Now, that was a surprise. I couldn’t imagine besuited Karen, who wore stilettos every single day at work, in trainers and Lycra.
A dimple appeared in one cheek. ‘I wear Lululemon kit and Brooks trainers,’ she said, answering my unasked question.
I bit back a laugh. ‘Do you break out in a sweat?’
‘I try very hard not to. It’s so undignified.’ She winked and we both burst out laughing.
I settled back into a routine quickly and for once, when five-thirty came, I was more than ready to abandon my computer and dash out of the door to join the rush to Leeds Station. I’d given myself a very strict talking to: I was not going to fall back into my old bad ways. The downside of leaving on time was that I got caught up in the rush hour and commuting back was as miserable as it was in the mornings. I didn’t get a seat for several stations. Even with careful time management, Poppy and Ava were some of the last children to be picked up. The club closed at six-thirty and, on Wednesday night, three days in, I arrived at the school at six twenty-seven.
‘Claire, Claire!’ called Ava, running across the floor when I was buzzed into the After-school Club. ‘We had tea. Sausages and beans. And I played with the Lego.’
I helped her put her coat on; although summer was just around the corner, the evening was still cool.
‘Come on, Poppy.’
The older girl slouched her way over, dragging her coat along behind her with a heavy sigh. ‘How was your day, Poppy?’ She’d been sulky and difficult for most of the week. I knew it was just the change of routine and hoped she’d get used to it soon.
‘Fine.’ She glared at me as she shouldered her bag onto her back. ‘Until we got here. It’s lame and there’s nothing to do. And tea was pathetic. Baby portions.’
‘Well, that’s all right. You can have something when we get home.’
‘Goodie! Can I have some cake? Hilda’s lemon drizzle.’ Ava yawned sleepily. Poor things, it was a very long day for them. I did a quick tot up of how many hours they’d been on the school premises. Shit. Eleven hours. Longer than my working day and I was a grown-up.
‘We’ll see,’ I said as we filed out of the building.
‘That means no, piglet,’ said Poppy. There was a vicious gleam in her eyes as she looked up at me.
I closed my eyes briefly as Ava let out the familiar wail of hurt.
‘Ava, stop that. Poppy, apologise to your sister.’
‘Sorry,’ she said in a surly voice which clearly meant anything but, but at least she had apologised, which was a definite improvement. Maybe I did have some authority with her after all.
‘When’s Mummy coming home?’ Poppy’s tone rang with belligerence when we halfway home, walking along the road skirting the park, and I could tell she was spoiling for a fight; she had that boxer’s bounce in her gait as she walked.
‘I’m… I’ll phone her this week and see what the latest is. She’s very remote and India, where she is, they don’t have the same sort of digging equipment we do.’
‘Why can’t you call her today? We’re five hours ahead. Mummy never goes to bed early.’
‘Poppy, it’s late. By the time we get home, we need to get organised and then it will be Ava’s bedtime. Why don’t we ring her at the weekend?’ That would give me time to text Alice and tell her that she must Facetime her children.
I shot a glance at my watch. ‘It’s already quite late.’
‘We’re only late because of your job. I want to speak to Mum. You can’t stop us.’
‘Me too. Mummy!’ trilled Ava. Dancing clumsily around my feet, she looked a little punch drunk with tiredness, bless her. ‘Let’s ring Mummy.’
The jab about my job did the trick as she’d known it would, but when Ava joined in, even though I was tired and desperate to eat – I hadn’t had lunch today – I gave in.
‘Okay, we’ll try and ring Mummy when we get home.’
We were still a few hundred metres from home when I had to scoop Ava up. She was on her last legs and stumbling with tiredness. Lifting her up, I had to struggle with carrying my laptop bag and my handbag as well as a carrier bag of groceries I’d grabbed from the M&S at the station. God, this was so unfair on them. I was knackered, so how on earth did they feel?
‘Can you open the door for me, please?’ I handed over my keys to Poppy.
She flounced up to the front door and Ava woke briefly as I hoisted her onto my hip, gave me a sweet, sleepy smile that grabbed at my heart, and dropped her head onto my chest. I dropped a kiss on her tangled curls and hugged her, following Poppy up the path.
‘She’s such a baby.’ Poppy’s lip curled and as soon as she’d opened the door she marched away down the hall, leaving me to close it with my hip. I watched her go with a heavy sigh. I didn’t have the energy to rebuke her.
I climbed the stairs carrying Ava, who was no lightweight, into her bedroom. She roused briefly as I put her down on the bed, undressing her and putting on her pyjamas before tucking her in.
I sat on the edge of the bed and bent to kiss her rosy cheeks. Affectionate as ever, her arms snaked around my neck like a small, determined python and she tugged me down, snuggling into my neck. I smiled. She was an easy child and I relaxed, enjoying the warmth of her arms and her soft snuffly breaths against my skin. If only life were this simple and we could stay here in the lamplit dusky light.
‘Night, night Ava da Pava.’ The long-forgotten nickname slipped out. Gosh, I’d called her that when she was about three. I swallowed back a lump.
‘Night, night, Claire Bear,’ she whispered, her eyelashes fluttering against her cheeks as if she could barely keep her eyes open. Stroking her ever matted curls, I watched as she slipped into sleep, her rosebud mouth slackening and tiny snores whistling from her nose. My heart expanded at the sight of her, unguarded and innocent, and part of me wanted to scoop her up, hold her tight and make sure she’d always be safe.
‘Oh God, Alice, I hope I’m doing this right. I think Ava’s happy,’ I whispered in my own personal prayer. ‘She’s so sunny. Easy. Sometimes she reminds me of you.’ Giving Ava one last careful kiss, I stood up slowly and whispered, ‘Night, night little one,’ before I crept out of the room.
As I came down the stairs with my mobile in my hand, I could hear the television. For some reason, this week Poppy had taken to turning the volume right up. I suspected she did it to annoy me and to drown out the noises of me tidying up the kitchen or cooking or tapping away at my laptop.
I winced at the on-screen shouting. Probably Hollyoaks. It was a new treat for her while I put Ava to bed. A compromise on my part because I wasn’t entirely convinced it was suitable but I’d needed something that made her feel she was being treated in a more grown-up way than her sister.
When I walked into the room, she was curled up on one end of the new sofa and studiously ignored me. Well, two could play at that game. I was too knackered to care. I’d be in bed not long after her, once I’d cleared out a few emails that I hadn’t got to today, but first I had to make myself something to eat.
‘Are we going to phone Mummy or not?’ The challenge rang in her voice, daring me to say no.