What could he say? The three women stood staring at him, their faces hopeful. Jake took Kristen’s hand in his. “It's great. As long as you like it.”
“There's tons of closets! I love it!”
“Come check the yard. It's all fenced and baby proof.” Alicia pulled Kristen away from him before he could finish talking.
Jake slumped against the wall of the second bedroom, grinning after them. It was smaller than he would've liked, but good enough for a nursery, he guessed. He would have to improvise for his studio. Maybe the enclosed patio that they called a Florida Room. Anyway, her mind appeared to be made up. He didn't dare argue. With a shrug and a bashful smile, he turned to Cassandra. “I think we're taking it.”
“Taking?” she asked, confused.
“He means he wants to rent it, Tia,” Alicia called from the garden.
“That means “Aunt,” Kristen whispered, a mischievous glimmer in her eyes. He shrugged, pulling her to him.
“Alex's room is kinda small.” He observed her closely. Future disagreements was something he wanted to avoid.
“He can sleep in our room with us then! Then you could use his for painting. It's only six-hundred a month!” Kristen exclaimed, escaping from him to run to Alicia.
Then it was a deal, what could he say? They signed a month to month agreement, gave Cassandra one month’s rent, and left with the keys. Tomorrow they'd pick up the baby things and set it up with the rest of their stuff.
* * *
“Hey, I was thinking of calling my mom to tell her about Alex.” Jake held Kristen back as they were leaving the hospital a few hours later, looking deep in her eyes.
“You didn't tell her yet? Why not?”
He shrugged. “I had to be sure.”
After eyeing him briefly, she smiled. “And now you are! So call her.”
“Have you told yours?”
Taken off guard, she stiffened and pulled her hand away. “No.”
She continued walking to street.
He caught up. “Why not, Kris? Don't you think it's been long enough?”
“Not now, Jake. Worry about your mom and I'll take care of mine when I'm ready,” she snapped without looking at him or stopping. It wasn’t the time or place to reveal what happened during her last visit. Her mother’s allegations, the possibility of her father’s violent, abusive nature still invaded her dreams. Coupled with the memory of her brother and their traumatic past, the heartache was suffocating her. She glanced back at Jake, tempted to tell him, then decided against it.
He stood dead in his tracks. Hurt by her cold attitude, he stared after her as she continued to the car.
* * *
Melancholy. It is hard to describe, but when it takes over, you know. Jake and Kristen both knew it was looming over them, but didn't know why. The mood remained somber on the trip home from the hospital, throughout dinner at the tiny Cuban restaurant they loved, and lingered back at the motel. There were no words, they were floundering in a sudden state of muteness.
Unable to stand it any longer, Jake took to the beach for a run. No matter how fast he raced along the shore, he still couldn’t out run the dark cloud hovering over him. He didn’t get it, they were moving tomorrow and bringing the baby home the following day. Yet, in what should've been a joyous time, the suffocating atmosphere between them rivaled the oppressive humidity outside. Hopeful a call to his mom would shed some light on his dilemma, he didn’t waste another minute.
“Mom. I have a son,” As soon as the words spilled out of his mouth he braced himself for her outburst. For a few minutes there was only silence. Then he heard her take a deep breath. In and out.
“You mean, I'm a grandmother?”
Her voice was soft and very calm; he wasn't sure how to handle it, or what to expect. The women in his life never ceased to mystify him. “Yeah… Mom, his name is Alex.”
“Oh my God, Jake, that is wonderful! When? Who? Tell me everything!” The dam had burst, overwhelming him.
Relieved, he couldn't stop smiling. “Slow down, I can't think that fast!” He laughed. He heard screaming in the background. Zora. They were shouting back and forth to each other.
“Alex? Like your dad?” Rosa had calmed herself.
He closed his eyes, nodding as if she could see him. But she couldn't.
“Kristen named him,” As soon as he spoke, the urge to hold her came over him. Unable to pull his eyes from the motel lights in the distance, the sound of his mother’s voice caught him by surprise.
“Kristen? You are back with her? It’s her baby?” Her excitement gained steam again.
“Yeah.” How can I explain my feelings? It’s so complicated.
Zora's voice screeched in his ear.” So it’s true? You and Kristen have a son?”
“Yeah Zora, it's a long story. When we get out there, we’ll tell you all about it. I know how—” Piercing screams of joy from both of them cut him off. Pulling the phone away from his ear, he had to laugh. He could picture them jumping up and down, hugging, then jumping again, the elation contagious.
“That's really great, Jake. I'm so happy you worked it all out. How old is he?” Zora again.
Jake thought back. “About two weeks.” A silly smile crossed his lips. He felt stupid for not knowing his own son's age.
Zora burst out laughing, then his mother joined in, taking over. “So when do we see this little angel, son?”
“Soon. I have some business here. Oh, we're in Florida. Miami actually.”
“Miami—but what about New York?”
“I don't think we're going back there, at least not to stay. Don't worry, a friend has the cats.” When was the last time he’d given those cats a second thought? He chuckled to himself, proud he’d remembered how concerned she was about them.
“That's good. I guess you have a lot to tell me. Will you get married? Someday?”
He should've been prepared for the drill, but he wasn't. He couldn't answer right away. It was a tough question, but a good one. If only he knew the answer.
“I hope so.” He paused. “She has to get divorced first.” Saying it made it much worse, but he couldn't lie to his mother. That was one of his weaknesses. And she always knew when he made a lame attempt.
“I see. Well hopefully you have it under control this time.”
“Yeah, Mom, I think I do.”
As soon as they ended the call, the emptiness weighed down on him, forcing him back to the room. He didn't want a confrontation, he just wanted her. She sat on the bed, her legs curled underneath her, surrounded by a pile of clothes. When she saw him, she stopped folding them and stared. Without a word, he went to her, pulling her up to him. He caressed her hair taking in every inch of her.
“Are you okay?”
“I'm fine. Where were you? I was worried.”
“On the beach. I needed some air.” He paused, allowing himself to be absorbed by the wisps of silky copper. “I was talking to my mom and sister.”
She turned her head up to view him. “Really? Were they happy? You told them, right?”