“Then tell them to let me see Nathan,” I choke and rub my eyes with my hands. “I just need to see him.”
She nods and places her hand on my wrist. “I’ll see what I can do.”
Mum grips the scan picture to her chest. “Are you sure you don’t want to see?”
I nod, rolling onto my side. “Not without him.”
“Okay baby.” She strokes what’s left of my hair and somehow… I fall asleep.
******
“Mr Weston!” I hear somebody shout, startling from my sleep.
He’s come to finish the job, hasn’t he? He’s come to finish me! Mum grabs my hand when she sees my panic and the curtain flies open.
Oh my god.
“Nathan,” I sob and he moves towards me before gathering me into his arms. He looks terrible, maybe even more so than me. “Careful, don’t hurt yourself.”
“I’m okay,” he grunts, his voice sounding nearly as rough as mine. He holds my face in his hands and kisses me deeply. His arms come around me once more. I wince at the blisters along his left arm and move away from them. The hospital gown he’s wearing isn’t tied at the back and I see white tape and cling film type material stretching over his shoulder and around the side of his neck. My heart shatters and it takes everything I have not to cry or freak out. “We’re okay.”
“You stupid man,” I try to shout, but end up coughing up a lung. “You shouldn’t have come in after me.” He ignores me, his hands moving my arms and gown, searching for any burns. “I’m fine. I swear.”
“The baby?” His wide eyes come to mine. “Is the baby okay?” I nod and my mum holds out the scan picture for him to take. He sits on the bed, his back to my knees and stares at the tiny black and grey square in his hands. I avoid looking at his back. I daren’t look at it right now. I’m too scared of how I’ll react when I see it. “I’m so sorry, Gwen.” He turns back towards me, wincing when he stretches his back. “I’m so sorry for doing this to you.”
“It doesn’t matter.” I shake my head and this time take his face in my hands. “It doesn’t matter anymore. I love you.”
His lips slant over mine and his arms hold me tighter than ever before. “I thought you were dead… the staircase collapsed. I couldn’t get you out. I tried, but the back of my jacket caught flame and I couldn’t risk that happening to you.”
My eyes widen and my heart accelerates. “I don’t… I don’t know what to say. I just… your back.”
“It’s just skin,” he whispers, his nose running along mine. “It doesn’t matter. We’re alive.” His eyes water and he swallows, his long, perfect neck bobbing with the motion. “You’re pregnant.” He smiles and lets out a laugh. “You’re pregnant.”
“I wasn’t… I’m so sorry. I should have told you.”
He shakes his head, wincing slightly when the material on his back crinkles. “No, it’s my fault. What I did was unspeakable.” He runs his fingers through the short parts of my hair. I must look horrendous. “You look beautiful.” He can clearly read my mind. “I think it’ll suit you short.” I don’t care. Hair grows; skin, when burnt, doesn’t. I deserve to suffer more than just a loss of hair. “When Jeanine called me and told me she could see smoke, I don’t know why but I just knew, I knew you were there and…” He shuts his eyes for a minute. “When I heard your voice… god, Gwen, I’ve never been so scared…”
“It’s okay, we’re okay, we’re safe.”
“Christ Gwen.” He presses his lips to mine once more, his kisses wet and desperate.
“You look stupid in a hospital gown” I joke, making him laugh, which causes him to go into a coughing fit.
He grins, his eyes tired and shining with love.
“Okay, time to go,” the doctor says, taking Nathan by his arm.
Giving me one last kiss, he stands and follows the doctor to a waiting wheelchair. He looks at it, glares at the doctor and walks around it. It’s not until now that I see just how large the burn is. The white gauze covers half of his back from the top of his shoulder to the bottom of his ribs. Then there’s part of his neck that’s also covered.
I place my hand to my mouth and stifle a cry. My mum instantly holds me and tries to soothe me. “He’s fine, Gwen. He’s fine.”
“It’s my fault,” I whimper watching him until he vanishes from my sight. “It’s all my fault.”
CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT
“Will you stop fussing?” Nathan snaps, his eyes narrowing on me. “I’m fine. I don’t need help.”
I sigh and run my fingers through his hair. “I didn’t say you did need it. It’s just what I want to do.”
He smiles up at me, but it’s squished due to the fact he’s lying on his stomach and his cheek is pressed against the mattress. “Okay, fine, fuss away.”
I flick his nose and stroke my fingers along his good arm. “Thank you.”
“You know that this isn’t your fault, right Gwen?” He says softly, entwining his fingers with mine. I kiss his hand and press my forehead against it. He hasn’t worn his gloves since the tragedy that almost took our lives. It’s only been ten days and he didn’t get released until yesterday. I don’t want to draw attention to the fact that he’s touching everything with his hands because he doesn’t seem to have noticed yet.
Fortunately the burn, which they thought was all third degree, was only third degree in the lower ten percent and the top twelve percent. The rest will heal nicely, but the third degree will require skin grafting to fix it.
“Did I tell you yet that I love your hair? You look older, sexier.” He walks his fingers up my arm until they reach the ends of my jaw length bob, which gets higher at the back. I have to admit, I like it too. It’s so much easier to manage.
I smile and kiss the palm of his hand.
“What are you going to do about the house?” I ask, not wanting to bring it up. We have to address it sooner or later.
“I’m tearing it down and selling the land, or maybe I’ll build another.” It sounds like a good idea. “Sasha called this morning. She wishes to speak with you.”
“I know.” I’m not angry at her for what she did anymore. How can I be? If I can forgive Nathan, she deserves my forgiveness too. Everything is just so raw and difficult right now. “I’ll call her tomorrow.”
He smiles and presses his lips to mine.
“Could you do me a favour?” His fingers dance along my collar bone and over the curve of my breast.
“Anything.”
“If I roll onto my side, could you…” He nods towards the bottom of the bed.
I look there, but can’t figure out what it is he’s referring to. “Huh?”
“You know…” He rolls onto his side and nods to the end of the bed again.
“Still not following.” I lean forward and kiss the good side of his neck.