“Mina?”
“Yeah?” I set the pan aside, pleased with how the loaf looked, and glanced over at my stepfather.
His face has lost its good humour and was once again shadowed with weariness. He was quiet for a minute before he leaned forward, his elbows on the tabletop, and his dark eyes sadly fixed on me. “I just want you to know that, with everything you’ve had to go through at such a young age, you’ve done me proud.”
I go absolutely still at his words.
“You worked hard in school and before the… attack…” he swallows hard at the mention of that night, “You were so dedicated to your dancing… and just with how you’ve been lately, picking yourself up after going through your grief… I’m proud, Baby Girl. I’m damned proud of you.”
I felt tears sting my eyes and find that it’s difficult to swallow. It’s as if I’ve swallowed a peach pit and now it’s lodged in my throat. I look away and keep my gaze on the countertop. James has never really been sentimental. Never a big talker. To hear him say these things about me, well… It means a lot. I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear a parental figure say those words to me.
From outside, we both hear Shay’s approaching footsteps through the open windows that flank the front door. My hands suddenly become clammy and I feel my face pale when he steps into the range of the porch light. He’d been pissed this morning, and I’d left him in a state. Had he spent his day going nuts, picking fights, and trashing anything and everything in his path? Was that why James looked so tired and beaten down?
James didn’t even bother turning around to look behind him. His face had fallen, and he was staring off across the table at nothing, from what I could see. He looked… deeply troubled and conflicted.
“James?” I whisper, alarmed by the look on his face. What the hell happened today?
“It’s nothing,” he mutters and casts me a regretful sort of look.
His words didn’t reassure me. If anything, seeing his unusual, darker response to Shay was scaring me a little. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m just tired.” He got to his feet just as Shay unlocked the door with the numerical password on the button pad, and stepped inside. He saw his father first and at once, both men froze. I remained absolutely still, my eyes moving from one to the other, wondering what was going on. A range of emotions flitted across James’ face… resentment, remorse, grim acceptance…
“Sheik,” Shay says curtly, addressing his dad by his road name. His brows were pulled together over his silver eyes, the look threatening and challenging. But James didn’t say a word. He simply fixed Shay with his penetrating stare, gave a jerky sort of nod, and turned away. Without another look to either of us, he headed towards the stairs, and went up. I watched him walk down the hall that overlooked the sitting room and kitchen, and then disappear into his bedroom, shutting the door a little harder than he needed to.
I turn to Shay, my brows raised high on my forehead, and my eyes wide. “What the heck was that all about?”
Shay’s expression immediately shifts from one of tense intimidation to relaxed contentment. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and strolled over to where I was, his eyes on the banana loaf. “You been baking again?” He sounds pleased by that. In fact, he looks absolutely mellow and calm, like he hadn’t spent his entire day in turmoil and wrecking havoc. What was up with James, then?
“Yeah. It’s been so long since I felt the urge to… it just kind of struck me out of the blue today,” I say, relieved that I didn’t have a moody Shay to deal with tonight. “I was just about to wrap it up so we could all have some for breakfast tomorrow.” I move away from where he’d stopped at my side, just a few inches closer than necessary. “Have you eaten?” I ask him. Even to my own ears, my voice sounds shaky. I’m so anxious that I’m worried I’m going to make myself sick.
“Nope.”
“Let me fix you up a plate. Have a seat.” I take this as an opportunity to distract him, and myself, as I rummage through the fridge to prepare him something. Shay moves over to the table and takes James’ vacated chair. I get him the same meal I’d given James, heat it up, and bring it over, moving carefully on my heavily plastered leg.
Shay has a wide smile on his face, watching as I set his food on the placemat before him. Before I can move away, his arm snakes around my waist and pulls me in close so I’m pressed against his side. He presses his face into my stomach, and kisses it. I jump at the gesture and immediately my guard goes up. Too much, too much! Quickly, I spin out of his hold, moving with surprising agility in my condition, and shuffle over to the kitchen again to clean up the mess I’d made. He’s your crutch, Mina. It’s not the same as what you have with Keenan…
“What did you do today?” Shay asks, completely unperturbed by my reaction, and starts to eat.
“I cleaned out all my old school stuff and just kind of lazed around. I only started feeling better a few hours ago.” I hide my eyes from him by turning away, hoping that his good mood will stay. But I’m nervous as hell. This morning had been intense, and last night, well… my cheeks redden at the memory and I refuse to meet his eye.
“I think you had a good time last night.”
“From what I could remember, yeah,” I say hesitantly. I don’t know if he meant the party, or what had happened at home, but I chose to play innocent and act like he meant my birthday. “It was nice seeing everyone.”
“I’d like you to come back with me, sometime.”
“Maybe… but I felt terrible today. I don’t need to drink to have fun,” I tell him, remembering how he had pressured me at first to have my first cocktail.
“Good. You don’t want to get into that shit.”
I raise my brows at him, confused by his sudden change of heart. “You didn’t seem to have a problem with it last night,” I say as I dry some of the dishes.
“Last night was your birthday. That was different. If we go to the club again, it’s because I want you to hang out with me… not to drink.”
I glance up and see that his eyes are locked onto me, watching as I move around the small kitchen space, wiping things down and putting the plates and bowls away. His look is heated, and I feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.
Ignore it, Mina… stay nice, don’t piss him off… I bite the corner of my bottom lip and carefully remove the loaf from the pan so I can wrap it up.
“Where did you go this morning?”
I freeze on the spot. Oh shit… the alarm! Keenan’s gift! I force myself to relax as I finish wrapping up the loaf and put it away in the fridge, avoiding his eyes. “I just felt like going for a walk, is all. Been cooped up for a long time now.” He says nothing, but I can feel him watching as I search for more things to clean. My heart is pounding...
“What are you up to tomorrow?” he asks me, suddenly. He reaches up and shoves his longer hair out of his eyes. The heel of his left foot is restlessly bouncing over and over again at a quick pace, as though he’s on edge, and it only adds to my jumbled nerves.
“Um, I was thinking of calling up Becca and Ashley. I haven’t seen them in weeks,” I lie quickly. In truth, I don’t have any plans, but I don’t want him to linger like he’s been doing the past six days. His eyes narrow suspiciously. Shay can be very perceptive, so I think quickly about how to throw him off. “They want to tell me about their new boyfriends. I guess they go to a school in Ashland that’s a little rough around the edges. They’re part of a gang or crew or something. I’m going to try to talk some sense into them.” The lie comes easily enough, but I sense an interrogation coming.