I used to be good at talking with humans. Not anymore. I completely lost all sense of that when I got with Natalie. Or maybe even after the first time I saw her.
“You look beautiful. Thanks for making it easy for the night. I’m glad you’re here.”
She looked up at me then, her kiss-swollen lips parted. “I guess that works. You look sexy, Tanner.”
The word sexy coming from those formerly innocent lips nearly sent me over the edge. I was in a perpetual state of hardness when it came to Natalie Blake, and she only had herself to blame.
“Let’s head out. If not, I’m going to pull that dress up over those sexy-ass hips of yours and see what you’re wearing under there.”
She grinned. “Well, then. Good to know this pregnancy bump hasn’t changed anything.”
“That’s an image that’ll get me through dinner.”
I grinned and put my hand over her stomach. It was such an inherent gesture that I hadn’t realized I was doing it until I was already there. I had touched her stomach hundreds of times at this point, both of us talking to the baby because that’s what the books said to do. We were going in blind and trying to find our way through. In this moment, it felt far more intimate than anything we had done before, though. I swallowed hard and met her gaze. “Hi.”
“Are you speaking to the baby or to me?”
“I think both of you.”
“That works. Hi.”
“Now, are you speaking for the baby?” I teased.
“I have no idea. Maybe one day I’ll learn.”
“Sounds like a plan to me.” I leaned down and, once again, brushed my lips gently across hers. “Let’s head out. We don’t want to miss our reservation.”
The place was small, a little run-down, but the food was excellent. They were packed, and though it wasn’t a high-end restaurant, they still took reservations. I hadn’t minded since we had planned this, but it still felt as if this were a far more meaningful date than it should be. If anything got too deep, it would hurt like hell once things ended.
I slid my hand along hers, brushing my fingertip across her knuckles. She smiled up at me, no words needed. She had her hand on her bump, and I wasn’t even sure she was aware that she was doing it. We linked our fingers together and just stood against one another, waiting for our table to be called.
“I do love a young couple in love,” an older woman said from the corner. There were only two small bench seats in the waiting area, and we had allowed an elderly couple to take one while two older women took the other. Natalie hadn’t minded standing in her heels, but if we didn’t get our table soon, despite having reservations, I would carry her down there. She would likely hate to be the center of attention, but she was wearing goddamn heels. That couldn’t be good for her back. Was it even good for the baby?
Suddenly, the woman’s words penetrated my thick skull, and I cleared my throat. I looked down at Natalie, who blushed and shrugged.
“They don’t need to know everything,” I whispered, and I knew I had said the wrong thing.
We weren’t in love, we were only having a baby. Out of wedlock.
With no emotions other than fear and turmoil between us.
Great going, Tanner. You’re a fucking idiot.
“I guess they don’t know anything,” she grumbled. I leaned down and kissed her again.
“Sorry.”
“What should you be sorry for? We’re only on a date. As co-parents.”
“Natalie,” I whispered.
“Let’s not talk about it.”
“Maybe we should.” I hadn’t realized I had said the words until she looked up at me and pressed her lips together.
I didn’t know what to say, or what I should do. If I bared myself to her, Natalie was nice enough to stay and not hurt me. And that was the problem. Once she left, I’d break, but she would stay to protect me, because that’s who she was. She would stay because she thought it was the right thing for the baby.
I couldn’t let her do that. I needed her to make decisions without my feelings getting in the way.
“Tanner?” a voice said from behind us. I froze, my entire body turning to ice.
This couldn’t be happening. This wasn’t supposed to happen.
“Tanner?” Natalie whispered, and I squeezed her hand.
“I’m sorry,” I said, the only warning I could give her. I turned as my mother looked at me, a bright smile on her face. There were dark circles under her eyes as if she had been working too much. But why was she here?
“Tanner, I didn’t know you’d be here. I’m so excited to see you. It feels like it’s been ages.”
I still held onto Natalie as my mother hugged me, and I used my free arm to hug her back.
“Look at you, looking all spiffy. And you’re on a date. How embarrassing for me to be here and run into your girlfriend. But I can’t help it. I want to meet her.” Mom bounced on her toes, and though I had never mentioned Natalie, and this could have been a first date for all Mom knew, she had stars in her eyes. Always had. It was probably why she was still with Jared. And speaking of Jared, I noticed he towered behind her, glowering. Cody stood beside them, and I felt another kick to the heart. They were here for a family dinner, at the café near my place.
And they hadn’t called or asked to see me.
Why did I feel immense relief that I didn’t have to spend time with Jared, yet felt as if I had been kicked and thrown out because they hadn’t even bothered to ask if I was free?
“Hi, I’m Natalie,” Natalie said as she turned slightly, hiding part of her body behind me. I knew she had done it on purpose.
She held out her hand, and my mother gave me an odd look before reaching across us to shake. “It’s so lovely to meet you. But I’m a hugger. Sorry. She turned and moved to hug Natalie, but she suddenly stopped, her eyes wide.
“Oh,” my mother whispered, and I groaned.
“Mom, this is Natalie. Natalie, this is my mom, Isabella. And this is Cody, my little brother.” I said as I reached out to fist bump Cody’s outstretched hand. My brother gave me a broad smile but didn’t move forward. After all, Jared had his hand on my little brother’s shoulder, holding him back.
I wanted to rip that arm out of its socket, but I refrained. Only just.
“Tanner?” my mother asked, confusion in her tone. “Is this…? What’s going on?”
Everyone was looking at us now, and the maître d’ had wide eyes as if afraid we might make a scene. And knowing my family, it was possible.
I cleared my throat. “Let’s get out of here and give everyone some privacy,” I said, and Natalie squeezed my hand. “That sounds like a great idea. It was nice to meet all of you.”
“Really? You’re just going to hide your girlfriend like that? Got her all knocked up and everything. I should have known you’d be a fucking loser,” Jared spat.
You could have heard a pin drop in the restaurant. I held back a growl, doing my best not to say anything. Because if I did, I’d likely punch him. I’d ruin everything and there’d be no holding anything in anymore.
I would show Natalie who I was and ruin every chance I had of mending fences with my mother.