“We knew this time would come eventually.”
“But… you promised you wouldn’t, so no, in fact I didn’t know it would come,” I argue. “What about Dillan?”
His calm and uncaring expression doesn’t change. “I’ll see him when I can.” And the promise? I get no apology for his breaking that?
“You’re kidding,” I breathe, grabbing at my stomach like I’ve just been punched. “Please tell me you’re kidding.”
“Do I look like I’m joking to you?” He hisses and holds his hand out, motioning for me to leave.
“Is this because of what happened?” It suddenly dawns on me. “You’re doing this on purpose, pushing me away to stop me from finding out whatever it is you’re keeping buried.”
“No,” he sighs and rubs his face with his hands. “This is because I’m bored of playing daddy and loving husband to a woman who…” His jaw clenches and his words stop.
“Look,” I lean onto the desk. “If this is because I… it’s just… gah. I mean…” I won’t ask again. You’re more important to me than whatever the hell it is that’s ruining our bubble right now. “I won’t bring up the envelope again, I swear. Just let me be here for you.”
“It’s not about that,” he says, almost sounding bored. “I’m over that. I made a serious misjudgement and I won’t be making it again. The envelope has been dealt with.”
“I don’t believe you,” I state defiantly. This is rubbish, utter rubbish. I’m not falling for it and I’m not letting him push me away.
“Guinevere…”
“No.” I walk around the desk and kneel on the ground before him. My body is aching with a pain I don’t recognise. It hurts, a lot, and I need it to stop. I grip his knees and peer up at him through my lashes. “I promise I won’t ask and if I do happen to find out, you have my word that…”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” he snarls, his gloved hands pulling at my wrists in an attempt to get me to release his legs. Why’s he wearing his gloves again?
I stand immediately and take a large step backwards, seeing that he needs space. “Okay.” My hand goes to my throbbing chest in an attempt to stop my heart from smashing through my ribcage and throwing itself out of the closest window. I try a new tactic. “I know what you’re doing and you know that I know what you’re doing. It won’t work. Do your worst. If you think I’m leaving you when you’re clearly going through something that’s dragging you down, you’re wrong.” I give him the bravest face I can muster. “You’re my best friend. Besides, what happened to never stopping until you had me? Does that no longer count?”
“No.” He clears his throat and waves me away. “This was a misjudgement made by me. I thought we should have been more. In reality I’d just deprived myself of sex for too long.”
Why does this hurt? Why do I want to smash something? “Oh.”
“I’m seeing somebody.”
Eye roll. “Oh yeah? Who?”
He continues like I haven’t even spoken. “So I’ll need you to leave. It was awkward enough when I had Lorna visiting while you remained here and she didn’t mean anything to me.” His eyes darken and his lips curve with a sneer as he looks me up and down like I’m a chip in comparison to a steak. “Aisha is a woman of… class.” Ouch. I’m guessing she’s the steak then. “It wouldn’t suit us to have another woman around, especially my brother’s fiancée and his...” He hesitates for a moment, his eyes straying from mine. “Bastard child.” I heave at his words, a fierce pain tearing through me.
He’s doing it on purpose but that doesn’t make it sting any less.
But what if he’s being serious? What if I’m wrong?
No. I’m not wrong. I can see it in his eyes, he’s playing me. He’s forcing me out.
Why though?
“It’s not going to work,” I whisper angrily, my fists clenching by my sides. “I get what you’re doing and I’m telling you now. It’s not going to work.”
“I’m not playing a game, Guinevere!” Nathan shouts and carefully puts the papers in a folder. I see that they’re just pictures of his jewellery, nothing important. I’m guessing he’s using them as a diversion to limit eye contact with me, another reason I know he’s lying. “Accept it and be on your way. Be grateful I’m not charging you for the amount of money you’ve spent since arriving.”
My temper spikes, my chest tingling and my stomach twisting as I wrap my head around whatever the fuck this is.
“How dare you!” I spit. “I never asked for anything from you; you offered everything willingly. Stop doing this. I’m not leaving. You’re just causing me unnecessary hurt!”
“As you wish,” he laughs cockily. “But when you meet Aisha, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
My head shakes back and forth angrily. “If she even exists.”
His eyes darken. “She does.”
“Then I’ll calmly explain to her that I don’t believe a word you’re saying!”
“Believe it.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I cry, my eyes burning. “I’m going back to bed.”
He shrugs and places the folder in the drawer. Now he has to look at me and I hate the cold stare aimed my way. “I’m not being cruel. I’m being honest.”
“Yet another lie. I won’t accept it. I don’t accept any of the crap you’ve just said.”
“Then don’t accept it,” he shouts, his face turning red with anger. “But if you know what’s good for you and Dillan, you will.”
“Fuck you, Nathan.”
“Language.”
“You can’t tell me what to do anymore,” I laugh incredulously. “You’ve just lost that right. And if you honestly think I’ll be pushed out of my home because of some stupid secret, then you’re wrong. Don’t you think this is all a bit backwards? You’re pushing me away when that’s the thing you’re trying to prevent?”
Nathan lets out an exasperated breath. “Now you’re being ridiculous. Listen to what you just said. Why would I push you away to protect myself from your hate?” He has a point. Is he being serious about all of this? I can’t tell anymore.
No. I won’t talk myself into believing him.
Not unless he’s being a martyr and forcing me to hate him so that I escape some other kind of hurt. What though? I need to know.
Just leave the room, Gwen, just leave it and speak to him tomorrow.
“I don’t want to listen to this anymore.” I wipe the tears from under my eyes with the back of my hand. “I’m going back to bed.”
“I don’t want you here anymore, Guinevere.” His voice sounds hoarse, dare I say pained? “Take the car and I’ll even pay for Dillan’s private schooling when he’s older.”
I laugh humourlessly and walk to the door. “No thanks.”