Jessa said nothing, a tear running down her cheek. Not because of Logan but because his words struck a chord. It wasn’t just what she was telling him, that there’d been feelings involved, but had she and Noah really ruined their friendship for just one night? She couldn’t wrap her mind around it. And the pregnancy was now a very large complication.
Logan seemed to sense her mood because he softened. He’d never had a problem with Noah; they got along well. He was understandably very surprised but realized that whatever happened had caused some upset between Jessa and Noah too.
“I guess you two will sort it out,” he said, patting her hand. “We should get a divorce,” he said.
Jessa nodded. “It is the best thing. I’m sorry.”
Logan shrugged. “It doesn’t matter; it’s happened now.”
Jessa nodded, feeling exhausted. She told him she was tired and went to stay in the guest room for the night. She shut herself in, trying to sleep when the room held so many memories of how she was in this situation in the first place.
When her phone beeped with a message from Noah a week later, she ignored it. She was ill with morning sickness and missed him but was frustrated at his lack of contact. He tried again when he didn’t get a response.
Are you okay? We really need to talk.
Jessa again ignored it along with his calls, unable to deal with things, upset at his silence over the last two weeks.
I’m so sorry, Jessa. I deserve your anger. Are you going to throw away 32 years of friendship over this? I really need to talk to you.
She considered his words, knowing he had a point. He then called straight after the message, and she sighed before answering it.
“Hey,” she said.
“Hi. I know you’re upset, but I need to see you. I’m in town,” said Noah.
“I don’t really want to talk about it,” she said.
“I really need to talk to you,” said Noah.
“Fine. Tomorrow?” asked Jessa.
“No. Today if possible,” he said.
“I’m busy today. I have work,” Jessa said.
“Okay. I’ll see you when you’re free,” said Noah.
They hung up, both upset. Noah desperately needed to talk to her. The more he’d thought about it, the more he changed his mind. He wanted the baby too. He knew it would change their lives and schedules and like her, had realized they could get a nanny if need be. He hoped she hadn’t terminated. He hated that his initial reaction had been negative, but he’d had a lot to consider. His work and travel simply wasn’t conducive to settling down and having a family. He couldn’t deny, though, that the thought of having a child with Jessa was not entirely unpleasant. A child that was half her could only be amazing.
He called her work, finding out her schedule, and showed up to see her unannounced. Jessa was in the studio with some students, going over choreography for their next competition. Noah walked into the room and took a seat at the back. All her students gasped, seeing who it was. Noah was so well-known in their world; she knew they probably all secretly dreamed of having something choreographed by Noah.
Jessa narrowed her eyes at him but knew that she’d have to talk to him.
“Take a break. See you in fifteen minutes,” said Jessa.
The students all filed out of the room, saying timid hellos to Noah on the way out. He grinned at them, friendly as always as he asked them about their training, and they all stared at him, their eyes wide. They were clearly surprised that he was so friendly and down-to-earth. Noah was not one to be cocky about the position he held. The girls nudged each other, giggling as they exited, and Jessa smirked. She knew the effect Noah had on the female population. Probably the male population too now that she thought about it. She nearly laughed; Noah would blush if he knew the thoughts running through her mind.
“Why are you here?”
“I need to talk to you.”
“Go on.”
“Have you—?” began Noah.
Jessa cut him off. “You have the right to an opinion about this as the father...but no. I can’t do it,” she said , upset that this was what he wanted to ask her.
Noah breathed a sigh of relief. The relief flooded through his whole body, and he visibly relaxed.
“Good. I don’t want you to. I’ve thought about it, and I want us to keep the baby. I know it changes everything; I know everything will be hard, but it’s you. And if I was to do this with anyone, who better than my best friend?” he said, his gaze soft as he looked at her.
Jessa was surprised at his change of mind. She studied him and saw he was completely serious.
“I’m a bit scared I’ll get attached to the idea though, and it actually is not mine,” admitted Noah.
“It’s too long, Noah. I told you the truth. So fortunately or unfortunately for you, you are the only possibility,” said Jessa. “You can get a DNA test if you want.”
Noah considered her words for a moment before shaking his head. “That isn’t necessary. Can I hug you?” he asked.
“I’m still mad at you. You ignored this for weeks. We’re not twenty-year-old kids. The issue won’t go away if you ignore it,” Jessa said.
“I am so sorry. I just needed to get my thoughts in order, to process something so huge for us. Then when I finally realized what I wanted, you wouldn’t take my calls. I’m sorry. I was terrified you’d done what I’d asked you to. I needed to see you to tell you that I want this. I want to do this with you,” said Noah.
Jessa felt her anger fade. She understood it would have rocked what he knew as his life, and there was the other issue of why it had happened in the first place that they’d both swept under the rug. That needed to be out in the open too. She nodded emotionally, and he pulled her into a gentle hug, kissing her cheek.
“I’m sorry for reacting the way I did. It was a shock, and I’m so sorry,” he said into her ear.
“I know. It’s okay. It’s a huge thing for both of us, and at our age it just changes things...a lot. Neither of us wanted this, but that isn’t the baby’s fault. I don’t want our child to feel unwanted,” Jessa said.
“Not the baby’s fault at all. We can do this. We can get a nanny if we want to preserve our schedules,” said Noah.
“Yes, we can do that,” she said.
“Have you been sick?” he asked.
“It’s been horrible,” said Jessa.
“I’m sorry,” said Noah, stroking her cheek.
“It's all part of it,” she said dryly.
He chuckled, kissing her forehead.
“Can we go somewhere? Please? There’s more I want to say,” said Noah.
“I need to finish up here first if you don’t mind waiting,” said Jessa.
“I don’t mind,” he said immediately.
Jessa nodded, glancing at the time.
“They’ll be back soon. You can have a seat where you were. They'll be distracted by you though,” she teased.
“I aim to distract,” joked Noah.
Jessa smiled.
“Can I bring you anything? Are you okay?” he fretted, upset to see how pale she was.
“I’m fine, thank you though,” said Jessa.