“You have no idea what hurt felt like.”
He takes a step closer. “I’m hurting now. I’m watching my wife lose everything and you’re the only one who can stop it. Do you understand how hard it is to ask you to do this? How hurting you—again—is killing me? I’m the one who is watching the woman I love drown in cancer and the woman who is half of my fucking soul is with another man and holds the power over it all. I know I’m asking a lot, but please, give her the drug.”
I turn and look at him as though he’s lost his mind. “You can’t ask me to do this, Bryce.”
“I know what I’m asking.”
“No,” I cut him off. “I don’t think you have a clue what you’re asking me to do.”
“It’s you who gets to decide our fate. I can’t . . . I can’t lose another woman because I wasn’t able to give her what she needed.” Bryce’s eyes bore into mine. I see the pain and fear there. “I love her.”
My heart races because a part of me wonders if I should help him, but I know it’s wrong. It’s against everything I took an oath to do.
“And I love you.” I regret the words the minute they leave my lips, but I can’t take them back. Right or wrong, I’ve loved him for close to seventeen years. I know he’s married. I know I have a future with Westin. These things won’t change, but neither will the fact that I will always love him. “You were my first love and that will never change. I love you because I can’t unlove you. You’re a part of who I am, and for that, you will always be in my heart, but what you’re asking me . . .”
Bryce’s jaw clenches and he closes his eyes. “You have no idea how much I loved you, Serenity. None. My love for you was dangerous. I learned from that . . .”
“Did you? Because what you’re asking me to do is not okay. It’s selfish and destructive.”
“No, it’s asking you to find a way to help someone who is innocent in this story. Allison didn’t steal me from you. She healed the broken parts of me. She allowed me to breathe again.” He looks up at the sky and then back to me. “If you ever loved me. If I ever meant anything to you, I’m here, begging you to find a way to help Allison with the promise of the medication you sold her on.” Bryce takes a step closer.
“This has nothing to do with me caring about you. And I don’t want her to suffer either. Believe it or not, I like her, and I’m trying to fix her without destroying everything I’ve built. But what you want me to do . . . if anyone ever found out, it would ruin my life and my career.”
His breathing accelerates and he starts to speak faster. “No one would have to know. You don’t even have to say anything, just listen.”
No, no, no. It is crazy to even think about switching the medications. “Stop,” I beg. “Please, just stop.”
He grips me with both hands, holding me so I can’t move. “Wouldn’t you have done what I’m doing for your mother? Wouldn’t you ask the doctor to just give her the medicine if you knew it could heal her?” Bryce’s fingers let me go, but he stays close.
“Don’t!” I put my hand up, pressing against his chest. “Don’t compare this to saving my mother.”
The sad part is, he’s right. I would’ve done anything to save her. Asking her doctor would’ve been the least of the lengths I would’ve gone to. My mother’s cancer tore Bryce and me apart. Am I really willing to be the person who does this to him again?
Life is coming full circle and once again I stand at the crossroads of an impossible situation.
Bryce takes a step back with tears in his eyes. “Just think about it, Ren. You’re the only one who can make this right for all of us. If you could heal her, then I could . . .”
“You could what?”
Both hands slide through his hair and he lets out a loud groan. “Then maybe all the pain we’ve gone through would be for something. You could help Allison and in turn save me. I just feel like there’s a reason we’re here—because it wasn’t just to torture each other. We’re different people, but we were once something pretty amazing, and I loved you with everything I had.” He looks away with clenched fists. “This isn’t the way I thought this would go. I just wanted to talk, and I was desperate. I can’t and I won’t ask you to do this. You’re right, it’s selfish and wrong. Forget I even said anything.”
Forget he asked me to switch medication for Allison? Forget that he told me he’s torn up too? Forget what? Because all I’ve been trying to do the last few days is forget. How I’m going to handle weeks of this is beyond me. I keep waiting for it to get easier with time, but each day is a new version of hell.
Bryce looks over my shoulder, closes his eyes, and sighs. “Great. This will go over well.”
I turn to see what caught his eye and Westin walks toward us, crossing the street as Bryce and I stand on the sidewalk. Everything inside of me is tense as he approaches.
Both men look at each other, and I can almost taste the spike in testosterone. Westin reaches me, wraps his arm around my side, and kisses my cheek. “Hi, baby.”
“Hi,” I say with my teeth chattering. If only it was the cold air that was the cause.
Westin, being the sweet man he is, pulls me closer, rubbing his hand up and down my arm to warm me.
“You’re her patient’s husband, right? We met the other day,” Wes extends his hand.
Bryce shakes his hand and nods. “Yeah, you’re the doctor.”
“Yes,” Westin glances at me and then back to Bryce. “Do you guys know each other?” he asks.
“No,” I say quickly. “Mr. Peyton happened to find our hidden gem here. I ran into him and we were talking about his wife’s condition.”
Now, more than ever, Westin can’t be suspicious. He’s advising and monitoring my trial and if he’s tipped off even a little, it’ll be all for naught.
His eyes meet mine and then move over to Bryce. “Just funny, this is twice now and both times you two have been pretty heated.”
“You know how it is,” Bryce says offhandedly. “She’s my wife, and when you love someone, you do things you wouldn’t dream of in any other circumstance.”
His words are meant to be about Allison, but I hear more than that. He’s asking me to do what he came here to ask me. To save Allison. To give them the life they’re both desperate for.
“I understand, and it’s fine.” I’m not fooling anyone, but I know the second part of this argument is only going to get worse the longer we stand here.
Westin’s arm tightens slightly. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I’m sure Dr. Adams is doing everything possible.”
Bryce’s denim colored eyes meet mine and I watch the pain flicker. “I’m sure she is. Excuse me,” he ducks his head. “I’m going to check on Allison.”
He walks off and now I pray I can find a way to convince Westin it’s nothing like it seems.
“Did you eat?” I ask quickly, still shaking from the cold and adrenaline.
“Ren, you can’t tell me that isn’t weird.”