She was lost in his lips, his strong body pulsating into her, the comforting feel of his roaming hands, tantalizing her. She was lost in him, and could only hope it wouldn't prevent her from getting a clear bill of health from the doctor.
* * *
When the pediatrician told them Alex was better and fit to go home on Monday afternoon, Kristen couldn’t believe her ears. After giving her a pat of reassurance, the doctor scratched his balding head and left them. She bounced into Jake’s arms with such jubilance it actually unsteadied him. He could see the on-duty nurse in the NICU giggling as she brought Alex to them.
“You want him?” He laughed as her fingers clamped into his back.
She glowed with an exuberance he'd never seen in her before. If it wasn’t due to his son, he was sure he'd be burning with jealousy.
“We need to pick up the crib, stroller, toys, bottles, and all his other stuff,” she rattled on, out of breath.
“Let's take care of that apartment first. We need a place to put it in!” Jake gently caressed the baby's head with one hand, the other firmly on her back. “Are you happy, baby?”
“Very! You don't even know!” It was hard to believe an hour earlier she was on the verge of a depression induced meltdown. “He's so gorgeous! We're very lucky.”
“I know.” But did he really though? He couldn’t put his finger on it, something was amiss.
“You never told me about the deal with Henry,” Kristen whispered as she rocked Alex to sleep. His bottle almost drained, his eyelids became heavy, then fluttered closed.
Jake smiled, his eyes twinkling. “We've been busy, haven't we? I told him I'd start next week after we get Alex settled in.”
“Well, what do you have to do? Tell me!”
“He has two restaurants he wants murals for, maybe some window art paintings. Baby, he's talking $30,000 or more, depending on size and quantity. Then, listen to this, he wants to re-decorate his house in the Keys and a Miami Beach townhouse. He’s talking at least six paintings, maybe a mural or some glass art. Holy shit! I couldn't believe it!”
“Wow, that's awesome! That's a lot of work, though isn’t it? Do you have deadlines?” Remembering the law office, she shuddered.
“Naw, not really. The faster I paint, the faster we get money. But that's not it baby, he's a big investor down here. Franky said he's looking into a bar and the restaurants have bars too, so if we need extra money, hopefully I could work there. Then you don't have to worry about going back to work.” He grabbed her hand.
She pondered the idea, unsure if she agreed. “Let's see, eventually I'll want to, at least part time. Alicia said there's tons of law firms down here. I may have to brush up on my Spanish though, but she’s ready to help.”
“Then again, when we have another baby...” His eyes were bright and dreamy.
“Another one? Let me see how I do with him first please!” She laughed. “What about Oregon? How long would all this work keep us here?”
“It depends, six months, maybe more. Whatever you want baby. If you wanna stay, I'm cool with it. We can visit my mom, or we can move, whatever. The important thing is we have enough money. I know you're used to it. I want you to be happy.” He flushed, a bashful expression on his face.
“I told you a million times, I don't need a lot of money. All I need is you and Alex. I have no problem working either. Even though I bitch about the jackass attorneys, I do like it.” She smiled up at him.
“What? The work or the attorneys?”
“The legal work! Cut it out already. No more jealousy, remember?” Landing a playful slap on his muscular arm, her goal was to hit and run.
He held onto her, happy to change the subject.
“I may need your help. You could paint and sketch and we can find a gallery here to sell our stuff. Maybe you can try sculpting. I really think you'd love it. Wouldn't you want to get into art again Kris?”
She stared at him, in awe. “Yes, Jake. Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For believing in me.”
It came as a total shock and all he could do at that moment, was stare into the distance.
LOGAN
The pain meds, booze, coke, all blended together, forming that magical potion that set his mind in limbo and freed his soul. Maybe for a little while he could forget the debilitating pain and rise out of the sea of depression into soothing numbness. As long as he didn't look at the purplish yellow bruise around his stomach or his face with the hideous black eye, he could pretend it never happened.
For now, I’ll just pretend I still have Kristen in my life. Pretend her savage boyfriend doesn’t exist. An unexpected sigh of contentment was all he needed to get lost in the fantasy. At least for a few minutes.
Gina hadn't texted or called since he dumped her. One day and counting. It was a huge weight off of his chest. Now he could concentrate on what really mattered.
It wasn’t going to be an easy task. The disillusionment threatened to re-surface as he peered over the balcony ledge. Although it was difficult, he held it at bay, focusing instead on the grayish-blue clouds looming over the ocean. Turbulent, majestic waves pounded against the shore. If he listened closely, he could hear the whispered chirping of birds off in the distance. A momentary feeling of peace and tranquility permeated the air.
Reliving his conversation with Kristen, he knew there was no chance of reuniting unless Jake was out of the picture. When he took a deep breath, the salt air stung his lungs. Turning in slow motion, he walked back inside.
It had been a long time since he opened the safe. Up until then it hadn't seemed necessary. The .45 caliber pistol felt strange in his hand. He moved his fingers along it, admiring its elegance and beauty. A long time ago it felt so familiar. Probably right around the time he met Nick. As their dealings picked up intensity, it became more of a necessity than a luxury. Now, it felt foreign. Almost like a luxurious treat. A means to an end. What did it matter? He'd killed before, and that was without a real reason. This time it was different. And he was a real man now. With his adrenalin racing, arm steady, he held it up, aiming at the wall. Instantly an invigorating feeling of power and control overcame him. He hadn't felt a moment like this in ages. Sighing, he sank to the floor, placed the gun on his lap, and smiled.
Who was it that said I’m a pussy anyway?
KRISTEN/JAKE
It was a quaint little guest house surrounded by a lush garden and several tall palm trees. The master bedroom and living room were fully furnished. The kitchen had newer appliances, a big oak table and plenty of cabinet space. They even supplied a flat screen television, which helped since Jake sold everything before he left New York. The air conditioners sitting on the window ledges of each bedroom were a little old and noisy, but they served their purpose.
Alicia scooted alongside Kristen as they did their walk through. Jake trailed behind, flanked by Alicia's Aunt Cassandra, a talkative, stout woman in her early 50's. Her accent was thick and some of her words awkward, but Jake listened without questioning.
“So what do you think? The furniture is pretty nice. It makes it a lot easier if we move to Oregon!” Kristen clutched his arm, her face alive with happiness.