“I want her transferred immediately!” The doctor jolts with the sudden response. He tries to open his mouth to protest but I stop him quickly. “Don’t you dare tell me how qualified you are here! I want her in the best hospital, with the best doctors until I can take her home.” Gritting my teeth, he doesn’t pursue it further. He nods his head before walking away.
“Her memory is gone?” Nikolai speaks but not to me, it’s more to himself.
“Not everything is gone,” I snap. I’m on edge. I’m teetering once again between the heaven in that room and the hell that is my life, especially with what I’m ready to do.
“She will get better, Cord. I know she will.” Nodding, I turn away from him and head back to the room. I can hear Jordy’s voice before I push the door open but when I hear Ava’s, I almost fall to my knees.
“You’re going to be fine now, Ava. Cord will take care of you.” Her little laugh stills my heart. I have to force my feet to move when they don’t move on their own accord.
As soon as I step into sight, her eyes find mine. Those blue seas of pureness that I’ve always seen shine just as bright now as they did before.
“You’re really here?” Her words slice through me. I swallow hard. Jordy turns and walks past me, slapping my shoulder on his way out.
“I’m really here,” I say softly. Tears fall down her cheeks. I can’t take it anymore. I move to her side in a few short strides, leaning down, pressing a kiss to her head. Her tears turn to sobs. They tear at my heart. They tear at everything that I have in me.
“No more tears, Ava. I will seek revenge on every single person that hurt you.” The sobs suddenly stop. I pull back to look at her, but her face is a blank mask.
“That’s why you’re here?” she asks. I don’t understand what she means.
“What?” Confused, I pull back a little further.
“Is that why you’re here? You came here just so you could seek revenge? Is that all that matters to you? Death?” It’s as though a knife was plunged into my chest. She’s wounded me.
“I came for you, Ava. You couldn’t possibly think that I would let whoever did this to you get away with it, did you?” Her eyes sparkle with unshed tears.
“I don’t know, Cord. I don’t remember what we were before. Jordy said that you loved me, but I don’t know if it’s true.” I gasp. I can’t believe it.
“I do love you, Ava. More than you know.” Caressing her hair, she shakes her head.
“I don’t know that. I don’t remember that! Get out! Just get out!” I stammer backward like she slapped me. She doesn’t want me anymore. I’ve ruined every single chance that I had with her.
She lays there in front of me, but she doesn’t want me.
Chapter 35
The days crawl by. I don’t like being in unknown territory but here I am, and all for Ava. She hasn’t spoken to me either. I sit in her room in silence. We had her transferred, and I made sure there is security at her door twenty-four hours a day.
“She will come around, Cord. The doctor said that there was a lot of damage to her head.” Nikolai tries to talk me through this. It doesn’t do any good. I saw the look in her eyes. She doesn’t want me anymore, and I can’t blame her.
“I’m sure she will. She needs to be herself again.” Taking a drink of the coffee I’ve been nursing for an hour, I try to close my eyes.
“She will. Once we get her home, she will be in better care. We will help her remember.” As much as I wished that was true, I know it isn’t.
“What shall we tell her? Should we tell her that the one thing she cared about was murdered, because of me? Or perhaps we should tell her that I am the reason she can’t remember in the first place. Wait, we should tell her that I am the devil and that she should run as far, and as fast as she can!” I roar. Throwing the coffee across the room, I shove out of my chair in the waiting room and stalk back down to Ava’s room. I push through the door with a nod to Luciano’s men before moving to take my seat next to her bed. Her eyes remain closed, her breathing is even. I don’t know if she’s truly asleep or if she’s just ignoring me but either way, I don’t leave her.
“You will never know how sorry I am. I will make this right. I know you don’t understand all of this right now, Ava, but you will in time. You may hate me when you do remember but that makes no difference now. I will make them pay for this, for you.” A single tear slides down her cheek. She heard me. The door flies open and Jordy stalks in. The look of pure rage etched across his face.
“You have news?” He nods his head as I stand.
“Luciano’s guys found Gambino. They had a nice chat. A few of the Gambino’s are missing, though. We can’t place their whereabouts.” Before I can ask any questions, Ava speaks.
“It’s a warehouse.” Her words are faint but we both heard them.
“What was that?” I ask moving closer as her eyes open and lock with mine.
“I was in a warehouse. I remember one red wall.” Her voice cracks as I move in on her. I grab her face in my hands, my lips mere inches from hers.
“Can you remember anything else? Any names?” The tears start to flow again. I press my forehead to hers before I whisper to her, “You are the strongest person I know. Thank you for living.” Pressing my lips to hers, I want to savor every inch of her but now isn’t the time. Now is the time we go to war. Now is the time that I begin my revenge. They threw me into the pits of hell when they messed with something that belonged to me, and now I will pull them down with me.
I left Nikolai at Ava’s side while the rest of us went out to have a look around. I got in with Luciano’s guys easily. They are all very trustworthy from what I’ve learned of them so far.
“Where would there be a warehouse district?” Sitting around the table at the hotel we are staying in, I look at the men that I now have at my disposal.
“There aren't any. This area is well built. Nothing like that exists here.” My eyes jerk from Linc as he speaks to Romero, who doesn’t look happy.
“You have information you’d like to share, Romero?” He knows my attitude is shit right now. They all know my mind is running on fumes and at any second I could lose it all together.
“As Linc said, there aren't any warehouse districts here. However, there are some about an hour out. If you don’t amp up your security, I wouldn’t suggest you head over there.” Clearly, I’m confused. I get that this isn’t my territory but at the same time, they do know who I am.
“Do you not understand that this has turned personal?” Romero nods his head. He knows.
“I’ll be your lead man then. I know you, but I also know that area. I grew up around there.” Finally, we are getting somewhere. I look around as the rest of the men continue to have soft conversations around me.
My mind wanders to places it shouldn’t go and I know that. I wished that I could stop it, but there is never an end to it. Ava needs me now more than ever, but how do I get through to her until her memories return? How can I make her remember how much I love her? The good things?