“Good. Now go!”
As if life has ever made sense to me, I try to figure it out. Is there really a meaning behind it? I’ve always heard people talk about the meaning of life. I think it varies from one person to the next, though. The meaning to my life is my family. The empire that I build to better accommodate the future of the Vitale family.
If this is the truth, then why do I feel as though I’m failing? Of course we have the money and more importantly the power, but in the end, what does that mean? I’ve never been one to dwell on the past or even look forward to the future, but as I sit here in this damn hospital room, I rethink it all.
Her. That one person that managed to sneak their way inside the walls I had worked so hard to build, lies there in silence. I was always told that women are a weakness. They are like a disease, but Ava isn’t. Ava’s a drug. A drug that slips its way into my veins. It spurs me forward. It fills me with such a sense of peace that I want more of it.
If Ava is my drug, then I am for sure an addict. Even now after several years, I find myself drawn to her in so many ways. A moth to a flame doesn’t come close to what I feel. If there was a way to fuse her into me, I would do it. As much as I tried to push her away, she knows my darkness. She knows the demon inside of me. She’s met him, she’s loved him. She’s brought him into her world. Her eyes flutter before they slowly open. I don’t move, knowing that she doesn’t truly want me here. I try not to focus on her eyes, the eyes that draw me in every time.
“Oh, God. Is that blood?” Ava tries to push herself up but I’m faster than her. I move with precision, lowering her body back onto the pillows.
“Don’t move like that!” I snap at her. I didn’t mean to, but she is making this harder for me.
“You’re bleeding.” Her eyes travel my body heating every goddamn inch of me.
How can an angel emit so much heat?
“It isn’t all mine,” I speak softly. I don’t want to say it to her. I don’t want her panicking either.
“Did you find the men that took me?” God, I wish I could say I had. I fucking hate myself for not being able to.
“No. We found the building but there were just a bunch of junkies in there.” If only they were the Gambino’s. I want so much blood from those motherfuckers, I can taste it.
“I didn’t know if you’d forgotten me.” My eyes shoot to hers. How could she ever think I’d forget her?
“Never. I wanted you safe, Ava. I never wanted to let you go.” Her eyes tell a story that her lips don’t.
“But you did.”
“I only did what I thought was right.” Why do I even try to?
“Was it right?” Shaking my head slowly, I know it wasn’t. I didn’t want her harmed or ending up dead like Amelia, but I risked her life nevertheless. I never wanted anything to happen to either of them.
“I've thought a lot about that day. It killed a part of me that I didn’t even know was alive. It tore at me every day and every goddamn night, Ava. I didn’t want you in my life so that you’d be safe. And look what that did! It could have killed you; I could have killed you.” Her hand comes to touch mine as every nerve fires off inside of me. Her touch is so warm and so much like I remember it.
“I remember you making me leave. It hurt. I know I came here to make myself a home, but I can’t remember what happened.” Tears cling to her lashes before I lean down and kiss them away.
“You will, mia bella ragazza.”
“You called me that a lot, didn’t you?” Asking me to reassure her of her own memories kills me. Nodding slowly, I lean into her lips.
“What does it mean?” A small smile creeps across my face.
“It means my beautiful girl.” Ava smiles and the rest of the world ceases to exist. In this moment, she is the girl that brought light into my soul.
I press my lips to hers, a slow and tantalizing kiss. The torment that was inside of her seems to slip away with each swipe of my tongue against hers. She’s still in danger. From Gambino’s, from me. I won’t let her go this time, though. There is no way that I could possibly lose her again.
“I want to make you remember everything. I want that smile that I used to see on your face, the one that melted even the coldest of hearts. You’ve opened up something inside of me, Ava. You tore your way into me. I tried so hard to keep you at bay but there you were, stronger than ever.” I kiss her salty tears as they cascade down her cheeks. Of all the hell there is in this world, Ava is the heaven. How can I not want this in my life?
How could a demon love an angel?
“I want to go home but I don’t know where that is.” Her light laughter stirs my insides. My cock springs to life just from her words.
“Your home is with me now. I’m never letting you go again. I can’t.” Her eyes widen. She didn’t expect that.
“Is that ok? I don’t remember. I mean, I know you care about me. I just don’t know.” Caressing her cheek with my knuckles, I chuckle.
“It will come to you, Ava. I promise you will be taken care of if you stay with me. I won’t let anyone near you ever again.” I see the resolution in her eyes. She wants to believe me; I know she does. The door opens and Jordy strolls in with a grin on his face.
“Do we need to discuss the knocking situation again?” In a harsh tone, I look at him.
“Nope. I know all about it. I have good news.” My stomach clenches hoping that its news of Gambino.
“Gambino?” Jordy frowns before shaking his head.
“Ava has been cleared for the flight home.” My stomach cramps. She’s coming home. Ava’s eyes dart from Jordy to me before I lean down closer to her.
“This is good news, Ava. I can get you better doctors there. You can be comfortable in your own bed.” She still doesn’t understand that I’m not letting her go. She is never leaving me again; I can’t handle it.
I guess I will just have to prove it to her.
Chapter 37
The flight was exhausting for Ava. Although her body is healing, her mind isn’t. She’s still remembering bits and pieces, but she’s worn down. She slept on my shoulder most of the flight, and now she’s sound asleep with her head on my lap in the back of the limo.
“Do you plan to marry her, Cord?” I glance up to see the smile on Nikolai’s face.
“I think we need to reconnect a little first.” Chuckling, I look back down at her. She’s everything anyone would want.
“She’s good for you. I know losing Amelia really took its toll on you, but that woman was what held you together.” I know he’s telling the truth. I also know that my decision to bring her back into my home could mean more than I know.
“She is too good. She’s pure and innocent. I’m a monster. I don’t know how I can make this work.” Nikolai huffs, pulling my attention back to him. “Say it. I know you’re going to anyway.” Jordy snorts next to him, knowing what’s coming.
“You are how this world created you. Don’t forget that when you tried to push her away, she came back full force. She’s awakened a part of you that has allowed you to grow as a person, Cord.” I don’t know how much of that I believe. I know she opened a new side of me, but how long will it be before my enemies see that? How long before they realize my weakness and move in on it? Ava is that weakness.