As if I were waiting for her. But I shouldn’t be. Just because it was within walking distance didn’t mean this was the place for me.
I hated myself just a little bit then, and I knew that I only had myself to blame for it. Of course, the others would blame me for what had happened with Natalie. I blamed myself. I’d given in to temptation, and now Natalie would have to deal with the consequences. Yes, I would be there. I would do what I could. But she and I were barely figuring out if we wanted to be in a relationship. And I didn’t have to go through the pregnancy, birth, hormonal issues, or anything else that had to do with having a baby. That was all her. I could merely stand by and tell her I’d be there for her—even if that wasn’t enough.
That was all on her. And I hated myself a little bit.
I looked up at the small, two-story house the girls lived in and scowled. I didn’t like the place. It was run-down and not as big as the last home they’d lived in. When we helped move the girls in after they had left their last house, I had told the guys that I wasn’t fond of the place. While they had all agreed that it wasn’t as good as the last one, real estate was in high demand here. It wasn’t like they could do anything about it.
I sighed and figured maybe I should go to the library or something. I had work to do, and if I was going to skip out on my responsibilities, I might as well do something. I had to work later, but I was on the late shift, so it wasn’t as if I needed to be there right now. The boss didn’t like it if we hung out at the club when we weren’t on duty. It took away from the people on stage, according to him. While I sometimes agreed with it, I kind of wished I could go and talk to JC. The other man would be able to help me through this new hell going on in my brain.
Footsteps sounded behind me, and I turned and scowled.
“I can’t believe you just left like that.”
I blinked at Natalie. “Of course, I did. I wasn’t wanted. What are you doing here?”
“Are you serious? I live here.”
“Fine,” I grumbled, knowing I didn’t have a leg to stand on here.
This was her place. I was the intruder.
“Come inside. The others are going to stay away for a bit and give me some space.”
“Natalie.”
“No. I’m angry.”
“You have every right to be angry. I left. I was an asshole.”
She turned on me as she stood on the doorstep, her eyes wide. “You were an asshole, but you don’t need to apologize to me for it.”
I blinked, confused. “What?”
“You don’t need to apologize to me. They treated you like crap just now. Of course, you’re going to be angry about it. You didn’t need to stand there and have them act like it was all your fault.”
“It was my fault,” I grumbled.
She scowled at me, huffed out a breath, and turned to unlock the door. I had installed the lock a few months ago, and it was holding for now, but they needed a new door. However, I knew the landlord wouldn’t do anything about it. The whole place was decrepit, and the power went out more often than it should. The electricians they had gotten out here to take a look swore the place was up to code, but I didn’t know if I quite believed that. I was truly afraid that something bad would happen one day, and I wouldn’t be here to help.
Not that the girls should call me. After all, I was the guy who took advantage of sweet, innocent virgins and got them pregnant.
“Stop,” she growled.
“I kind of like it when you growl,” I teased, not even aware that I was going to say the words until they were already out of my mouth.
She narrowed her eyes at me. “Yes, you’re adorable. Seriously, though, Tanner. Stop acting like it’s your fault. We both decided to have sex. We were careful. However, we were not careful enough. It is not your fault that I’m pregnant. It’s our fault. And we both decided to deal with the consequences.”
“And yet, I was the one with the experience. You weren’t.”
“You don’t have experience in being a father or dealing with pregnancy. Yet you’re the one giving me crackers and holding my hair back. And all while I couldn’t tell anyone else that I’m having a baby. You’re the one gaining experience in dealing with a pregnant friend or girlfriend or whatever the fuck we are to each other while going to college.”
I blinked. “You curse often. When you do, it always surprises me.”
“Shit, fuck, damn, every other curse word you want to think of.” She smirked. “I’m allowed to say them. I’m having a baby.”
“So, you’re going to curse in front of the kid?” I asked, knowing that I was losing my damn mind.
She huffed out a breath. “You exhaust me, Tanner.”
I sighed and tugged her through the house. She had said that the roommates would give us some time, but I didn’t know if I believed that. I figured either they would come here and force her away from me so they could ensure that she was truly safe from my nefarious purposes, or they would come and want to apologize. That wouldn’t give us enough time to talk things out and figure out what the hell we were going to do. We needed privacy. She let me pull her down the hall and up the stairs to her room. I could have propped her over my shoulder and carried her, but I wasn’t sure what that might do to the baby. I was only partially through the baby book that Natalie had given me, and I was a little afraid to finish it. It was a lot more detailed than expected.
“Okay, you’ve locked me in my room with you. The last time we locked ourselves away like this, this happened.” She pointed to her still-flat stomach, and I shook my head.
“We didn’t lock the door last time. Hell, we didn’t even close it.”
She blushed. “That’s true.”
Anybody could have walked in.
“I know that’s supposed to be bad, but it’s kind of hot.”
I groaned, my dick standing at attention. “Are you serious right now?”
“I don’t know if I’m serious right now. I don’t know anything.”
“Neither do I, but the roommates are pissed off. What the hell are your parents going to think?”
“My parents have nothing to do with this,” she said, raising her chin. I laughed outright.
“You’re serious? That’s what you’re going with?”
“They don’t have anything to do with this baby.”
“They’re going to have everything to do with it. They’re going to blame me for daring to touch their pretty little princess.”
“Fuck you, Tanner. I’m not some spoiled little rich girl. Get over yourself.”
“And I’m not the poor boy from the wrong side of the tracks. Although, sometimes, it sure does feel like it, doesn’t it?”
We stared at each other, and then she leaned forward and put her finger against my chest. She pushed slightly. I could barely feel it. “Cute.”
“Screw you.”
“We already did that. And look what happened.”
“Tanner. Seriously. We’re going to be co-parents. And yet you keep kissing me. I don’t know where we are in our relationship or what’s going on, and I’m scared. I need you to be on my side here. To be the sane one.”