“That sounds about right. What are we going to do, Tanner?” she asked softly.
“Let’s take a seat.”
“Is it okay if we don’t sit on the bed?” she asked as she looked at the small loveseat I had in the corner.
“Yeah. Sitting on the bed with you will be a little difficult.”
“Really?” she asked, surprise in her voice.
I ran my hand through my hair and couldn’t help but watch the way her gaze went to the muscles on my arms.
Well, then.
“Natalie, let’s just get this out of the way.”
She swallowed hard. “Okay.”
“I want you. I’ve wanted you from the first time I saw you. You’re beautiful, intelligent, and funny—or whatever order you need that to be in. I like you as a person, and I don’t regret the fact that we slept together. I can’t because it was fucking amazing, although the circumstances of everything is twisting me up inside. I liked having sex with you. And if we weren’t in the middle of whatever the fuck we’re doing now with you being pregnant, I may want to have sex with you again.”
“So, we’re just going to be blunt then?”
“Being secretive and sneaky isn’t my thing.”
She snorted.
“What?”
“Being secretive and sneaky is totally your thing. You don’t tell anybody what you do for a living. You act growly around anybody who gets too close. We know nothing about you other than the fact that you lived in a small town over an hour away from here. You say that you’re the bad boy from the wrong side of the tracks or whatever the hell you said that one time you were drunk with Miles, but we know nothing about you, Tanner. You’re good at pushing people away. So, yes, you are the secretive guy. And that’s fine. You don’t need to tell us everything about yourself, but don’t pretend you’re an open book. People who say they are, are the most closed-off.”
I scowled and shook my head. “That’s not true.”
“It is. And I’m not saying you should tell me everything. Okay, maybe you should tell me some things because I would love to know more about you, considering we are having a child together, but you don’t need to bare your soul to every single human you meet. You also don’t need to hide in the corner and pretend the world is against you.”
“I don’t understand you,” I whispered.
“I don’t understand me, either; it’s sort of why we’re at school. To figure out who we are.”
“I thought we were at school to get degrees so we could get fucking jobs.”
“That’s also true. But there’s this whole time in your twenties when you’re supposed to find the path you want to take and change your mind. Some of us may have the privilege of changing our minds more than once, but look at us. We’re pregnant. There’s a baby growing inside me. That completely changes any path I thought I would be on.”
Guilt swamped me. “You’re not going to do this alone. I mean, I know we’re not together or anything, and I don’t know what I have to offer, but I won’t just leave you.”
Tears filled her eyes, and I felt like an asshole all over again. “Natalie,” I began, and she shook her head.
“No, every time you say something like that, it only makes me weepy. But in a good way.”
“Weepy’s good?”
“I know you’re close with your mother. You have to understand that.”
I cringed. “I used to be close with my mother. Not these days.”
She opened her mouth to say something but then stopped. Maybe she was right. Maybe I wasn’t that open book I pretended to be.
Shit.
“I’m keeping it, by the way,” she whispered, and I blinked.
“You mean...?” I whispered, pointing to her stomach.
“Yes. That. I thought about my choices. This will change everything, and I have no idea what I’m doing. My family will likely hate me and try to punish me for it, but I’m not going to put this baby up for adoption or anything like that.”
I nodded before reaching out to tuck her hair behind her ear. “I’m here. I guess I need to make plans.”
“My parents are judgmental. They’re going to want me to get married and come home and raise the baby with them. And go with every plan they make for me.”
I winced. “They can’t make you do anything.”
“I know that, Tanner. But they’re very forceful. And I love them. I know it sounds like I don’t sometimes, but I do. They love me, too, and only want what’s best for me, even if they keep trying to set me up on dates with near-forty-year-old men.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Excuse me?” I growled.
“It’s nothing. Seriously. I’m not dating any of them. And no one’s going to want to date me out of that subset once they find out I’m pregnant.”
“With my kid,” I snarled.
“Yes. Something we did together. That we’re going to have to deal with.”
“My mom will probably be ecstatic, mostly because she loves babies. She wanted more after my brother and me, but then Dad died, and she pulled away from everything.” I swallowed hard, and Natalie reached out and brushed her fingers along my jaw—just a sweet caress from someone who cared. I had to wonder why we just clicked.
“I’m sorry.”
“He got hit in an IED blast in Afghanistan. Times were tough for a while, but the scholarship for school really helped. And then, well, you know what job I do now to send money back home. Mom needs help, so I’m doing what I can.”
“You’re a good son.”
“I don’t think she’d feel that way if she found out I’m a stripper who got the girl who isn’t my girlfriend pregnant.”
She flinched. “That’s going to put a bit of a damper on everything.”
“She’ll get over it quick, though—mostly because she does like babies. But the guy she’s currently dating? He’s going to be a real asshole about it.”
“What do you mean?”
I hadn’t wanted to bring this up. I didn’t know why I did. There was no going back now, though. “My dad’s friend practically moved in on my mom right after the funeral. He’s an asshole and is the reason I moved out as quickly as I did. They’re not married yet, but I know it’s only a matter of time. You just can tell with those things, you know? He’s a fucking loser, and while I don’t think he’s violent, he probably could be. You know when you can just feel that?”
She bit her lip and nodded. “I do. I’m sorry.”
“Me, too. So, that’s who I am. The kid who grew up on food stamps for most of his life and strips for money so my mom doesn’t have to remain on them. It sucks, but I plan on getting a good job to make up for all of that. I have a line on a company—through Dillon’s connections, actually. They are going to hire me right out of college as long as I keep my grades up. I can use them as my internship.”
“The Montgomerys?” she asked, grinning.
I rolled my eyes. “It seems like everybody knows the Montgomerys.”
“It’s true. And that’s great. See, there’re plans. And this doesn’t have to change that.” She pointed to her stomach, and I scowled.