Krishna started digging through her purse until she took out a white envelope. “Here. This is for you.” She tossed it at me along with her wedding ring set. The rings bounced off my forehead and dropped to the floor. I couldn’t move. I was paralyzed with torment of the reality before me. “You wanted to set me free, and what you did destroyed me. I lost my child because of your selfishness. None of that matters now. You got what you wanted. We’re finally free of each other.” She placed her shades back on and slammed the door in my face.
It felt like someone stabbed me in the chest with thousands of knives leaving me for dead.
“Hello? Amell? Did Krishna just dump you? And what did she mean by she lost her child?” Cassian had quickly become a thorn in my ass already. I hung up on him and stared out the window watching her board a plane. Once she got on the doors closed.
My mind kept telling me to get out and chase after her. Plead my case. Beg for forgiveness. Tell her that I’m sorry. Make love to her until she screamed that she forgave me. So many things I wanted to do but knew of them had the power to make me move.
Opening the envelope with trembling hands, I wanted to rip them into pieces seeing her signature on the dotted line. “Fuck,” I yelled punching my fist through the window.
“Why are y’all here?” I questioned Pacino and Noelani.
Chief and I landed in Jacksonville, Florida with Krishna only God knows where. She flew in a different plane refusing to tell anyone where she was going. I asked David before he boarded the plane and he told me that he didn’t answer to me anymore. Everyone around me, the men who used to be on my payroll, they all answered to her now and refused to answer me no matter how on the edge I was from asserting my dominance.
I felt like that thirteen-year-old boy again at the mercy and control of my father. Only difference was that I was the abuser and those I loved were at the tip of my blunts.
“We don’t know. We received a call from David stating a vehicle would be outside of our homes at seven in the morning and here we are.” Noelani pinched the bridge of her nose before turning to glare at me. “What is all this about, Amell? You were supposed to get out after one year. Do you know…we buried Clover without her daughter.” Her voice trembled; eyes glossed over as she looked around. We were the only ones on the landing strip with two black SUVs waiting for us.
“All I know is Krishna better fix this shit. I’m tired of seeing my wife cry.” Pacino stood next to me shaking his head.
Noelani’s eyes enlarged hearing the name of her friend. “Krishna? Are you saying she’s behind all of this?” The tremble in her voice turned to anguish. “Does she know what you planned to do? All of this? Does she know about Mahogany helping too?”
Of course, she knew about Mahogany. Her wrath included everyone involved. Krishna wasn’t sparing a soul.
“Right this way.” One of the guards pointed to the SUVs.. “The drive is a little under forty-five minutes. Mr. Kalmin, you have to check in at the center no later than noon.” It was already fifteen minutes after eleven.
The drive was done in silence. My mind stayed foggy and jumbled with everything going on. Pacino and Noelani both ended up having to turn off their phones from my brothers calling so much trying to get me to talk to them. I had nothing to say.
Shame kept my mouth shut.
Embarrassment riddled me silent.
Exactly forty-five minutes later we pulled up to Edgewater Center for Healing in St. Augustine, Florida that sat on at least eighty acres of land. Driving down the long dirt road we passed several ponds and lakes. The center looked more like a resort than anything else.
Noelani moved closer to the window when we rounded a driveway. “Is that…that’s.” “Krishna.” Her and I said her name at the same time. “Why is Attorney General Beauregard Humphrey here with her?” Pacino asked the same thing I wondered.
Stepping out the vehicle Pacino, Noelani, Chief, and I stood before Krishna, AG Beauregard Humphrey, two smiling beautiful women, and two men standing behind them. Both men stood behind the women protectively. I tried to keep a neutral face when I peered over at Krishna. I felt my lips curl into a menacing snarl seeing him hold her hand. Seeing her body lean into his. Her eyes boldly collided with mine like she was daring me to act a fool.
Fed up with the awkward silence, Noelani stepped forward and lashed into her friend. “Do you know what you’ve done? You’ve…” Krishna held up her hand, confidence and resilience bounced off her in doses. She had changed into light blue jeans that outlined curves dangerous enough to make me kill over. The heels on her feet only made her stand out like the Nubian stallion she was. The silk yellow button up blouse accentuated her breasts perfectly. She had at least four buttons undone that made it impossible to hide the lace trim of her red bra underneath.
Holding hands. Damn near glued to each other’s side.
Had she let him touch her? Touch her how I touched her?
“I saved my family is what I’ve done.” Krishna’s voice remained neutral. I knew the fire burning behind her eyes was only staying put for so long. “You’re pissed because I shut down your precious ports and Pacino over there is pouting because I stopped Capone from working.” Without untangling her hand from Beau she stepped forward. “Try having both of your parents murdered over some bullshit.”
“Mine were also…”
“Noelani, shut the fuck up. Your parents died in a car crash not murdered.” Finally, fucking finally, she released his hand. “Everyone knew what he was up to. Everyone knew but didn’t tell me. I suffered alone. I cried and I,” she swallowed her emotions. “I dealt with the greatest pain; the greatest loss ever imagined.” Our child.
She lost our child and I wasn’t there.
She turned to me glaring. “I hate you from the depths of my soul, but my love for you, it doesn’t stand a chance. You gave me every reason to leave you and not turn back around. You don’t get to force me to give up on you because that’s what you expect. I knew, always knew you were special. Unique. Hard to love but at the same time easy to love because your pain has always been my obsession.” Watching her remain strong in front of all these people, I wanted to haul her over my shoulders and run until she and I were alone.
“This is my last fight, Amell.” She didn’t have to tell me. I heard the tiredness in her voice. Saw the results of suffering under her eyes. “My last fight. Counseling once a week on someone’s couch won’t help us. Andrea Carter and her brother Andre run Edgewater Center for Healing. Both of us need healing. Deep spiritual, emotional healing. You never healed from your father and mother. I have my own issues. One last fight, Amell. You pushed me away too many times because you thought I wouldn’t choose you. I chose you. I’ve always chosen you, even when you didn’t choose yourself.”
Krishna closed the distance between us, focusing her eyes on me. “If you don’t want us, don’t want me, walk away right now. Leave with them and never, ever look for me again. You choose.”
Krishna
“If you start crying, I won’t be able to walk away.”