Anna gives me a nod as she rests her hands across her growing belly. “Tell me what it’s like?” Wes says.
“What do you mean?” Anna answers.
“Never mind.” He tosses the now empty bottle to the other side of the couch before he sits down.
I walk over and place my hand on Anna’s shoulder. “Can you place an order for coffee for us and have my father on standby?”
She whispers, “I can do that. Is he okay?”
“No. Just make sure my calendar is clear. Thanks, Anna.”
She rests her hand on my arm before quietly leaving and closing the door. I follow close behind and turn my blinds, so we have as much privacy as we’re going to get. His posture is something I rarely see. He’s completely disheveled. Even after the gym he’s ridiculously put together. He didn’t shave today, which is completely unusual and he’s day drinking.
I lean back against the side of my desk to face the couch he’s on. He’s rubbing his forehead repeatedly so hard he’s leaving marks. “Do you want to talk about it? I’d assume yes since you’re here. Is the baby okay?”
“She’s gone, Eli.”
My stomach drops with those three words. I’m staring at Wes hoping he’ll keep going, that he’ll elaborate. He doesn’t. She’s gone lingers in the air like a layer of smoke. I have to peel it back in the hopes of comforting him.
I leave the perch of my desk and walk over to where he’s sitting. He’s fixated on his hands. He’s picking so hard at his thumbnail I can hear the vibration from his body sitting next to him. I lay my hand over his in an attempt to get him to stop. “When did it happen?”
“This morning.”
“Jesus. I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry.”
“So you didn’t know?”
My head cocks slightly to the left with his question. “How would I know?”
“You really have no idea?”
“I haven’t spoken to anyone. Tell me how I can help you.”
“I don’t think you can, brother. It’s over.”
“Does Hannah have a support system to deal with this? She must be beyond devastated.”
Wes’s head turns, his eyes stare hollowly at me from the corner. “What does she have to do with any of this? No wait, scratch that. You warned me. You told me and I blew you off.”
“Okay, wait. Did Hannah lose the baby?”
He shoves my hand away. “No. Fuck no.”
“You said she’s gone. I thought you meant the baby.”
“Hayley. Hayley’s gone. She packed up all of her things while I was sleeping and left. I don’t even know where she is. I’ve texted dozens of times. I’ve called her phone; it goes to voice mail. I thought she might be here then when she wasn’t, I tortured Anna. I need to tell her I’m sorry.”
“Anna will be fine. She’s worried about you. Back up. Hayley took all of her things?”
“That’s what I meant by I thought you knew. I figured she’d tell you.”
“I haven’t talked to her since we dropped you both off last night.” I reach inside my jacket pocket for my cell. “Dylan would have told me if Hayley had reached out to her. Let me call my mother.”
Wes leans over and drops his elbows to his knees. His head hangs low against his chest, as his hands shape over the brim of his faded Yankees ball cap. I watch him shake his head and mumble to himself the entire time my phone is ringing.
“Hello, dear,” my mother says.
“Hey, Mom. I think I already know the answer, but is Hayley there?”
“Let me guess, Wesley is with you?”
“Yeah. It’s not good, Mom. Do you know what happened?”
“Some. Hayley’s done a lot of crying and cuddling close to me. I’ve convinced her to take a hot bubble bath. She’s in her bathroom soaking right now. She’s very down on herself and very sad. I don’t want to push her. I’ve called an acquaintance of mine, Dr. Beck. She’s a licensed therapist. Hayley’s agreed to go see her this afternoon on an emergency basis.”
“I’m glad. That’s a needed step. Mom, what do I do here?”
“I’m assuming you’re asking me what to tell Wes?” she asks.
“Yes.” Please, Mom, give me anything to help.
“Hayley is going to need time. She’s made it very clear that she doesn’t want to see him right now. Even though it breaks my heart, I think it’s for the best. They will have to gain closure at some point. I just can’t say when that might be.”
“All right, Mom. Okay. I’m going to stop by later before I head home for the evening. If anything comes up between now and then, will you call me?”
“You know I will, darling. Hug that sweet boy for me.”
“I will. Bye, Mom.”
I take a breath to collect my thoughts to give something to my best friend, who is in so much pain I can feel it shedding off him in waves. In that moment, he gets up off the couch and goes to stand, facing out the window. He stares out at the skyline. I toss my phone down next to his empty whiskey bottle. Rounding the back of the couch, I slide my hands into my pockets, waiting and hoping he will say something.
“She’s with Lil, right?”
“Yes. She’s safe. I think she needs time, Mav. Let me go over there tonight and see if I learn anything. Mom and Dad are still reeling too from California. There’s just a lot right now. Don’t give up hope.”
“Don’t worry about me. I always bounce back.”
Wes turns away from the rain falling outside like every drop burns his skin. He walks past me, stalking toward the door. Just as he puts his hand on the handle, he pauses with a statement I don’t think I will ever unhear.
“I just wish I didn’t always have to.”
He opens the door quietly and leaves down the hall. I call out to him as he nears reception. He doesn’t look back. The last thing I hear after the elevator ding is silence.
I just wish I didn’t always have to.
Me too, Mav. Me too.
Chapter 21
Dylan
Anna came to my desk right after Wes left. I thought I’d heard his voice before I went into my meeting. I kept checking my phone over and over again to see if I’d receive a text from Eli. I only remember bits and pieces of the meeting. I’ll have to apologize for that later. Right now, I can only focus on our little family that’s falling apart.
When I realize Eli’s calendar has been cleared, and I have an opening in my day, I hobble down to his office to check on him and ask what happened. His door is closed to a small crack. I push it open with the rubber on the bottom of my left crutch. He’s standing, staring out the window overlooking the city.
I look over my shoulder at Anna. She nods her head as if to say he needs you and you won’t be disturbed. Once I’m beyond the door, I use the same rubber tip to close the door. The handle cradling in the latch breaks his trance.