It felt rather nice when they started talking about Kate. Nothing was planned or even completely appropriate. They told stories that made them laugh and smile, sharing fond memories. Asher’s heart squeezed with longing and mutually remembered joy. It was confusing at first and not how he expected to feel. He leaned forward, dropping his gaze to his feet as he listened to the anecdotes and stories his dad told.
Asher even laughed a few times.
How could he laugh on the very same night his mother died?
Because Cami and AJ laughed too. Jack snorted when he told them how Kate said she was his sister after insulting him. She accused him of strong-arming Erin and Jack remarked how easily she went to bat for anyone she saw in need. Though she remained very strong, the empathy she possessed in spades extended all the way down to her pinkie toe. “She was always strong and kind. An ideal combination that made her a saint—that was Kate.”
“One of my favorite people on this planet.” Asher glanced up and saw Allison. She was speaking from the kitchen doorway. She came closer, touching his head as she passed him. She sat down and said, “I’m so sorry, Asher. She was one of my best friends. I don’t know how I’ll solve my future problems; without running to her for the solutions. Whether they were big or small, she always came up with the right answer.”
“I think many of us echo that sentiment.” Kailynn entered next, with Ian behind her. “She knew how to cut through all the fluff and grasp the details of anyone’s problems or concerns. She went right to the meat of it, and then came up with the most sensible advice to fix it.”
“She let you vent, but only up to a point, and eventually urged you to get your ass on it,” Erin added. “I loved that about her. As a lifelong procrastinator, I waffled until Kate nudged me forward. She was my sister after all these years…”
“I think we all were,” Hailey added. She came in the room and stood by the fireplace. “The first time I met her, I was just visiting. I was so clueless at the time, and she warned me to stay away from her cowboy, AJ. That was all. She let me appreciate how hot and wonderful AJ was, but he was all hers. She was more than ready to be my best freaking friend as long as I knew that AJ belonged to her.” Hailey smiled and laughed, a few tears slipping from her eyes. “And that’s exactly what she became.”
Asher was well aware of how deep and rich their roots grew with the Rydell River Ranch and all who resided on it. Sharing his loss and tears with the other adults so openly and without shame, was good therapy and it helped soothe Asher that night.
At least, he no longer felt alone in his grief.
Bringing up the memories of her, capturing her essence, and viewing his mom through their words, stories and descriptions, some of which he knew by heart, appealed to Asher. That might have been the glue that kept his heart from breaking that night.
For hours, they all talked about and shared their experiences with Kate. AJ even said some words. He spoke often. Much more than Asher was used to him talking.
Eventually, AJ rose to his feet and said, “I need some time alone.”
“We’ll leave now,” Jack said as he got to his feet immediately.
“No. Please, I want you to stay. And come back often. I like the company. I like remembering her with you. I like hearing all the things you loved about her. I just need to—”
Cami grabbed his hand. “We get it, Dad.”
“I’m going to take your old room,” AJ said to Asher before going up the stairs. They all fell quiet as they heard him pause when he passed the master bedroom, and his footsteps slowed.
Asher got all choked up. He had to wipe his eyelids again. “What must this feel like to him?”
“Excruciating. His life seems hopeless and might as well be over. It never stops hurting. I can’t sugar-coat how bad it feels,” Jack answered, although Asher’s question was rhetorical. He glanced up and nodded, since Jack spoke from his own experience, losing his first wife when he was only thirty years old. Then Jack added, “But I wasn’t married to the same woman for three decades. So, it is different.”
“The house feels like it lost its heart,” Cami said finally.
“It did.” Asher’s tone couldn’t begin to convey the depth of that truth.
Worn down, Asher finally rose to his feet. “I guess I need some alone time too.”
“Of course, honey. Take all the time you need,” Erin answered, coming forward. His aunt was always one of his staunchest supporters even when she first met him at age thirteen.
“I’ll come with you,” Daisy said as she got to her feet. There were no comments or furtive looks. It was just so. Whatever anyone needed to do today was acceptable and sanctioned. That seemed to be the overlying theme. It was no longer today, however, but tomorrow. Barely twenty-four hours passed since he last saw his mother.
“Should I drive?” Daisy asked. He didn’t answer as he tossed her the keys to his truck. She took them and drove the dark roads to his isolated, rural ranch. Only the outbuildings had lights, but the rest of the buildings were pitch dark.
“That’s weird. Hunter is staying with me now. Wonder why it’s so dark.”
“I’m sure he knows,” Daisy said softly. “His mom would have texted him. Looks like he cleared out to give you more space.”
They entered the house to find it empty. Just the two of them now. It was well past four in the morning and Daisy’s eyes were rubbed raw from crying so much and lack of sleep. The urgent desire to simply shut her eyes for a few hours was so strong, she had to force them open wider. Her exhaustion overcame her whole body, even her bones.
But she came there for Asher. Oh, Asher.
Asher stood near the counter and took out his wallet. He seemed utterly lost as he stood in the dimly lit kitchen, in the middle of the night, close to dawn, just after losing his mother. It seemed like he entered a new, but horrible world. He needed to sleep. He needed to have a small reprieve from the endless heartache that was sure to follow.
She walked over to him and set her hand on his back. “Come on.” Tugging his arm, she walked him upstairs to the master bedroom. The long years of hard work, sweat and toil, as well as the materials required were all provided by Asher. The drapes were open, allowing the moonlight to provide a silvery path to his unmade bed.
He sat on it with a heavy sigh. Daisy undid his boots. Then she pushed his chest backwards. He flopped onto the bed. She worked his belt and pants, pulling everything off except his sweatshirt. She slipped out of her shoes and pants and snuggled beside him. She tugged on the sheets and blankets, forming a cocoon around them.
Cuddling close to him, she lay her head on a pillow and pulled his head closer until it was right on her chest. He didn’t resist, sliding his hands on either side of her torso and holding on. Lying flat on their backs, they clung to each other. Her fingers idly played with his hair and he didn’t talk. Occasionally, his fingertips on one or both hands sank into the flesh of her sides where he held her. Maybe his thoughts or emotions strengthened his grip on her. Then he flexed and relaxed. That went on until she was sure his even breathing meant he was sleeping.
Thoughts and emotions kept her awake despite her exhaustion. Images of Asher fleeing up the hillside and knowing the pain he had to endure. A turbine of negative emotions swirled inside him. An undying rage gave him the strength to scale the mountain. Daisy knew why. The news traveled fast as lightning. Everyone around her cried. From her father to her sisters and even her brothers-in-law. Kate was a linchpin in the family. Jack’s sister demonstrated both compassion and cool logic, a confidence that made her a dynamic force so central to all of their relationships.