I had no idea for how long I’d run when I heard the motorbike near me from behind. It slowed to a stop in front of me, and I halted when my gaze landed on Hayden, who removed his helmet and got off his Kawasaki. What was he doing here?
He advanced toward me, but I darted in the direction I’d come before he could come any closer. Unfortunately, my escape was short-lived because he easily caught me and spun me around to face him.
“Where do you think you are going?”
“Let me go!”
“Are you really planning to run away?”
“And so what if I am? That’s none of your goddamn business.” I writhed against him to set myself free, but his grip was as solid as ever.
“You really are incapable of getting some things into that stupid head of yours. Everything about you is my business. You don’t get to make any move without me knowing about it.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re not God.”
“No, I just own you.”
“You don’t own me!”
“Do I have to remind you about last night?”
I tensed, instantly disgusted by the memory of his forced touches and kisses. “You don’t have to remind me. I remember it very well. Especially the moment when you left me all alone with no way of getting back home.”
His hands actually loosened their grip on me, and I used this chance to pull away from him. He just studied me, searching for something in my eyes. I wondered if that was regret I saw in his.
No, that can’t be. You're delusional, Sarah. Why would he feel even a particle of remorse when he does everything with the intention to harm you? Besides, he crossed the line too many times.
Taking me by surprise, he outstretched his hand and touched my lower lip with his forefinger. I winced, watching him like a prey watching its predator, expecting the worst from him. His finger moved delicately across my lip, tickling me, and I stared back at him, astounded. I wanted to move, but I couldn’t.
“What are you doing?” I whispered, not even blinking as I read the raw emotions in his eyes—insecurity and bewilderment.
I tried to read every sign so I would know where the attack would come from. This was a game for him, and he must be acting now. I knew I needed to get away from him, so why did I still stand in place?
“You have blood on your lip.”
Without thinking, I darted my tongue out to lick that spot, which was my usual reaction whenever I hurt my lip, and caught his finger with it. We both tensed at the same time, our gazes locked on each other, and I went red.
What the hell, Sarah? How could you not think at all?
Could I disappear? Like, now?
His eyes were fixed on my mouth, non-blinking as he ran his finger over my lips. His touch was so intimate, and I wondered if I was imagining things. He had never touched me like this before. I didn’t want to move, and that was what scared me the most.
“Why are you doing this now? What is your plan?” I asked suspiciously. My questions obviously flipped some switch in him because he dropped his hand at once and looked at me, perplexed.
“You’ll turn around and go home.”
I frowned. “What? No!”
“Yes. Right now.”
“I don’t have to listen to you. I have no idea why my whereabouts bother you, but I have no intention of going back to that house.”
“Then I’ll put you on my bike and bring you back home. Would you rather like that?”
He reached for me, but I dodged him and backed away. “Don’t touch me!”
“Don’t act like a spoiled kid and go home.”
“Why do you do this?”
“Because.”
“Because why?”
He raised his eyebrow. “Because I can. Just like everything else I do when it comes to you.”
“You’re lying.”
I expected him to get ticked off or to yell at me, but his expression remained blank. “Consider it a payback.”
Of course. He did promise last night that there would be consequences if I stayed friends with Jessica.
“What are you waiting for? Go home.”
I gave up trying to reason with him. If I didn’t obey, he would either put me on his motorcycle and drive me back against my will or follow me around, and I didn’t intend to provoke him. I turned and started my sprint back home.
“Sarah!”
I stopped and looked at him over my shoulder.
“I don’t want you anywhere near Kayden’s grave tomorrow. You got this? You’re prohibited from taking even a fucking step in that cemetery.”
I KNEW HE WOULD SAY something like that. I knew he would forbid me to visit Kay’s grave, just like he did for his first death anniversary. However, back then I disobeyed him for the first time and went to visit Kay’s grave anyway. The next day, Hayden smashed my locker, burned my belongings in the schoolyard in front of everyone, and started a rumor about me being a hooker, inviting all male students to use my “services” freely.
That particular rumor was not only humiliating but also ironic, considering the fact that everyone knew I was a virgin.
This year? Who knew what Hayden could do...
My mother was already passed out on the couch when I returned home last night. She was in such a deep sleep that she didn’t even react when I shook her shoulder to wake her up so she would go to her bed. I covered her with a blanket, cleaned the mess she’d made in the kitchen, and picked up the bottle shards in our yard.
Back in my room, I found several messages from Melissa, but I wasn’t in the mood for texting anymore. I sent her a message saying I’d been napping and was really tired so I would text her back tomorrow. Although, I doubted I was going to do that, still not sure how I felt about Melissa and her overly friendly attitude.
It was already hard for me to get up today. Kayden’s death anniversary reminded me of my life-altering mistake, and the guilt I’d suppressed reappeared. The need to talk to him was too strong, creating a pain that verged on physical. I missed his laughter. I missed listening to him talk about astronomy and stars. How could I lose someone so precious?
Why?
In school, students called me a murderer for months after Kayden died. There wasn’t a day without their constant insults and hate, combined with Hayden’s and Natalie’s most vicious attacks. My mother turned into a heavy drinker at that time and became even more impossible to deal with. She would hit me every once in a while, failing to remember doing it when she was sober, and the rift between us soon converted into a chasm.
That had been the scariest and darkest period of my life, but I managed to keep going and focus on studying in hopes of becoming someone better, with a good future ahead of her. I promised myself I would escape everyone, even my own mother.
I also promised myself I would study hard and go to Yale art college. I wanted to show everyone, mostly myself, that I could become somebody one day, and my mother would see I wasn’t just a nobody, as she used to call me. I could go to a prestigious college no matter the odds and make the most of my drawing talent.
Soon, I reaped the fruit of my determination. I didn’t have social life, confined to my room, but that allowed me to become a straight-A student more easily, which became the only bright spot in my school life.
I entered the school, bracing myself for the worst. I didn’t have any classes with Hayden today, but I wouldn’t put it past him to go out of his way to exact his revenge in the most wicked ways. He could be extra difficult today, so I would have to work harder to stay under his radar.