His nostrils flared, his eyes burned with the same hunger I was fighting, but he looked as happy about it as I was. “I brought you something.” He held out the wrapped gift.
“I don’t want anything from you.”
“I wish I could say the same.” He leaned in and I flushed from head to toe. “You have no idea how much you matter to me.”
Trying to stay strong, I said, “Because you’ve shown me I don’t.”
“No, I’ve shown you that there are parts of me that still need work. I pulled away from my family when I couldn’t deal with not knowing what they needed from me. I pulled away from you when I realized I’d failed them.”
I retightened the towel around myself. I understood the first part. It was the same reason I didn’t call home to check on my grandparents even though I loved them. I didn’t know what they needed from me, but I knew that somehow, inevitably, I always disappointed them. The second part? I didn’t know how to feel about that. “Things didn’t go well with Dominic?”
“Do you want to hear about it?”
I did, but inviting him in was also inviting the possibility of more and . . .
“We don’t have to talk tonight.” He bent and placed the gift he’d brought for me next to the box of his things, then straightened with the box in his arms. “I’m still renting a room at—”
Judge me all you want but I grabbed him by the arm, dragged him inside, and closed the door behind him. He dropped the box. I dropped my towel.
He lifted me so my legs wrapped around his waist. I wound my arms around his neck, and we kissed like waves crashing into the shore. There was no holding back, no way we could even if we wanted to. This was primal, cosmic, a storm one couldn’t hold off—only ride out and hope they survived.
Between kisses, I whipped his shirt up and over his head. He kicked his shoes off then shed the rest of his clothing without putting me down. Each movement caused muscles to ripple between my thighs and me to hang on tighter.
He trailed kisses down my neck, over each of my breasts and back to my mouth again. Whatever anger I had left in me was suffocating beneath wave after wave of pleasure. My body was in glorious overload. His hands were strong and sure. Our kisses tasted like a fulfillment of everything I’d thought was impossible.
Nature didn’t care why he hadn’t called me.
I was eager for him when the tip of his cock slid across my wet sex. More than eager. I met his first thrust with one of my own—slamming him deeply into me. He moved to brace me against the wall. Together, we went wild. I dug my nails into his lower back. He pounded into me relentlessly, gloriously—deeper and deeper as I soared toward climax.
We kissed. We cursed.
He told me he’d missed me.
I told him to shut up.
I didn’t want to think about why giving myself over to the pleasure of him might not be wise. No one else had taken me so completely. It was impossible to think of anything beyond how good he felt in me, all around me . . .
He slowed his pace, bringing me to a tearful, wild orgasm then bringing me there again, all while holding his own pleasure back. I was still shaking and clinging to him from my second climax when he groaned and came.
Still wrapped around him, he carried me to the bedroom and lowered me to my feet beside the bed. A moment later, he returned with a warm washcloth. I took it from him and wiped myself down before turning to toss the cloth behind him onto the tile in the bathroom. Regret for not using a condom would have to wait until I sorted other things out. We stood there without speaking or touching for several minutes, then I picked up a pillow and swung it at his head. “I’m so mad at you.”
He blocked the pillow with a hand. “I know.”
I released the pillow and he let it drop to the floor. “What just happened does not mean you’re forgiven.”
His eyes burned into mine. “Okay.”
I frowned. “It’s not okay.” I pushed at his chest until he took a step back. “Nothing about any of this is okay.”
He simply held my gaze without speaking.
Tears filled my eyes. “You weren’t supposed to be like Robert.”
“I’m not.” My only consolation was that he looked as hurt as I felt. “I fucked up, but not the way he did. I would never cheat.”
The memory of all the offers he had waiting for him on his computer came back to me then. “You’ve given me no reason to believe you.”
He nodded slowly. “I haven’t shown you my best. Even tonight, I should have apologized and left.”
Shame nipped at me. “I ruined that plan.”
He brought a gentle hand to my cheek. “You didn’t ruin anything. I did. You have been nothing but good to me. You deserve much better than I’ve given you.”
“I do.” I folded my arms across my stomach protectively. “I was finally happy. You are not allowed to come in here and destroy that.”
His face tightened as if my words had caused him physical pain. “That’s the last thing I want to do.” I told myself the anguish in his eyes was well deserved even while I fought back the desire to wrap my arms around him and tell him it would all be okay.
I needed to stay strong. “You hurt me.”
“I know.”
“I don’t know if I can forgive you.”
He let out a slow breath.
I continued, “Or trust you again.”
“Do you want me to go?”
I should have said yes. What we’d just shared should be chalked up as goodbye sex. Really, really good goodbye sex. “No,” I said in a hoarse voice. Without meeting his gaze, I walked to my bureau and began to dress. “But put some clothes on.”
I didn’t turn to see how he felt about that but did hear him walk out of the room. Would he keep walking straight out the door and out of my life? I had no idea.
Feeling less vulnerable, dressed in a T-shirt and shorts, I headed out to the living room. Kal was dressed again, shoes and all, standing beside the cardboard box. When he looked up, he said, “Jade—”
I raised a hand in plea for him to stop. “Don’t apologize again. It won’t change anything.”
He lifted and dropped a shoulder. “What do you want?”
I rubbed my hands over my eyes. “I want you to have not blown me off for days when you knew I was waiting to hear from you and worried.” His silence confirmed that that was an unrealistic request. I sat in one of my chairs next to the couch and pulled my legs up in front of me, wrapping my arms around them.
He moved to sit on the couch beside my chair and waited.
I took a deep breath. “What happened when you went to see your brother? You did go to see him, right?”
“I did.” He ran a hand through his hair and sat back. “He flew me up to Martha’s Vineyard then I took a helicopter to a yacht he had offshore.”
“And?”
“He told me I remind him of everything he doesn’t like about himself.”
“Harsh.”
“Somewhat deserved. Most of what I was angry with him about was not his fault. He didn’t hurt my mother. I was the one who stopped talking to my family when things got complicated. I lost my temper when I realized he knew more about what is happening back home than I do, but that has more to do with me being a shitty brother and son than Dominic being a danger to anyone.”