“I’m sure she would,” Asher said, his voice cracking, but his eyes stayed dry too.
Sniffles and surreptitious eye-wiping accompanied the greetings of everyone around them. Some openly cried and others were quieter, choosing to keep their grief internally.
Daisy cried openly. Tears fell from her eyes and rolled off her face and she didn’t bother to wipe them. A giant knot was lodged in her throat, preventing her from speaking and she had snot in her nose from the endless bouts of crying.
“Let’s go. We can’t be late,” AJ said with his shoulders high and pulled back.
Asher seemed to draw strength from his dad’s stoic demeanor. AJ remained withdrawn over the past five days and Daisy realized that Asher needed him. He needed a role model. AJ’s method for dealing with this would show Asher how to do it.
The services were held at the small church where AJ and Kate dutifully attended almost every Sunday during their entire marriage. They watched three pastors come and go. The current pastor knew them intimately. Of course, the venue wasn’t nearly large enough to accommodate all the attendees. AJ insisted on fulfilling Kate’s wishes, keeping the guest list strictly confined to family and very close friends. So many people showed up, however, the small church was bursting at the seams and spewing the attendees out the doors like an erupting volcano gushing lava.
Candles and flowers framed the altar around her casket. It was a full, formal funeral. Everyone grew quiet as they passed by the coffin, some eager to have a private moment with her. The viewing occurred the night before. Many used it as an opportunity to reflect and remember. Daisy did. She watched Asher closely and knew he did not. A body inside a casket was not necessary for his viewing. It was too visceral. Too much to process. To mournful an image. It was a closed casket now. No viewing allowed.
Soft, mellow music, mostly instrumental, played. AJ, Cami, Charlie and the boys were ushered in first and then Asher and Daisy. The opposite pew held Jack, Erin, Ben, Jocelyn and their two girls. Then the rest of the family and other attendees sat down. The pastor commenced the ceremony with a prayer and spoke some lovely words about Kate’s life. Generic comments covered the basics of her life: her birth and death dates, her accomplishments, her career, her successful company, her kids, and finally, her passions and joys. Tears fell like Niagara Falls and there were many sniffles. Daisy didn’t look around but listened closely and knew how much everyone hurt.
Then, to everyone’s surprise, especially Daisy, the pastor said, “And now, AJ would like to speak some words he wrote for Kate.”
Daisy’s heart lurched and a flood of tears instantly filled her eyes. The knot clogging her throat swelled too. Oh, no. She had no idea AJ planned to speak. But after seeing the stunned looks on the faces of Asher and Cami, she realized that no one else knew either until now. AJ never mentioned it. That was classic AJ.
He rose slowly, stiffly, as if his grief now made him visibly suffer from arthritis, even if he didn’t. In the days since Kate’s death AJ had become an old man now. AJ walked with a reverence and care that required more concentration before putting one foot forward, then the other. He stopped before the casket. A collective breath was drawn by the room. Daisy had to turn away. AJ went to the podium and calmly faced them.
He seemed so tall and erect, with his head high and his eyes tear-free. Gripping the sides of the podium, there was nothing written down in front of him.
He scanned the room and made eye contact with many of the onlookers. Daisy guessed it took all the strength in the world to do that in spite of his unending grief.
“Thank you all for gathering here today. To celebrate my wife’s amazing life. And for supporting me and our kids. Our beautiful children.”
His voice wavered a moment on the last part. Tenderness filled his words.
He cleared his throat and began. “I was not sure I could do this. Kate would not believe I could. I never addressed a group or a crowd this large. Never in our lifetime together. Kate was fearless and said it all for me. Always. She was everything to me. My Kate. During the last few days, I wondered how today might be. And one thing became crystal clear to me. There is no one on this earth who knew Kate better than I did. No one can speak the truth about her as honestly as I can. No one can express or celebrate or love the precious human being that Kate Reed embodied better than me. So, I proudly accept that responsibility. No matter how strange it feels and how hard I find it, this is the last thing I can give her. I consider it a priceless gift to stand up here and talk to you all about her. In fact, it’s a pretty easy thing for me to do. She’s the only subject I ever enjoyed talking about.”
Asher’s shoulders shook as he bent forward, and his tears overcame him. Helplessly sitting beside him, Daisy fought the urge to wrap him in her arms. She knew he had to experience this by himself in order to get through it. He had to start here and hit rock bottom before the healing could begin. This was the safest place to crawl out of it. Listening to his father’s eulogy at his mother’s funeral was the true beginning.
Tears and gulps and sobs filled the room. Cami stared up at her dad lovingly with wet eyes. Asher had a harder time retaining his composure, far worse than Cami.
She was too busy memorizing her father and his words.
AJ looked right at Cami and they shared a smile. He nodded and started again, “Kate Reed came into my life when she was looking for her long-lost brother. She was nothing less than magnificent even then, from the very start. Beautiful, sure, but lots of people are. Kate was a bundle of contrasts. She was fire and ice. Bold and meek. She made all this—” AJ gestured to himself, the kids and the whole room, “—happen.”
He described how they met, including many funny moments and sweet details that Daisy never knew. Eventually, Asher stopped sobbing and looked up. He started to listen more closely. He needed to hear his father’s story. A long, wonderful story of a life well-lived. AJ didn’t leave out the hard times and unpleasant experiences. Their love persisted through it all.
AJ’s face was wet with tears as he spoke, except when he was smiling and uncharacteristically animated. The anecdotes he related were honest, funny, sweet, sad, heartbreaking, and tragic. AJ was all alone at the altar as he retold his favorite stories of the woman he loved. Of course, he still loved Kate and always would. No matter what the future held, Daisy didn’t doubt for a moment that AJ Reed’s heart and soul belonged to Kate, alone.
AJ was right too. Being so close to her for so many years, only he could convey her very essence and keep her so alive. At times, it seemed as if he were talking to her from across the breakfast table. The attendees cried, wept and laughed with AJ. Kate deserved AJ’s praise and undying commitment. Daisy was impressed and could not think of a finer tribute for anyone. No heads of state, or presidents, or royalty from far-off kingdoms, could have received more beautiful or heartfelt poetry spoken about them at a memorial. AJ was always the quietest, most unassuming man Daisy ever met. The few times she had a conversation with AJ were usually at Kate or Asher’s instigation. He was just a very reserved man, who never spoke unless he had something specific to say. Now he gave the most beautiful, honest reflection of his lifelong love and soul mate. Daisy could not imagine a more poignant homage to Kate.
Everyone fell under the spell of his calm, deep voice and hushed to avoid missing any of his speech. Alternating from joy to sorrow, AJ revealed his superior intelligence and great sense of humor. The story of Kate Reed’s life affected anyone who knew her. He generously credited her closest friends, those who made Kate happy and filled her with joy, confidence, compassion, and humor.