He sighed heavily, his chest rising and falling.
“A lot is wrong, Ves.” He grabbed both my hands and pulled them to his lips, kissing them gently with his eyes locked on mine. “But this is not the time to figure it all out or to worry.”
I studied his face for a moment and nodded when it was clear that I had no way to get him to talk.
“We still have a few minutes,” I hinted, and without replying, he cupped my face and kissed me again.
The closer we got to going back home, the more worries surfaced.
But he was right.
This wasn’t the time to worry.
*
When we got to Jason’s cabin, he was already waiting outside by his car. Sitka ran to him once I let go of the leash, and they greeted each other as if they hadn’t seen one another for a year.
I was always fascinated by how loyal dogs were, but I could never take care of one myself.
“You okay?” Jason asked Fennec.
“Yeah. Thanks for driving us. Appreciate it,” he replied as we reached the truck.
“I’m gonna stay in town for as long as your dad needs to stay there. Been driving back and forth too many times to drive up here again.”
That meant we’d have to stay in Fairbanks until Papa was ready to come back here, but that was okay.
Fennec needed some time to heal too.
“Get in. And let your mother know we’re coming,” Jason suggested.
I nodded at him, and when we were inside the truck, I let Mama know we were on our way by texting her.
Only a few minutes later, she replied to inform me that Papa was home from the hospital, and that she’d be waiting on us there.
“She’s excited to see you again,” I told Fennec, smiling at him.
We were sitting in the backseat and let Sitka sit in the front with her owner, seeing as they had so much to tell each other after being apart for one whole night.
“Bullshit,” Fen spat. “She’s excited about being in control over me again.”
He didn’t seem too happy to go back, but he had promised me he would, and now he couldn’t back down.
38
There were moments on the drive to Fairbanks in which I wanted to jump out of the moving truck.
To run away and never having to face Mama, and everything she had planned for my arrival.
I knew damn well that the moment I would get home, she’d wanna talk to me about things she thought were best for me.
I couldn’t leave Vespyr behind though, and running away from her wouldn’t help me get better.
I needed her by my side, and no matter what would happen, she was the one person I couldn’t lose.
You don’t wanna get better.
Covering my eyes with my hand, I tried to get those voices out of my head before they could manipulate me, and when Vespyr’s hand touched my arm, I tensed and lifted my gaze to meet hers.
“Everything okay?” she whispered with worry on her face. “We’re home soon.”
We were already driving down the main street and toward our parents’ house, and the closer we got, the faster my heart started to beat.
Why the fuck was I so nervous all of a sudden?
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I replied, trying to smile at her but failing miserably as a deep frown appeared between my brows.
“It’ll be okay. I know Mama and Papa are happy to see you again.”
“Papa hates me,” I told her.
“No, he doesn’t. Why would you say something like that? You were in shock when he fell. It wasn’t your fault.”
Oh, my sweet, naïve girl.
“Everything will be okay, Fennec.” She moved closer to me and wrapped her arms around my waist, propping her chin on my shoulder and keeping her eyes on me. “You’ll see. Papa’s foot will heal and we’ll go back to camp sooner than you think.”
No, we wouldn’t, but she didn’t understand that yet.
I pressed a kiss to her forehead and put an arm around her shoulders to keep her close, and when Jason finally pulled onto our street, I leaned in to whisper in her ear.
“I need you close,” I told her, kissing the soft spot underneath her ear gently.
“You know I’ll never leave your side,” she whispered back.
“I need you now more than ever, Ves. No matter what’s going to happen. Stay close.”
Confusion sparked in her eyes as I looked at her again, but then she nodded and smiled at me. “I will.”
“Here we are. You gonna be okay?” Jason asked.
I let go of Vespyr to reach into the back and pull our duffle bag out. “We’ll be fine, Jason. Thanks for driving us,” I said, already opening the door.
“I’ll be staying in town for about a month. If your father’s ready to leave around that time, call me.”
“We will. Thank you, Jason,” Vespyr said, and after saying goodbye to Sitka, we got out of the car and walked toward the house.
Mama opened the door before we had the chance to ring the bell, and when she looked at us, there was something in her eyes I couldn’t quite make out.
She looked confused, disgusted, but somewhat happy to see us.
“Did Jason leave?” she asked.
I nodded, then she stepped aside to let us in.
On the way inside, Mama placed her hand on the back of Vespyr’s head, smiling at her with pity.
“You okay, sweetheart?”
“Yes, I’m okay, Mama. Where’s Papa?”
“In the bedroom, resting. Why don’t you go say hello to him while I help Fennec with the bag?”
Vespyr looked at me, unsure if she should go say hello to Papa.
“It’s fine. I’ll come say hi to him later,” I told her.
I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable, but she was starting to realize that something was off.
Mama never acted like this, and it was affecting Vespyr heavily.
“Go, I’ll be right there with you,” I promised with a smile, and after ensuring I was being honest, she took off her coat and shoes to get to Papa.
Instead of talking, Mama took the duffle bag out of my hand and walked over to my bedroom, suddenly disregarding me.
I followed her but stopped in the doorway, watching her set the bag on my bed and opening it before pulling out Vespyr’s backpack and then the clothes we decided to bring home from camp.
“I can unpack myself,” I said, but she quickly cut me off.
“I’m disappointed in you. The way you treated your father was not okay, and now making your sister be the bigger person doesn’t sit right with me.”
“Mama—”
“I don’t wanna hear a word coming out of your mouth. Not until you have apologized to your father and sister. Tomorrow, you’ll go to Mrs. Irvine and talk about what you’ve done.”
“Can I have a say in this myself?” I asked, watching as she put the empty duffle bag next to my bed and picking up Vespyr’s backpack.
“No. I should’ve gone through with that a long time ago. I’ve talked to Mrs. Irvine this morning. She’s awaiting you tomorrow at two p.m., and you’re going to talk to her.”
She had never been this serious before and I knew this would continue until I did what she told me.