Jessa gasped, her hand over her mouth in shock, a few tears rolling down her cheeks.
“I don’t know why it happened now either. I don’t know how to make sense of it. It’s just there. I love you. You’re everything to me, absolutely everything, and no matter what, I will always be by your side,” Noah said.
Jessa was staring at him, her eyes brimming with tears. She didn’t seem able to speak, breaking down further and lowering her head, her shoulders shaking as she cried.
“Jessa...” he said softly, lifting her chin to see her face.
Jessa fell against him, her arms tightening around him, crying into his shirt. He could do nothing but let her cry, letting her know it was okay, rubbing her back soothingly.
“I’m sorry,” she hiccupped, moving slightly. “I’ve wet your shirt.”
“It’s okay; it’s just tears. It will dry. I don’t mind,” said Noah softly.
“We’ve wasted so much time,” said Jessa sadly. “A lifetime.”
“No, we still have time. Lots,” said Noah.
“It’s not even right to be with you yet...it’s not right,” she said quietly.
“I know. I know it isn’t. I’m here, I’ll be waiting,” Noah said, kissing her temple. “Are you sure, Jessa?”
“Sure about what?” she asked.
“This, us. Me,” he said. “Are you sure? I mean, you said things in your marriage weren’t good; are you sure it’s not just that? I don’t know, a rebound, because I’m here and you think I’m a good guy?” he asked carefully. He didn’t want to make her angry; he just didn’t want to open himself up to this amazing possibility, only to realize they weren’t on the same page.
“That’s a fair question,” said Jessa, her eyes on his. “It’s not that and no offense, but I wouldn’t ‘rebound’ with you. You're too important to me. I am not here for just a casual fling. This happened because I love you, and I didn’t control myself.”
“None taken,” laughed Noah. “I’m glad. I just needed to ask I guess. I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. I don’t want you having doubts. Do you think we need to talk to someone first? Get anything else out in the open?” asked Jessa.
“I can’t imagine that therapy session; we kind of royally screwed up here. I just want you to be able to tell me anything,” said Noah.
“We’re still best friends; you’ll always be my best friend,” said Jessa.
“You'll always be my best friend too,” said Noah. “You know that night...” he began, a bit shy.
“Yeah,” she said, raising her eyebrows.
“Best night of my life even though I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do,” he said, a blush creeping into his cheeks and down to his neck.
“Best night of my life,” said Jessa softly. “I’d like to have another...this time without the alcohol,” she added, blushing.
“I’d really like that too.” Noah grinned as he caressed her cheek. “We apparently make babies extremely quickly,” quipped Noah, winking.
“I’ll say.” Jessa smiled.
“I don’t know what to say about that...I didn’t mean to put you into this position. I was on birth control,” she said.
“It’s okay; we fell into that small percentage. I guess everything aligned for us to have to face this,” said Noah. “It’s just terrible that I can’t be with you yet.”
“We should wait,” agreed Jessa. “Not that we waited to do what we did...”
“No, but I don’t want to make things worse for you. I mean...they’ll look at you and blame you, but I’m at fault too,” said Noah.
“They?” Jessa asked.
“The courts,” he said.
“It’s amicable though; we’re not fighting over anything. I moved out. I don’t want anything. I did enough I think,” she said.
“I don’t want to think about him with you. Which I get is stupid, after all these years,” said Noah quietly.
“It’s been over for a while, Noah. Months. We dated it back around four months,” said Jessa.
“I get it was basically over already...I don’t know. It’s stupid to be jealous,” Noah said.
“Especially when I have eyes only for you,” Jessa said with a soft smile, running her fingers through his hair. “How about you? Any girlfriends to tell me about?” asked Jessa, narrowing her eyes at him.
“No,” he said with a smile.
“Friends with benefits? Fuck buddies?” she asked.
“No.” Noah laughed. “I’ve been thinking about you since that night.”
Jessa blushed. “Same for me. I’ve been thinking about you.”
CHAPTER SIX
After having dinner that Jessa only picked at and sitting together to watch a movie, Noah glanced at the time.
“I should be letting you rest, Jessa,” he said, apologetic as he looked down at her resting her head against his shoulder.
It wasn’t even unusual for them, and Noah had to mentally kick himself. All those years as friends, and cuddling with her was their normal. She’d often end up leaning against his chest as they watched a movie, and he’d wrap his arms around her. And neither of them thought there was something wrong with that. He wondered if they’d both been very obstinate or just blind. Now, he dropped a kiss onto her hair, and Jessa tiredly moved out of his embrace.
“I got sleepy, sorry,” she said.
“You need to rest,” he said.
Jessa hid a yawn behind her hand, and Noah smiled at her.
“You are so cute when you’re sleepy,” he said.
Jessa chuckled. “Thanks.”
She kissed his cheek, lingering slightly. “I suppose you need to go,” she said.
“Yeah, see you tomorrow?” he asked.
“See you tomorrow,” said Jessa.
He got up, and she got up too, joining him by the door.
“Have breakfast with me tomorrow?” he asked.
“Morning sickness is worse in the morning, I can’t really manage much,” said Jessa.
“Oh, I’m an idiot. I’ll come by and be with you tomorrow, okay? You don’t need to go through anything on your own,” Noah said, kissing her cheek.
“I’ll look terrible, and you’ll stop loving me,” said Jessa with a laugh.
“That’s possible, eh?” he said, shaking his head.
Jessa smiled, hugging him, and then pulled away.
“Good night. See you in the morning,” she said.
“See you then. Sleep well,” he said. “Love you.”
“I love you,” said Jessa with a soft smile.
Noah gave her a lingering kiss on the cheek before pulling away with some difficulty.
“Bye,” he said, opening the door.
“Bye,” she said.
He winked at her and left, then Jessa closed the door and leaned against it. How they’d managed to refrain from kissing each other she didn’t know, but it was extremely difficult.