I’m hot on Nick’s heels. I don’t know what happened back there but he seems to be panicking about something. When he opens my front door I hear a voice I was not expecting which freezes me on the spot. What is it with people just showing up at my door lately?
“What the hell? ALANNAH!” He yells.
I run forward and move to stand in between them to find my father scowling and throwing daggers at Nick. His timing could not be worse. I haven’t had the chance to tell him that Nicholas is back in my life yet.
“Dad. What are you doing here? You didn’t tell me you were coming out.” I swallow down my nervousness like a teenager getting caught.
“It was supposed to be a surprise. What is he doing here?” He sneers.
“Grandpa!” Charlotte comes running over hearing his voice. Dad puts a smile on his face for her, kneels and reaches out for her.
“There’s my favourite girl in the whole world.” He gives her a hug and kiss before she’s off again.
I shift my eyes to Nick who looks unsure and nervous. This is not going to go well. Following the fallout after Nick threw me out Dad had some very clear feelings and choice of words. He hates Nick. I hated him too for a very long time but I had to let that anger go or it would have consumed me and my daughter deserved a mother that was not bitter. I need to talk to my father to make him see reason.
“Nick, can you please take Charlotte out to the park or somewhere for about an hour so I can talk with my father. Here you can take my car.” I collect my keys from where they’re hanging near the door and hand them to him.
“Of course.”
“And you trust him to leave and not come back with her.” Dad jumps in accusingly.
“I do.” I say without hesitation. I don’t even have to think about it. Nick may be a lot of things but he’s no kidnapper. I roll my eyes at the thought. I may not trust him with my heart but I trust him with our daughter.
“Hey princess, do you want to go out for a drive with daddy. Maybe go to the toy store?” Nick asks Charlotte as he kneels down in front of her.
“Yeah.” She jumps off the couch bouncing on the spot.
“Let’s put your shoes on then.” This child hates to wear shoes. The first things that come off each and every time we step through that door are her shoes. Nick helps her slip her sandals on then picks her up in his arms.
“Say bye to Mummy.” I kiss my daughter while dad glares at Nick as he walks past carrying Charlotte out.
“Bye, Mummy.”
“See you soon munchkin,” I smile.
Closing the door behind them I turn to face what feels like the firing squad. My dad has his hands on his hips looking at me both perplexed and livid with a storm brewing in his eyes. His disappointment has me becoming a little girl again who is being scolded for letting her parents down.
“What is going on, Anna? Why is he here? What possible reason is there for me finding him in your home?”
“Let’s sit down.” I follow him over to the couch, sit next to him and turn the TV off. The quiet that surrounds us is suddenly too loud, if that even makes sense. Usually Charlotte is running around playing and making noise. “He showed up a few weeks ago, wanting to meet and know his daughter.”
“So why now all of a sudden does he believe you that she’s his daughter, and what, you just let him in like the last few years don’t matter.”
“The why doesn’t matter. He’s her father, what am I supposed to do? I don’t want to be one of those horrible women who keeps their child away from their fathers because of their own issues. It’s not fair to her.” Nicholas has always been a very private person. His health issues are no one else’s business.
“You could never be a horrible person, Anna.”
“Look, yes he’s made mistakes but that is neither here nor there. We all have to behave like adults for Charlotte’s sake. I will not have her caught up in the middle of this. Only after a short amount of time she adores him and she needs him. I’m sorry if you don’t like it but you’re just going to have to get used to it.”
“So that’s how it is? I thought you were smarter than that. After what that poor excuse of a man put you through you’re giving him another opportunity to do it all again. What if the next time your daughter gets caught in the cross fire?”
“I don’t think that will happen. You haven’t seen them together. Nothing is changing except that Charlie is getting to know and spend time with her father whenever he’s able to come and visit. That is all.”
“That is all? Don’t lie to me or yourself.”
“Why are you so convinced I’m going to allow myself to fall for him again?”
“Because you once told me he was your soul mate.”
“Well, I was a young and stupid girl.” A girl that had to grow up very quickly and had the rose coloured glasses I saw the world through smashed to smithereens.
“You’re a grown woman, Alannah and I can’t tell you what to do or how to live your life but don’t come crying to me if it all blows up in your face.” Okay, so that really hurt to hear.
“Wow, thanks for the support, Dad.”
“Are you kidding me, Alannah? I have done nothing but support you all these years. Who was there when you couldn’t get out of bed? When you ended up in the hospital?” That’s three times he’s called me Alannah now. He must be extremely pissed off.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” I whisper back.
Tears pool in my eyes recalling that time. I came close to losing my daughter. There was a certain day I was so upset my blood pressure sky rocketed and I had to be admitted to hospital for a few days. Dad shuffles closer to me and gathers me in his arms.
“I love you sweetheart, and that little girl. The last thing I want is to see you back in that state.”
“Dad, please trust that I won’t allow him to charm me so easily again. I may not one hundred percent know what it is I’m doing but I’m trying my best and I don’t need to hear it from you and Mum. This is my choice and you need to respect it, even if you don’t agree. Charlotte needs to come first and that is what I’m doing, the way you always put me first. He may surprise us all but I won’t know if I don’t allow him the chance. I owe it to my daughter to give him the opportunity.”
“Okay, Anna. I won’t say anymore.”
“Thank you.”
The rest of the time is spent talking about other things and the golf game he and Pat have planned for this weekend which is the real reason he flew out here. Over the years my dad and Pat have become the best of friends thanks to the fact that he’s spent so much time here with me and Charlotte. I’m glad they get along otherwise family visits would be awkward.
Nick and Charlotte return with smiles on their faces and Charlotte wearing a Belle costume and tiara on her head. I should be thankful that’s all she came back with seeing as Nick has a tendency to go overboard. He’s carrying a couple of grocery bags as well.
“Charlotte wanted to make burgers for dinner together so we went shopping.” He says as they walk in. “I hope that’s okay?”
My dad gives Nick a not so pleasant look before taking Charlie outside to play with him while I help unpack the groceries onto the kitchen counter.