I quickly worked out by the lighting in my room that it was the time of day that Nico and I had always embraced.
No more… stop. With a sudden loud sniff, I effectively swallowed down my hurt and attempted to shelve the pain.
At the same time, I saw the moment the pink tufts of Pearl’s hair poked around the edge of my bedroom door and I wiped underneath both of my eyes hurriedly with the backs of my hands as I attempted to conceal my pain from her.
‘You’re awake. I thought I heard you…’ I watched as she came in the door and walked towards my bed, eyeing me with concern. ‘Is he bothering you?’ Her head tipped to where Tiger was already curled up and asleep.
‘No, not at all. I think he missed me.’
‘We both did. But I was happy because you were happy…’ Her voice changed in tone and I felt the bed dip as she sat down on the edge of my bed. ‘Can you tell me what went wrong?’
This had been a recurring theme, along with the fact she was worried I had made myself ill with the upset of it all. But finally, she’d asked the question outright.
I shook my head a little and exhaled, which disturbed Tiger’s beautiful ginger coat.
‘I’m truly not sure.’
Her eyes found mine as she appeared to mull over what she thought might have happened in her head. But obviously not coming up with what she felt was a good enough answer, she thought better of releasing the words into the world. Just as quickly as she’d sat down, she stood back up again.
‘Well, the good thing is you look better after that sleep.’
Gently, so as not to disturb the cat, I stretched out my body, feeling the edge of the mattress with my toes and the headboard underneath my fingers.
‘I do feel better. I’m not sure why I’m so rundown at the moment.’ I looked up at her.
‘Well I think I may have an answer for that… stay there.’
Pearl left my small bedroom. I heard her walking towards my kitchen and then her footsteps were on their way back. Once again, she appeared around my door, but this time she was holding a brown paper bag in her hand.
‘This might help.’ She nodded at me resolutely.
‘This way, Mrs. Morello.’
‘Thank you.’
I followed behind the impeccably dressed woman until we came to a door I was already familiar with. In truth, I wanted to stop for a few seconds to brace myself, but knowing he would already know I was out here, I held my head high and followed as assertively as I could. Luckily, I was holding a large, black, zipped folder in both of my hands, otherwise I knew I would be wringing them with my discomfort at the situation and that wasn’t how I wanted this meeting to go at all.
‘Mrs. Morello.’ Franco tipped his head towards me.
‘Good morning, Franco,’ I offered him a half smile.
I watched as Franco placed his thumb on the scanner by the door and heard the click as the lock released itself on recognition.
‘He’s expecting you,’ he offered me almost apologetically.
‘Of course he is, because you wouldn’t be doing your job very well if he wasn’t,’ I replied.
I reached out to touch one of his large arms as I tried to reassure him of the fact that I knew the whole of Nico’s security team would be reporting back to him my every movement. It wasn’t, as far as I was concerned, them taking sides against me, I knew they were just doing their jobs.
I looked on as Franco’s large hand pushed open the door in front of me and after taking a deep breath I strode into Nico’s office.
With every step I took I was thankful that I’d spent nearly the whole of yesterday shopping. As far as I was concerned this was going to be at the very least a business meeting. I had an agenda to run through and I wanted to look and feel the part. Having explained that I wanted to be wearing something powerful to the shop assistant yesterday, after already having had my hair and nails done, she’d pulled out several options in my size. My eyes had been immediately drawn to the bright red, fitted dress I was wearing now.
I had been in Nico’s office a few times before today, but I had never felt more in control than I did at this moment and I knew it was the care I had taken with my appearance that made me feel that way.
‘Bee.’ His voice was deep and gravelly.
His voice came at me and my insides began to quake.
Don’t you dare, Barbara… don’t you dare.
I took hold of the back of the chair in front of me, but refused to dig my fingers into the expensive leather, knowing he would be able to read just how I felt by that simple action.
I took a few seconds to settle myself and then I turned my head and lifted my eyes to find him.
As my eyes took him in, I inhaled and held my breath. He was stood with his back to me. A black, button down shirt was stretched magnificently across his back and it was tucked into a pair of smart pants which fitted him like a glove. If I still hadn’t been able to see every undulation and worked hard for muscle on his body in my head already, I knew the way his clothes fitted him would have given me a very good idea.
‘Nico,’ I managed to force out on an almost whisper.
Still holding onto the chair, I made myself stand taller on the four-inch heel, strappy, crystal-jewelled Louboutins, as I waited for him to turn around.
Finally, he did.
Our eyes met and our worlds as they now were collided. The power, the pain, hurt and silent recriminations swirled around the room so fast it was hard to draw in a meaningful breath.
I took him in for the first time in five days and although I knew we had been apart for longer periods before in our short marriage, I understood that I had never missed him like I did at this very minute. We were stood not twenty feet apart, but at this moment in time it felt like the distance of an ocean was between us.
I swept my eyes over him. His hair was impeccably styled, his jawline was clean shaven, and his thick framed glasses were covering his eyes.
My brash boss was back.
Just as I thought I couldn’t go on with this so called business meeting that I’d conjured up in my head, and as the feeling of wanting to flee began to take hold of every sinew in my body, I watched his dark brown eyes as they ran over me and took all of me in. He pulled his glasses off his face and in the reflection of his eyes I could see everything he was trying to hide from me.
Hope replaced my need to flee.
‘I have a business proposition for you.’ I spoke and watched as his left eye narrowed in on me.
‘You do?’ he questioned as his head twisted slightly to one side when he tried to read the situation between us.
‘Yes, because I need to make a living. I refuse to be a kept woman, especially one that her husband feels is a dead weight around his neck.’
‘Bee… your choice of words,’ he pushed in, interrupting me.
‘Please do me the decency of hearing me out.’
Nico crossed his arms over his chest and nodded back at me. ‘Please take a seat.’
‘I prefer to stand, but I will need somewhere to spread these out.’ I held up my zipped folder.
Nico waved one arm towards the meeting table next to him and summoning every ounce of strength I had in me, I let go of the chair which had been offering me the stability I needed and walked towards the table and closer to him.