phone pacing back and forth with the phone to his ear. His movements are smooth, his stare concentrated but not stressed. He glances at me and smiles. Whenever any of them smile, they have the ability to make a girl swoon. He puts up his finger to say give me one sec, and then tells whoever is on the line that they’ll connect later and hangs up. He walks toward me, his eyes on mine.
“You wanted to talk to me?” We’re only inches apart, and being near him makes my pulse race and my memory go to places they shouldn’t right now. He smells good, like Cal having used his shampoo and wash and for a moment I forget why I’m here. My thoughts taking me to moments of the past.
“Dinner. Mrs. Scott is making dinner,” I say hating my voice for being weak. He looks at me amused and resembles Cal in this moment more than he ever has before. For a moment I wonder if this is a trick, if this is really the man I’ve always known and fell in love with. Especially when he tilts his head to the side and with a hint of a smile looks into my eyes and asks me if I’m okay. No, I’m not okay. This is so freakin' confusing, and I miss him so much.
“Yeah,” I lie. “You’ve been working a lot.” I try to change the subject.
He nods. “That’s sort of what I do.”
“Right,” I stuff my hands in the pocket of my jeans, and glue my eyes to my shoes. It’s starting to become too hard to look at him without wanting to kiss him. But he’s not Cal, and surely not Chris. He’s Collin, and I’m not even sure if he’s attracted to me… not that him being so should be a priority with as much going on as it is.
“How long did you plan on staying here?” he asks me and I shrug, feeling like a high school girl with a crush on her teacher.
“Well, I just think it’s important for me to start seeing Helen.” I look up at him in shock. He smiles widely, then steps a bit closer to me, and I hold my breath.
“I’m not your enemy Lauren, if anything I’m your asset. I want what you want.”