Chapter Thirty-Three
Nico
‘Mr. Morello, Captain Clynes is here to see you.’
My secretary’s voice filled my office and on instinct I looked away from the large windows I’d been staring out of for God knows how long and glanced back to the speaker on my desk. A long exhale left my mouth and I crossed my arms over my chest, feeling my leather shoulder holster pull tight across my back.
I knew it was only a matter of time before Trip arrived. In truth, I’d expected him sooner. How long had I been back in Vegas, was it three or four days now?
I hadn’t a fucking clue.
I’d been holed up in my office ever since I’d arrived back in the states. Doing paperwork that I’d pretended needed doing and checking up on things I really didn’t need to check up on. But it had helped to keep my mind focussed, by not allowing it to drift back to the woman I’d left in Crete. I hadn’t been back out to Red Rock Canyon because… well, because I couldn’t face it and the memories I knew it would, without a doubt hold.
Instead I’d been here, locked up in my fortress-like office. After having had clothes brought to me from the house, I’d been attempting to sleep on the couch and using the shower room that was connected to my office. I’d been using the space as my home, because I knew that for now and the foreseeable future it would be the only place I might get any peace.
‘Mr. Morello?’ Mrs. Busby questioned me, reminding me I still hadn’t answered her.
I could refuse him entrance. I could, if necessary, have him removed from the building, but knowing Trip like I did I knew he would keep on trying until I finally spoke to him.
‘Yes, thank you.’ I swallowed, trying to keep some of the annoyance out of my voice as I answered her. ‘Please send him in.’
I turned and walked towards the drinks’ cabinet, unplugged the heavy crystal stopper from the Bourbon decanter and began to pour myself a couple of fingers.
The door clicked shut at the far end of the room.
‘It’s nine a.m.’ Trip’s voice chastised me.
‘What can I do for you, Captain Clynes?’ I stood myself up as tall as I could, expelled air from my flaring nostrils and asked him the question without turning to face him.
His laughter filled up the large office. ‘And so it begins… first you pull away from Bee and now it’s my turn.’
‘I have another meeting in ten minutes, so can you say what you’ve come to say.’
‘Okay, sure… let’s get down to business. Firstly, I repeat, it’s nine a.m. and you’ve got a pretty large drink in your hand and secondly, this shutting yourself down crap might work on everyone else including yourself, but not on me.’
‘If you’ve come all this way to turn into my grandmother or to state the fucking obvious, then you can leave the same way you came in.’ I lifted up the Bourbon I was holding to my lips. Then I flung it far back on my tongue and swallowed fast, closing my eyes momentarily as I relished the burn at the back of my throat. This meeting was already going to the fucking dogs. What was it with family and friends? Resigning myself, I placed the expensive glass gently down onto the silver topped cabinet as I resisted the urge to throw it overarm to the opposite wall and to watch as it shattered against the plaster and into a million pieces. I heard him walk across the floor and take a seat on the couch.
‘Hello to you too,’ he uttered sarcastically. ‘I’d ask you how you are and if you’re struggling, but by just looking at you I can see that the answer to both of those questions is fairly obvious. I know a good therapist, perhaps speaking to Dr. Lemmon might help you.’
‘Good morning, I don’t remember asking you to work. I’m not flying out anywhere… I don’t need a fucking therapist, even yours… So, what can I do for you?’ I asked, using a tone of voice that let him know I wasn’t in the mood for a friend.
‘Seriously, you need to get the fuck over yourself… Do I really have to put into words why I’m here? You’re an intelligent man, Nic. At least I always thought you were, until three days ago when you ran away.’
‘I had a problem and needed to come back here.’
The laughter that left him let me know that he wasn’t taking any sort of bullshit today.
‘Yeah, the understanding that you were allowing yourself to live and to love someone must have been a huge fucking problem. I’ve been there, remember?’
I turned around fast.
‘Your life and my life are so very different you can’t use yourself as an example… Just fucking go.’
‘That’s the first thing you’ve uttered that makes any fucking sense so far. In the few years we’ve known each other, our lives have been different, I’ll give you that. Yet still we’re friends. Understanding that, you need to know that I’m not leaving here until you tell me what made you leave her… What happened, Nic?’
‘This happened,’ I shouted back at him as I moved my hands up and down myself. ‘Do you see this?’ I waved my right arm around the huge space that was my office, with its bullet-proof glass. ‘And this.’ I pulled my Beretta 92x out of my shoulder holster and waved it in the air.
God love him, he didn’t even flinch. His eyes went to the gun in my hand once and once only before they landed squarely back on my face.
‘She knows who you are,’ he offered as he leant forward to place his elbows onto his knees and clasp his hands together.
‘She knows only what I’ve told her.’
‘Then open up to her, tell her what hurts you, what scares you and let her make her own choice if she can live with it or not... She’s stronger than you think. I think she’d choose you whatever.’
‘I always meant to leave Barbara once she was in a better place, and now she is… So, it was time.’
‘Barbara?... Do you really think that by flying thousands of miles away from her and using her proper name, you’ll be able to separate yourself from her? Tell me you’re not that fucking stupid, Nic.’
‘I’m saving her from me, Trip… tell me you can at least understand that.’ My voice had risen in volume and I watched as the gun in my hand gesticulated in front of him as I tried hard to make him understand just what I was doing.
‘Saving her from you? Just who the hell do you think you are?’
‘Now who’s not using the brain they were born with? You know who I am. You know what sort of family I come from.’
‘Yeah, I do. I know all of those things. But, why the fuck would you ever hurt her? You’ve moved hell and high water to change what your business is about. You’ve recompensed where you can, the pain your father caused others.’
I smacked my palm hard onto my chest.
‘That’s just semantics. Inside here I’m damaged, he impaired me to the point I’m charred and blackened inside…’ My voice that had been gaining in volume dropped as I placed the gun next to the alcohol on the side and looking down to my feet, I pushed my hands into my pockets. ‘She needs and deserves better than me.’
‘Better than the man she married? Better than the man she loves? I never thought I’d say this to you, Nic, knowing what you’ve survived and lived through, but you need to grow a set of balls. You’ve taken the coward’s way out instead of fighting for the life you want.’