“I’m never going to get married,” Madeline announced, followed quickly by an indignant noise from Charlotte.
“You should want a wedding—” An argument was about to erupt in the back seat right as Calder was walking toward the car. I whistled sharply and held up a hand.
“Enough. No one is getting married. It’s just a guest for dinner.”
That was all it could be. A friendship, some benefits we both enjoyed, but only a friendship. And then he smiled right at me as he slid into the passenger seat and my whole body heated, like I was standing in front of the woodstove at the cabin. Friends didn’t usually invoke such a visceral reaction, but maybe we were simply...warm friends.
“Hey.” Calder’s smile widened as he buckled up. No kiss, but I almost felt like I’d received one with him radiating so much joy at seeing me. “Hope you weren’t waiting long.”
Only my whole life. Damn it. Why couldn’t I have met Calder five years ago? Or three years from now? Or any other time when feeling like I’d waited my whole life for someone like him to come along inspired happiness, not dread.
“No, it was fine.” I swallowed back all that internal drama, gave him a return smile. “Gave us a chance to have a nice chat. Now, let’s get to cooking at home.”
“Sounds good.”
It did. And that was why I’d invited him. Oh, I’d let him think he was doing the inviting, but I’d been more than okay with the idea after another day spent craving his in-person presence. Cooking with him after a long day sounded lovely. Someone to chat with while the girls got settled with homework and electronics. Someone to appreciate my cooking. Someone to smile at me like he did.
And maybe not someone in the vague “anyone will do” sense, but someone like Calder specifically who joked with the girls and who made the transition to the dinner routine easier, hanging up backpacks and chasing down pencils while I quickly changed out of my dress shirt. He even lined up ingredients while I settled the girls with their homework assignments at the dining table.
“Ooh, fancy sauce tonight.” Calder held up a bottle with a gold lid that I’d picked up at a specialty store some time back.
“Shush.” Glancing back at the dining area, I dropped my voice. “I’m hoping they don’t notice it’s not the basic marinara they usually insist on.”
“I won’t tell.” Calder smiled as I stretched. Even the switch to more casual clothing hadn’t eased my mood much. “You doing okay? You seem tense. Did me coming over add to your stress?”
“No, you’re my stress relief.” I might not like needing him, but there was no denying that I was calmer and happier around him. “It was a day. Like you said about yours. I’ll be glad when it’s the weekend.”
“Tell me about it.” He touched my shoulder as I grabbed a pot for the pasta.
“Well, first, we got off to a late start because of missing shoes.” The pantry was the bright spot in the chaos that was living with kids. Somehow a pink sneaker had gone missing, and of course, Charlotte had needed that pair, no substitutes.
“We can do their closets as our next project if you want.” Calder made the offer like he was truly looking forward to the challenge. “Fewer missing items.”
“You’re the best.” I’d probably turn him down. I couldn’t keep taking advantage of his organizational skills. However, I didn’t want to start an argument by refusing right then. Instead, I admitted to another one of my stresses. “Then one of my favorite patients took a turn for the worse health-wise. The one I had to take the call for over the weekend. The patient won’t be able to stay at home much longer. It’s an expected part of my job, helping patients and their families navigate those transitions, but it’s still hard.”
“I bet.” Calder moved to rubbing both of my shoulders, and it felt too damn good to make him stop. The girls were already done with homework and had scooted off to the lower level to the TV. “What else went wrong?”
Damn man was a clairvoyant. I groaned and leaned more into him. “And I had to deal with Tim’s lawyer on the final property tax numbers. I directed him to my lawyer, but it still was a hassle my day didn’t need.”
“How much longer until everything is actually final as in done and over?”
“The divorce decree has been final awhile now.” That was part of the stress. We were divorced. That part of the ordeal was supposed to be behind us. And yet the headaches persisted. “This should be the final request for modification. I hope. I’m ready to move on from all the money talk.”
I was ready to put Tim in my rearview, get back to my life with the girls and being happy, not so stressed all the time. Heck, maybe I’d even take Calder’s and Gabrielle’s advice, look into some way to be involved in the performing arts community again that wouldn’t take me away from the girls too much.
“I hope it’s the last time you hear from them too.” Calder dropped to a knee in front of my wine chiller. “Which of these should I open to go with the pasta?”
“Oh, I probably shouldn’t drink.” I waved away the suggestion even though I was sorely tempted to share a glass with him. Introducing him to new wines was fun, and he wasn’t wrong about me needing the relaxation. “It’s a weeknight and I’ll need to run you back to the ferry and—”
“And you had a day.” He looked up patiently at me, not moving from the spot. “That’s reason enough. I was already figuring on finding my own way back because you’ll need to do bedtime for the kids. But you deserve to unwind a little after a day like that.”
“You do make a good argument.” Somehow I always seemed to give in far too easily around him. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, he was part of why I was ready to move on, but the one thing I was not ready for was figuring out where Calder fit into my plans for future happiness. Best to focus on tonight only. “Grab the second bottle on the top right.”
After handing him a wine bottle opener, I retrieved two wineglasses as he smirked. “I’m good at being persuasive.”
He was. And the glass of wine definitely did the trick, eased the cooking time and smoothed the transition to eating dinner with the girls. I was still nursing my first glass at the table, nowhere close to tipsy, simply relaxed and happy to be sharing a meal with the kids and Calder. The atmosphere was so cozy and natural I had to keep reminding myself not to get used to it. Moving on from Tim without counting too much on Calder felt like the key to balancing all my conflicting emotions.
“Did you like your new after-school program?” Calder asked the girls. The pleasant warmth in my chest that the wine had started continued to build watching him making an effort.