“I’m going to tell them soon,” I said, my voice firm. “I have dinner with them next week. That’s when I plan to tell them. Yes, I’m pregnant. And, yes, I’m keeping the baby. Yes, I have a plan.”
“I can’t believe you’re pregnant,” Victoria muttered, shaking her head.
“I can’t believe you finally opened your legs for someone,” Karen mumbled, sipping the rest of her champagne. She snapped her fingers at the waiter and dinged the glass. “Excuse me. More. You know your job.”
I blushed and groaned. “Karen.”
“Don’t do that. Just because I have the name of every little bitch out there doesn’t mean I’m a bitch. Right?” She pointed at the waiter’s nametag. “Right, Jeff? I’m not a bitch.”
The man smiled softly, poured more champagne for everybody—including me, even though I hadn’t asked for any—and walked away.
“We see he didn’t answer.” Samantha snorted.
“Oh, fuck you. Don’t harp on me. Let’s talk about this one.” She pointed at me. “Natalie is finally letting loose and is now knocked up. Look at you. I thought you’d go out and want to get married and have kids and have a real career. Now what? Who’s the father? Anyone in our circles? It better be. Because if it’s not, your mother’s going to kill you.”
They all started talking at once, going through guys from our school—half of them I remembered as assholes, the other half I didn’t remember at all.
I just shook my head and set down my napkin, my champagne untouched. “It’s no one you know. But we’re working on it. We have a plan. Please don’t tell anyone. I need to be the one to tell my mother.”
Janice snapped her fingers once, and everyone quieted. She narrowed her eyes and nodded. “You may not feel like you’re one of us anymore, and maybe that was always the case. You always thought you were too good for us.”
Pain sliced through me, and I opened my mouth to speak, to deny everything she’d just said, but Janice held up her hand.
“It doesn’t matter. We all grow up and find our paths. You’ve clearly found yours. And, no, we’re not going to tell a soul. You know the rules of our group. You may want to leave, and you’re more than welcome to—you already did when you decided to go to that college of yours. But we won’t tell. We won’t break our code. Your mother will find out from you, and you’ll have to deal with the consequences, just like you seemingly are now. We won’t have anything to do with it. Congratulations on the baby. When you want a baby shower, come to us. Because I don’t think your new friends can handle it.”
They all stared at me, and I grew cold, wondering why in the hell I had thought coming out today was a good idea. I stood shakily and smiled. “Thank you so much for keeping our code. I’m sorry for bothering you today.”
“No worries. This will be great gossip fodder whenever you tell your parents,” Victoria chided.
“Of course. Anyway, I should head out. I don’t want to dim your party as the non-drinking one.”
“I guess we would always have a designated driver if you were around while pregnant,” Samantha said as she chugged the rest of her champagne.
It seemed this was going to be a liquid brunch. I felt bad for the waiter.
I left a tip on the table even though I hadn’t touched anything but my water, waved at the other girls who didn’t bother to wave back, and walked away, leaving that part of my life behind.
They were all planning the rest of their lives. But that would include luncheons and charities and nannies and everything I had growing up.
That wasn’t who I was anymore.
At least, that’s what I thought. I wasn’t one of them. Maybe I never had been. But I wasn’t sure who I was supposed to be now, either.
I drove back home in silence, annoyed with myself for going at all. Saying yes had been an automatic response, but I regretted it.
I knew they wouldn’t tell anybody about the pregnancy, but my entire former world would know just as soon as my mother heard the truth.
Natalie Blake got pregnant out of wedlock by a man not of their circles.
I hated that they would look down on Tanner.
I didn’t. I never had. Only they would. The girls and the others in my circle of former friends would make him feel like crap, and it would be my fault. Those were the people I had once been a part of. The circles I had grown up in.
I might have tried to find a new Natalie and all of that, but was that the case?
Had I changed?
Here I was, keeping secrets from my family, Tanner, and myself.
“Get in here,” Nessa said from the doorway as I looked up from where I stood beside my car.
“What?”
Nessa smiled softly. “Get in here. You’re back early, but we figured you wouldn’t want to stay long with those girls. Come on.”
I sighed, relief flooding me. I picked up my bag and walked inside, toeing off my heels as I did.
“You know you look sexy as hell in those high heels, but they also look painful,” Nessa said as she hugged me tightly, kissing my cheek. I hugged her back.
“I can’t believe they used to be my friends,” I whispered.
“They weren’t friendly those few times we met them, that’s for sure,” Elise said and winced. “Sorry, it’s the truth.”
“No, they’re far bitchier than I ever remember them being,” I grumbled as I sat on the edge of the couch. “And I’m hungry. I’m always hungry, and I didn’t eat anything.”
“We made food,” Mackenzie said as she brought out finger sandwiches and other high tea cakes and appetizers.
Tears filled my eyes, and Elise cursed before holding me close. “We wanted to make you happy.”
“You knew I’d be back early?”
“We knew you would probably be hungry because brunches with those women usually involve a lot of alcohol. And you always gripe that you’re hungry.”
“Really?” I sighed at Nessa’s words. “Why didn’t you remind me that I hate them?”
Mackenzie sighed and tapped my knee. “You don’t hate them. You might now, after whatever happened today, but you didn’t before. They are your past. We’re your now. That baby is your future. And we’re going to be the best aunties and uncles. We’re here for you. We promise we’ll help you.”
“What am I doing?” I asked, looking down at my hands. “I have no idea what I’m doing. These past couple of months flew by, and we keep saying that we have our futures intact. But those are the futures of an adult, not a pregnant adult.” I kept rambling, my voice getting higher-pitched.
Nessa made me a little plate. “Quick, eat.”
“Thank you,” I whispered as I bit into a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
“We have some more upscale sandwiches, too,” Elise added dryly. “But we wanted peanut butter and jelly. You can’t go wrong with PB&J.”
“You really can’t,” I agreed as I devoured it. I sipped the water they handed me and sighed. “What am I doing with Tanner, you guys? We just fell into each other. And we’re not talking—at least not about the important stuff—and I have no idea what I’m doing.”