She turns back to me, giving me a small, very sad smile. “Now I think Linc is right—that it’s best to just leave the past in the past. Nothing good can come from dredging all this up again.”
I shrink back, again feeling guilty, but hating that Asher is still very much there, in the past, with his grief. “You don’t deserve his wrath, do you?”
“I’m not innocent in all of this, Viv.”
“None of us are innocent.”
“It feels like a lifetime ago.”
“For the record . . .” I owe her something even if I sound weak. “I think you’re an amazing human being. You didn’t have to be nice to me, but you’ve become one of my best friends.”
“You’re not hard to love, Viv.” Her smile turns bright. “And neither is that beautiful kid you made.”
With her boyfriend.
“I think you and Asher need to have a real conversation.”
She takes a deep breath, full of nerves. “He can’t be forced. Colt is held up high for all of us. And I’m okay with him being there, with Asher hating me.”
“But you don’t deserve it.”
She’s kind, and her tone is light when she smiles. “Viv, let it go.”
I should agree to drop it, but I can’t. Instead I tell her I'll see her tomorrow and exit the car politely.
Because I’m not so sure letting it go is the right way to handle this, and I feel a deep need to at least try to open Asher’s eyes.
“Jesus, Asher.” Viv gasps into my mouth as her fingernails scrape down my bare back, her small body under mine.
I remembered to lock the door. But I still cover her mouth with mine as she comes around my cock and moans my name so we don’t alert Baz who’s asleep down the hall.
We’re sweaty and spent when I roll off her, looking up at the ceiling in my room. I didn’t even make it one night without being inside her again.
She rolls to her side to face me, and I can feel her analyzing me. My voice is playful when I grin, still looking up. “Stop trying to figure me out, Viv.”
Her finger drags over my stomach, through the ridges that are the result of hours spent in the gym. “Oh, Asher Sterling, I figured you out long ago.”
I swivel my head to look at her, amused. “Is that so?”
She nods her head, still dragging her finger over my abs. “You’re the man who moved in with me to help with your nephew when you didn’t have to.”
I swallow the emotion I feel as she speaks. “That was not a hard decision.”
“Not for you, it wasn’t.” Her open palm rests over my heart. “You’re the man who makes Baz laugh so hard I'm afraid he’s going to throw up. But you do it because you love to hear him laugh,” her voice is quiet and calm as she smiles, “and see him happy.”
“Who wouldn’t want to hear that goofy-ass laugh?”
Her lips press against my shoulder as her body presses against mine. Her naked breast pressed against my side feels far too good. Even post orgasm, I can feel my dick stirring for her again. Because I can never get enough of her. “You’re the man who came from wealth and could have easily chosen a career to keep you in that same lifestyle but instead chose to teach young children.” Her chin lifts as she looks up at me, her eyes shining. “Because you’re a good man, Asher.”
This conversation is too deep. “Don’t give me too much credit, Viv.”
Her voice is a meek whisper as she looks into my eyes, not letting me off the hook. “Asher, I’m so sorry.”
I give one shake of my head, not wanting to talk about this. “You’ve said that.”
She looks determined as she moves her small body onto mine, her thighs straddling my waist as she looks down at me. “They all left you.”
I grab her hips, ready to lift her off me, but her hands cup my face and she commands me to listen to her using only her eyes. “Colt died and left you.”
A massive lump forms in my throat, and I feel the grief bubbling to the surface. “Don’t, Viv. Don’t talk about him.”
One hand remains on my cheek as her other drags over my jaw, her thumb sweeping over my bottom lip. “But then, so did Lincoln after Colt’s accident.”
The anger and bitterness grips me, thinking about Linc retreating after Colt died. I’m sure he felt intense guilt because I know he had something to do with Colt going on that fucking boat that night. Something happened between Colt, Linc, and P. “He had to go back to school.”
She lets her hand slide down my throat, her touch light. “Lola left you behind.”
“Stop.” My eyes meet hers with desperation.
“Your father left.”
I scoff at that. “That was a blessing.”
“But they all left you to pick up the pieces. Your mother . . ..”
Her hand rests over my heart, and I grab her wrist. “Who you adore.”
“I adore all of them. They were all drowning in unimaginable grief and guilt . . .” She lowers her head, her lips ghosting over mine, but she straightens her body again, peering down at me. “But it’s a fact that you were abandoned and left to pick up the pieces.”
“Why are you doing this?” My hand still has her wrist captured, although it’s me who’s the captive in this scenario.
“Because I’m so sorry, Asher.”
“Viv, don’t do this. We just fucked, and we should be on an orgasm high.” My other hand squeezes her hip gently. “I could go for round two.”
I’m deflecting, and I'm begging her to go with it. But, of course, this stubborn fucking woman won’t let that happen. Her breasts press against my chest and our hands between us when she leans back to my lips. “When I left you, I didn’t understand, Asher.”
My eyes darken. “I don’t want to talk about that.”
“But we need to.”
I groan. “Fine. What didn’t you understand when you became just another person to leave me?”
She winces, but she asked for this. And she doesn’t back down. Her lips hover over mine. “That you were in love with me too.”
My chest aches, and I can’t look her in the eyes. “Oh please.”
Her lips drag over mine, but she doesn’t kiss me. “I was shattered. I thought that you didn’t care about me. Maybe I was just young and naïve, but I thought I was going to die, and you seemed fine to me. I thought you’d just moved on. I didn’t see it, Asher.”
“Viv, this is ridiculous.” I want to get up, and I could easily lift her, but it’s her fucking eyes that hold me here when she pulls back enough to look deep into mine.
“You loved me too, but you weren’t ready to admit it, and I left you.”
“Please. Stop.” I’m flat-out begging her. I don’t want to talk about this. That was the worst time in my life, and I don’t want to go back to it.
“Halloween.” I almost gulp as she lays a kiss on my cheek. “The beach.” She kisses my other cheek. “Tonight.” She kisses my lips and whispers against them. “You didn’t fuck me.” She looks up at me, and I swear I can feel her heart beating against mine. “You made love to me.”