“I’m crossing everything. And call anytime. I’ll keep the phone with me tonight in case you or your friend have more questions.”
“Thanks. You’re the best. I’ll keep you posted about how it goes.” After I ended the call, I made a large grocery order for delivery using an app on my phone. Then the load of laundry was ready for the dryer, so I went and handled that while waiting for the delivery. Another message came in from Max while I was switching out the laundry.
Dude. I was going to fold in this last game, but decided to play like I was you. Went for it. Scored big.
That’s awesome. I sent the reply even as my brain churned on the notion of winning big and thoughts of Felix, not poker. What would it mean to be all-in with Felix? I’d told him I wanted to date for real. Was that enough? I had no clue what Felix’s answer was going to be when we finally got to finish our talk, and Max’s message underscored how out of my depth I really was here.
I might be a hell of a poker player, but none of those skills seemed applicable now. With poker, no matter how high the stakes, I never bet more than I could stand to lose. This thing with Felix might be a little different though. Maybe I had to take a lesson from Max, be more willing to play outside my comfort zone. Be willing to lose. And that really was the question. Was I prepared to lose this round or was I playing it safe, taking only risks I knew I could win?
Chapter Thirty-Four
Felix
Calder stayed. I shouldn’t have been surprised. Anyone who could make it through sub school was totally stubborn enough to ignore my protests that I would be fine if he left.
And I would. Fine was subjective anyway. At that moment, late on Friday evening, fine was no one needing urgent care. Every sign pointed to a simple stomach virus and neither girl was dangerously dehydrated. I did need to get fluids into them though, which was how I encountered Calder in the kitchen.
“I thought I said—”
“I heard,” he said mildly, not reacting to my crankiness and setting a basket of clean and folded clothes on the counter. “This load is done. How’s the laundry situation upstairs? Bedding okay?”
“Even with the bowls, at least one set of sheets is toast,” I admitted, searching the fridge for a drink the girls might keep down. “Damn it. I thought I had some electrolyte drink in the back here.”
“It’s on the way.” He kept the unflappable tone as he fixed a glass of water and handed it to me.
Huh. Apparently I was thirsty. I took a long swallow as I tried to make sense of his words. “What is on the way?”
“Electrolyte drinks. Juice. Ginger ale. Broth. Mom gave me a list. I added a delivery app to my phone and made an order for you since I don’t have a car here to go to the store myself.”
“You ordered groceries?”
“Yep. I nabbed the last order window for the night, so it should be here any minute. Until then, Mom said to try super-weak herbal tea. I brewed some to cool.” Moving around the kitchen, he retrieved two plastic cups and filled them from a pitcher near the stove.
I blinked, then shook my head to clear it. “You made tea?”
“No big deal.” He shrugged and stuck straws in the cups. “You had peppermint tea bags.”
“Well, I appreciate it.” I wasn’t sure how to even begin to say thank you for all he’d done. Gabrielle’s car. Laundry. Groceries. Tea. Being here. Mainly that last one. He kept showing up, even when I tried to send him away. I still wasn’t convinced that I was what he needed or wanted long-term, but short-term I had to admire his tenacity. “I’ll pay you back for the groceries.”
“Felix. It’s some drinks and cans of soup.” He made a dismissive gesture. “Now, about that laundry. Why don’t I come upstairs with you, help you change the bedding?”
“Okay.” I gave up pretending he wasn’t a huge help and drank the rest of my water. “I have a feeling both beds could use it at this point.”
“They’ll sleep better with fresh sheets.” He handed me the two cups of tea. “You dispense the drinks and check their temps, and I’ll swap the sheets. Mom said fever and dehydration are the big worries.”
“Smart mom. So far only Madeline has a fever and it’s not too high.” I was impressed that he’d thought to call his mom for me. I knew that their relationship could be somewhat strained, so him going to her for advice felt significant.
Leading the way up the stairs, I showed Calder the linen closet in the hall before taking the tea to the girls, moving them to chairs so Calder could change the bedding. I helped him with the far corners on Madeline’s canopy bed as he snapped the sheets into place.
“The navy sure taught you well.”
“Navy? Ha. My dad hated us making extra work for Mom. When he was home, every Saturday was cleaning, and pity the poor kid who didn’t pay attention to the lessons and do their share.”
“You had a schedule?” Madeline asked from her perch on the padded armchair in the corner of her room. “I like schedules. Like what you made for the cabin. That was cool.”
“Yup. I’ve got organizer genes.” Calder laughed. “If Uncle Felix wants, I could make a chore chart for you like what we had growing up.”
“That sounds cool.” Madeline burrowed into the blanket I’d draped around her.
“I should have thought of that before.” I was always trying to do everything myself, involving the girls on the fly. My cheeks heated. I should have known Madeline wanted a chart.
“Don’t be hard on yourself.” Calder put a steadying hand on my shoulder. “You’re still figuring out what works. Cut yourself some slack.”
What worked was him helping and giving suggestions, but my spine still stiffened at the thought of relying on him. He said I could trust him to stay around, but I wasn’t so sure. And no matter what he said, I wasn’t at all comfortable with him making big career moves with this relationship in mind. That was a recipe for disaster.
Maybe we can be scared together. His words had rung in my ears all evening, even while dealing with the girls. I couldn’t give him the answer he wanted. And yet my stomach twisted at the thought of sending him away for good. I didn’t want to need him, yet I was increasingly terrified I already did.
“Charlotte’s room next?” Calder asked after I helped Madeline back to bed and tucked her in with a book.
“I’m waiting,” the small dictator called. Despite the upset stomach, Charlotte was still Charlotte and was far perkier than Madeline. We found her in the rocking chair in her room, feet swinging back and forth. “I want the pink sheets.”