“Vespyr,” he sighed, clearing his throat and pushing himself up to adjust his leg which he had propped up on the chair next to Mama’s. “There are things you don’t have to know.”
“No? Thought she’s family. She should know everything that’s going on,” I spat, moving my gaze to him to shoot him a glare.
“Fennec,” Mama warned. “This is why you’re going to therapy tomorrow. Your behavior is unacceptable.”
I laughed, and Vespyr’s confusion only grew.
Poor girl.
“Therapy? Why?” she asked.
Shit, she didn’t know they were sending her too?
“You didn’t tell her?” I asked, then looked back at Vespyr. “They’re sending us to therapy because they think we’re sick. They think I made you sick.”
“I’m not sick. Mama, what is going on?” Vespyr asked, the emotions in her eyes running wild. “Why are you making us do this?”
“Because your brother pushed your father down that cliff. He could’ve killed him.”
After Mama’s words fell, we were all silent.
My body tensed, and I watched as Vespyr’s face went pale.
“Liar,” she whispered with her eyes on mine, but her words were directed to Mama.
“I’m not lying, Vespyr. He pushed Papa.”
Her gaze shifted to Papa, tears filling her wide eyes. “Is that true? Papa…please tell me it’s not true.”
But Papa didn’t speak.
He just looked away and let the truth sink in.
“Why?” Vespyr croaked, her eyes back on mine.
I thought she was going to question me, but instead, she turned to Mama as she swallowed hard. “Why do I have to go to therapy? I didn’t ask you to make an appointment for me, and I don’t think Fennec did either. You can’t make us go!” she cried.
She’s got your back. Lucky bastard. She really loves you.
I felt proud, knowing that Vespyr wasn’t mad at me for what I’ve done.
She knew better than to let our parents take away our right to decide, and she was standing up for herself. And for me.
“I don’t think I have to list everything Papa told me about the things he heard you two do. It’s disgusting, and I didn’t raise you like this!”
Mama was furious, while Papa just sat there without saying a word.
Vespyr got up from her chair and slammed her napkin next to her plate, then she pointed at Mama. “You don’t get to choose who I love. And neither do you!” she cried, now pointing at Papa.
“I don’t care what you think, and I don’t care if you make me go to therapy. Nothing’s going to change the way I feel about him!”
She took off running, heading straight to her bedroom and I didn’t hesitate one second to get up myself and follow her.
“Hey!” Mama shouted, her chair scratching the floor as she pushed it back to come after us.
Once I was in Vespyr’s room with her, I closed the door and locked ourselves inside, and seconds later, Mama was banging on the door.
“Open the door, Fennec!”
A book flew past my head, hitting the door and falling open on the floor next to my feet.
“Leave us alone!” Vespyr screamed, and when I was sure Mama had stepped away from the door, I turned and pulled Ves into my arms to hold her tight.
I brushed along her hair, trying to calm her and silently show her that I supported her.
I kissed the top of her head and let her cry into my sweater, giving her the time she needed.
“I love you,” I whispered against her hair, needing her to hear it before her mind told her other things.
“We’ll be okay. They don’t understand, but we do. And that’s the only thing I care about. I’m right here, sweet girl.”
I held her in my arms for a while until I picked her up to lay her down on her bed.
She immediately cuddled up to me when I sat down next to her, and after pulling up the covers, I put my arms around her body again.
“It’ll be okay,” I whispered. “It’s you and me, sweet girl. Forever.”
*
Vespyr had fallen asleep in my arms while her tears wouldn’t stop falling.
Talking to her while she was so upset wasn’t a good idea, so I let her be and hoped that when she woke up, we could talk this out and make her feel better.
I was leaned back against the pillows with her laying on me between my legs, and I caressed her back to soothe her so she’d have a calm sleep.
Despite all the things Mama had thrown our way, she didn’t come knock on the door again.
I heard them talk in the kitchen, but other than murmurs, there wasn’t much I understood.
Better that way, because I was still mad.
Lashing out at them wasn’t a good idea either, and seeing Vespyr do it made me rethink what Mama had said to me.
I’ve always known I needed help, but accepting it was never an option.
I still didn’t want to agree with her, but it was the voices holding me back.
There were so many things on my mind, contradicting my own thoughts and words, and making everything worse one second, and all better the next.
I hated feeling that way.
So fucking much.
Vespyr moved in my arms and I looked down to watch her eyes open slowly.
Smiling, I brushed back her hair and kissed her head before she turned to look up at me.
“You’re here,” she whispered.
“Of course I am. How are you feeling?” I asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
“I don’t know.” She moved again, pushing herself up until she could place her head on my shoulder. “I had a strange dream,” she whispered.
“What kind of dream?”
I continued to brush through her hair and watched her closely as her eyes looked straight ahead to her bedroom door.
“I was sitting in an empty room. I was on the floor and there were these walls around me, all covered in fur. Fox fur.”
She frowned, looking up at me now and sighing.
“I don’t think I was breathing, and then you were there but…I didn’t see you.”
“Does sound like a strange dream,” I said, smiling at her.
“Did you sleep at all?”
“No. Didn’t feel like it. There’s too much on my mind.”
It was already two a.m., and she had slept quite a few hours before opening her eyes again.
She studied my face for a while, then nodded and started to caress the side of my neck with her fingers softly.
“You know…I don’t care what happened between you and Papa, but I don’t think we should ignore what they told us.”
“You mean about therapy? That we should go tomorrow?” I asked, trying to understand where she’s going with this.
Whatever she wanted to do, and no matter how contradicting it was, I couldn’t let her go through with it alone.
“Yes. I know they can’t make us do something we don’t want, but what if we need to?”
“Do you feel like you need to talk to a professional for some reason?”
She shrugged, her eyes back on the wall in front of her.
“I often had those dreams. You know, the ones where I sleepwalked. I didn’t have them in a while, but I don’t want them to come back. I don’t wanna have those dreams again, no matter how good they made me feel.”