Even in the dark, I could see Asa smile.
“That’s good. That’s really good. Lady Gouldian, you are far bigger than your pain and fears. You always have been.”
I nodded, feeling warmth and comfort spread in my chest from his words.
Sighing, Asa stood. I knew we couldn’t remain outside forever. I had to go inside at some point, so I stood after him.
With his arms crossed, Asa regarded Belgrave. “You understand I have to tell your brother about your adventure with Rainey, yes?”
My shoulder sagged with defeat. “Yes.”
Asa gestured to the steps before him. “After you.”
I began to walk toward the front door when Asa called out, “Nat?”
Turning, I saw him at the bottom of the porch steps. “You may become frustrated with me at times, but I promise to always be here for you.”
I smiled. “I know that.”
Just as I imagined, Étienne did not react well when Asa explained why he was walking into his office late last night with me beside him. I was housebound for the next three weeks. When I said that was highly unjust, considering it was my first time ever leaving the home without his permission, he said, “Well, it’s eleven and I know you were in your room at seven this evenin’ so that means you left at eight. You had three hours of rebellious fun. Now you have the pleasure of spendin’ three weeks inside and recallin’ all that fun.”
And now I was here, sitting upside down on the settee in the sitting room and staring up at the details of the ceilings. I had come to many conclusions: if you put a pillow beneath your head, the blood doesn’t rush to your head quite as quickly. I’ve lived far too long at Belgrave to find this colossal estate anything else but prosaic. Yet within an hour this morning, I found myself walking the halls with uninteresting eyes. And for the next three weeks, I missed Rainey terribly. Yes, she had a wicked mouth that didn’t know when to stop. But she was so bold. I would’ve never let Belgrave last night if it wasn’t for her. I wanted half of her boldness. Oh, what I would do if I was in possession of such courage. I would tell Asa how much I loved him. How much I had always loved him.
I squeezed my eyes shut at the thought. No, I didn’t imagine I’d ever be able to say that.
“Dear girl, is this any way to greet a guest?”
I rolled off the side of the settee, my legs tangled in my skirt. When I sat up, I saw Mrs. Pleasonton breezing into the room with complete ownership. She stopped taking off her gloves and flicked a disapproving gaze toward me when she saw I was still on the floor.
Quickly, I stood up and hastily tried to smooth my skirt and shirtwaist. I didn’t take much care with my appearance today and chose my plainest skirt of navy blue and a white shirtwaist to match. If I knew company was coming, I would have chosen a nicer outfit. Confused, I looked to the doorway. Was anyone else here? Better yet, was she expecting to speak with someone else? Maybe she was upset at me and Rainey’s shenanigans from the night before and wanted a private word with Étienne.
“Are you here for one of my brothers?”
“Why would I ever come to visit them?” She gently folded her gloves in half and placed them in her clutch. Satisfied, she looked at me and smiled. “It’s lunch and I am famished.”
She didn’t wait for my reply and called for Ben. He was by her side at once. “Can you please see if the kitchen can make cucumber sandwiches for me and Miss Lacroix?”
Ben dipped his head. “Of course.”
With that business settled, Mrs. Pleasonton turned back to me. “Would you like anythin’ else?”
I still wasn’t entirely certain what brought Mrs. Pleasonton here, but she, along with Ben, watched me expectantly that I felt as though I had to answer. “I- um… last year I went to Kerrison’s Dry Goods and they made this banana split.”
Mrs. Pleasonton eyes lit up with understanding. “Ah, yes. I believe I’ve heard of this ice cream concoction.” She turned to Ben and before she could say a word, he nodded. “I will make sure it’s made.”
“Thank you.”
When he left, she placed her clutch on the end table and looked around the room before her gaze settled on me. “How are you, my dear?”
Thoroughly baffled.
“I am well.”
She shook her head and walked toward me. “That will not do. By the time I leave, I want you to be great. Yes?” Without waiting for an answer, she wrapped an arm around me and guided me to the settee.
“Let’s talk. About anythin’ that weighs on your mind.” She shifted and faced me. “You have my attention.”
A smile of gratefulness curled my lips upward. I didn’t know who spoke to Mrs. Pleasonton, but I knew one thing; she knew of my struggles. Truthfully, I didn’t mind. I wanted to speak to someone so badly about what I felt that her presence was more than welcome.
The humiliation and pain faded as I realized somehow, Asa Calhoun was involved with bringing Mrs. Pleasonton here today. I was certain that if I ever needed him in my life, he would be there.
That’s why I loved him so.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Nathalie
I haven’t seen much of Asa since he walked me home from work a little over a week ago.
Considering we almost kissed, I tell myself it is for the best. I don’t want an apology or profound regret, and with Asa, that is bound to happen.
So why do I care so much that he is going out of his way not to see me? That I haven’t seen him once when my shift is over? That there hasn’t been another offer to give me a ride to walk me home?
Maybe this is the way it had to be. For both of us.
I already have enough to learn and focus my attention on while I’m at work. My call station is next to Leaf’s, and I like to think that because of her, I’m learning at a faster rate. I’m discovering that skill comes with trial and error. I make many mistakes, most of them small. But each time a misstep occurs, I try to spot what I did wrong. I’m determined that, someday, I’m going to be as fast as Leaf with her calls and each day, I get one step closer.
“Nathalie,” Louise says as she walks past me.
I know that’s my prompt to follow her. My switchboard remains active, and as usual, another girl comes over to take my position until I can come back.
I take off my headset and give Leaf a worried glance. She merely shrugs a shoulder. Neither one of us knowing why I was being called out into the hall.
Quickly, I hurry out of the room. I think this is the first time I’m anxious to get back to my call station.
“Hello, Louise,” I say once we reach the hallway.
Louise is all business and only dips her head in greeting before her eyes move to my hair. “You remember the dress code here, correct?”
Instinctively, my hands move to my hair. This morning I didn’t take great care in doing my hair. It’s in a simple low bun but wrapped around it, I can feel the silky material of the bright red ribbon.
I swallow and feel my heart sink to my gut. “Oh. Oh, no. Oh, I’m so sorry. I can take this out right now.”
“I’m sure you can, but I’m afraid I must write you up.”
Before she finishes her words, the said ribbon is in my hands. I stare down at it. Surely, she’s kidding. “For this?”