It’s good cold (right out of the fridge), too. That’s how Jessica likes it. It seems I’m always catching her eating it right out of the Tupperware with a spoon.
Enjoy.
PARMESAN CAULIFLOWER
DIFFICULTY: *Yawn*
TIME: 30 minutes, including eating it.
What you’ll need from the cupboard: A cookie sheet and a sharp knife. A large mixing bowl. A serving platter. A spatula with a sharp edge.
What you’ll need from the pantry: Olive oil. Garlic salt. Paprika. Powdered cayenne pepper. Salt. Pepper. A head of cauliflower. 1/2 cup of grated parmesan cheese. Pam Cooking Spray.
This is one of the few things in the world of eating that’s healthy and actually tastes good. I’ve never had anyone turn their nose up at this dish, and I’ve served it to many. The only trick to cooking this is that you have the flat edges against the cookie sheet when you broil it.
This ensures the edges get caramelized well, and it’s that process that provides the nutty flavor you’re after.
Let’s get started.
Preheat the oven to 450, because this is going to be ready to cook in a quick.
At the base of the stem, cut the green leaves away from the head of cauliflower.
Discard the greenery.
Cut the cauliflower into pieces that have flat edges, making each of them the size you’d prefer to eat. Toss the pieces in the mixing bowl. As you cut it up, little pieces of the florets will break off and bounce around.
Gather them up and toss everything in the mixing bowl. With the exception of these marble-sized pieces, give everything a flat edge, if possible.
After the entire head (don’t waste anything, including the stem and heart) is cut and in the bowl, drizzle about 3 tablespoons of olive oil over it.
Toss by hand.
Spray the cookie sheet with Pam.
Transfer the cauliflower to the cookie sheet, placing everything flat side down.
Salt and pepper liberally.
Sprinkle a little dust from ALL of the above spices on everything. A light dusting. Yes, everything.
Slide the cookie sheet into the oven and change the setting to broil.
Broil on high for about 12 minutes, or until the bottom edges are browned. This will give a texture that’s cooked well, but not so tender that it’ll fall apart.
Scrape from the cookie sheet with the sharp edge of the spatula in a brisk motion, using caution not to scrape away all the browned bits.
Transfer to a large platter (in one layer) and sprinkle parmesan cheese over everything.
Serve immediately.
This goes well with damned near everything. From steaks to sandwiches, you can’t go wrong here.
I often eat a head of cauliflower prepared like this for a meal.
It’s that good.
Enjoy.
FOIL POTATOES
DIFFICULTY: Slice. Heat. Eat.
TIME: 40 minutes
What you’ll need from the cupboard: A cookie sheet and a sharp knife. A large mixing bowl. A serving platter. A spatula with a sharp edge.
What you’ll need from the pantry: A head of garlic. 2 sticks of salted butter. Salt. Pepper. 2-3 large potatoes. 1-1/2 cups of grated cheddar cheese.
The first time I ate these, I was on a construction site. We were building a new prison at the time and I was managing about 100 men, several of which were traveling welders. I was 25 years old.
One day at about 10 am, I drove from my office to the jobsite. In the distance, I could see that one of the welding trucks was on fire. I drove to it, only to find what appeared to be two barbeque grilles welded to the bed of the truck in question. The smoke was bellowing out from under one of the lids.
I gestured toward the barbeque grilles. “What the fuck is this?”
A man was in an eight-foot-deep ditch beside the truck, welding a piece of pipe. A ponytail dangled to the middle of his back. He removed his welding hood and looked up.
He squinted at the sun that was rising above my shoulders. “Foil taters, Boss.”
I realized most of the men brought their lunches. The jobsite was twenty minutes from any restaurant, making going out for lunch nearly impossible for the men working on site. Eating at 10 am wasn’t acceptable, though.
10 am was time to work, not time to eat.
I glanced the grille and then at him. “You’re cooking potatoes at 10 in the morning?” I asked, trying to be the hardened boss that I’d not quite yet become. “A little early for lunch, isn’t it?”
“They’re not potatoes,” he said in a sarcastic tone. “They’re foil taters.”
I had no idea who he was. Many of the men had been hired through the jobsite superintendent (my father) and had only been working onsite for a matter of days. He was one of the few I had yet to meet.
“At 10 in the morning?” I asked.
He pulled off his welding cap and gave me a look. “I ain’t eatin’ the fuckers ‘till lunch, Boss.” He glanced at his half-finished weld. “If you don’t mind, I’m gonna get back to work. I’ll partake of the taters at dinner time if that’s alright with you.”
I tried not to smile at his smart mouth. “Sounds good to me,” I replied with a nod. “Enjoy them.”
At about 11:30, I drove to the only restaurant within driving distance and picked up a hamburger I’d ordered over the phone. Upon returning to my onsite office, I found a foil package next to my notepad. Beside it, there was a handwritten note.
Mister Scott’s Taters —>
I laughed to myself and opened the package. Steaming hot goodness stared back at me. I ate them with my fingers, enjoying each slice immensely.
I later got the recipe from Jackie.
He became one of my best workers and stayed with me for nearly ten years. When he departed, he left with me many fond memories and a plethora of recipes.
*tips hat*
“Thanks, Jackie.”
Okay. Here we go.
Preheat oven to 450.
Lay out two equal pieces of foil approximately 18” long, side by side. Spray the upward face of each piece with Pam cooking spray.
Wash each of the potatoes. Slice no thicker than 1/4” thick. Cut slices in half. Cut a few of them in quarters.
Salt and pepper the potatoes.
Lay the sliced potatoes on one of the pieces of foil. Spread flat (just don’t leave them in a mountain).
Smash and chop 6 cloves of garlic very fine. Sprinkle the garlic over the top of the potatoes.
Cover it with cheese. All. Of. It.
Cut each stick of butter into about 8-10 slices. Toss all 20 or so slices around the top of the potatoes.
Cover the entire mess with the other sheet of foil, with the edge you sprayed with Pam down.
Pull the edges of foil together and fold twice around the entire perimeter, sealing the package well. You really need it sealed, because the potatoes are going to steam to cook.
Place on the cookie sheet and cook for one hour at 450.
If you have access to a grille, grill on high for 40 minutes.
Let sit for 10 minutes before tearing a hole in the top to release the steam.
These are the best fucking potatoes to eat with a thick slide of fried ham, a steaming wad of pulled pork, or a few slices of brisket. They go just as well with a skillet steak as they do anything.